The Past Comes Back to Bite You
by sillybella
Summary: AU: After Edward left Bella went to Jacksonville to live with her mother. Years later, after her husband dies, she returns to Forks with her daughter. What will Edward think when he passes through? What will Bella's daughter think of Edward? B
1. Mirage

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of New Moon. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie and Be My Escape for their help and patience with this story. They were both so much more than beta readers.

_**Mirage**_

by silly bella

I watched as the girl carried boxes into the house from the back of the truck. I wasn't sure if she really looked that much like Bella, or it was just wishful thinking. She was taller. She didn't seem in any danger of falling. But otherwise, she seemed like a mirage, a vision to toy with my mind. Would she or her parents notice me wandering around their property on occasion?

My family ignored my periodic absences. They knew full well where I went when I disappeared, but they never mentioned it. Jasper offered, from time to time, to run a computer check on her and let me know about her life. But that was wrong. I knew that she'd gone to live with her mother in Jacksonville and that she'd married someone right out of high school. There was nothing more for me to know. I'd been right. She'd moved on. But _my_ heart was still in Forks.

I returned my focus to the child in front of me. This girl was young. A teenager, I guessed. Probably about Bella's age when she moved here. She didn't look happy about it, either. I wondered where her parents were, and why they had left her here to unpack alone. I might as well make myself useful.

"Would you like some help?" I asked cheerfully. She grinned as I walked towards her.

"As long as you don't mention it to my mother. She has this really scary thing about talking to strangers. Especially here in Forks. She's a little paranoid." The girl laughed. "She acts like I'm going to run into serial killers having an annual convention or something. Like this place could be dangerous." Her mind was working furiously as well. _He's really cute. I wonder if he goes to school here? He probably already has a girlfriend. But he really is cute._

I grinned. Like I hadn't heard that before. Might as well take advantage of the situation and learn more about the family, as well. They might not be seeing so much of me, but I'd probably see a lot of them. Good to know what's in store. "What about your father?" I asked. "What does he think of strangers?" She stood back, eyeing me with an evaluative stare as I climbed into the truck to find a light box for her and a heavier one for me.

She shrugged and approached the truck. "Daddy died a little over a year ago. And he thought Mom was paranoid, at least, just a little. He never understood why Mom wouldn't let me go hiking or anything like that when we came to visit." A chuckle escaped her lips. "We knew why she didn't hike around here. The same reason she didn't hike anywhere. She was a disaster waiting to happen. But Daddy, well, when I went with him, there was no reason for her to worry about the two of us in the woods."

The box I was handing off flipped open and some books fell out. One of them sprawled open, exposing the inside cover. There was a name inside. Isabella Swan. The girl's scent hit me as I gathered the books. It wasn't anywhere nearly as strong as Bella's, but it was strong enough. And vaguely familiar. "So are you Charlie Swan's granddaughter?" It wasn't possible. There was no way Bella had a daughter this old. It was simply impossible.

But somehow, she was shaking her head. "Yeah," she grinned as she rolled her eyes. "That's Forks for you. Marietta Baldovino. I would say at your service, but it seems more like you're at mine. And you are?"

I raised my eyebrows. Bella had daughter? A teenaged daughter? A poised teenaged daughter? What had she asked me? My name. "Edward," I stammered. It hadn't been that long. How could Bella have a teenage daughter? But Bella was right about her not going into the woods. The scent of her blood would attract any vampires who might be hunting in the area. I followed her with the box. "So how old are you?"

"Thirteen," she smiled as she tossed her hair over her shoulder to look into my eyes. "What about you?"

"I'm seventeen," I said hesitantly. Thirteen. Younger than she looks. Younger than she acts. But still! Bella had a teenage daughter?

_Seventeen. Four years difference. But girls mature faster than boys, so that works._ She smiled again. "A senior, then?"

"Something like that," I murmured. I was still staggered by the fact that Bella had a thirteen-year-old daughter. That explained why she looked so much like Bella. At least I wasn't going crazy. And her smile. That was Bella's, too. But the differences seemed far more vast. She had powerful self-confidence. And she must have inherited some coordination from her father. She'd clearly have the boys of Forks wrapped around her little finger. Maybe even more-so than her mother. And where Bella had never seemed comfortable with attention, her daughter appeared perfectly at ease with it. It almost made me think of Rosalie. Bella's daughter made me think of Rosalie? Maybe I was losing my mind.

We carried the boxes into the house. I asked her to just sit the ones that went upstairs at the foot of the stairs so I could carry them up. I didn't want to take any chances on being wrong about her coordination. "So what's your mother like?" I asked, suddenly eager to learn more about Bella.

"She's not like somebody's mother," Marietta laughed. "At least, not except for the 'don't talk to strangers' thing. She's kind of fun. She was really young when I was born, so maybe that's it. She has brothers and sisters younger than I am. Well, half-brothers and a sister. People think that Mom and I are sisters all the time. When they find out she's my mother, they always act like she must have been some unwed fourteen-year-old when I was born. She was nineteen. But she still looks young."

I nodded, grinning at the image of Bella I saw in Marietta's thoughts. If it was accurate, Bella hadn't changed much. "How long were your parents married?" I forced the air in and out of my lungs, trying to calm myself as I listened. I probably looked like I was hyperventilating, which was bizarre, since I didn't even need to breathe.

"It would have been fourteen years, more or less," she raised her eyebrows. "I was a honeymoon baby. Daddy always used to make a big deal of it. He never wanted anyone to get the wrong idea, which, if you'd ever seen my parents together, would be easy to get." She made a face as an image of Bella greeting a dark-haired man at the door flashed through her memory. Bella raced to the door and leapt into his arms. He caught her and kissed her as she wrapped her arms and legs around him and he carried her through the house.

Think about something else, please. Enough of that image. I really didn't want to see it. "What does your mom do?" I asked. Make her think of something else. That might help.

"My mom? She teaches English. If you're a senior, you might have her for class. She really likes teaching Brit Lit," she paused. "She's got a position here in Forks so we can stay with Gramps. He has Alzheimer's. Mom wanted to have someone take care of him here at home, but it just wasn't working. She had to move him to a home in Port Angeles. She's there right now checking things out."

"And she left you to move in?"

She shrugged. "We didn't have that much. Most of it was already here. Some people she knew when she lived here helped with the furniture last week. She'll help when she gets back. It shouldn't be that long. I'll have to stop and start cooking dinner soon. Would you like to stay? You ought to get something for helping me so much." _I wonder what he likes to eat? Not that there's much here to choose from. We need to go to the grocery._

"I really shouldn't." What would Bella say? What would she think? I couldn't stay. No matter how much I wanted to see her. I did want to see her.

"Don't be silly. If you really don't mind carrying all those boxes upstairs, then I'll start dinner while you do that. Mom will be here soon. The phone's over there if you need to call anyone." She gestured to the kitchen. _And I'll be able to check the number so I can call him later._

I could still take things upstairs. I'd just do it quickly and then leave before Bella came home. It wouldn't take long; the boxes were marked according to room. I was about done when I heard the front door shut.

"Smells good, Mari Alice." It was Bella. And who was she talking to?

"How's Gramps?" Marietta asked, without waiting for an answer. "I had some help with the boxes. A local boy. I invited him to stay for dinner. He didn't want to, but I convinced him." _I hope she doesn't get mad. She'll probably assume he's an axe-murderer. _Her tone of voice changed, "He's not a dangerous stranger, Mom. He's just some kid who lives here who offered to help me. A nice guy. Be nice to him." She paused. "Please, Mom." And in a voice that I wouldn't have been able to hear if I were human, she whispered to Bella, "Besides, Mom, he's cute." _He's really cute._

Bella laughed and sighed. "Fine sweetie. I'll be nice. I promise. Where's your friend?"

"He's upstairs with the boxes." I heard Marietta walk to the stairway and call my name. Too late to hide. Too late to run away. Even if I ran, she'd figure it out. I took a deep breath and walked down the hall to the head of the staircase.


	2. Catching Up on Old Times

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of New Moon. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie and Be My Escape for their help and patience with this story. They were both so much more than beta readers.

_**Catching Up on Old Times**_

by silly bella

"Your friend's name is Edward?" I frowned. I had a bad feeling about this. I tried to keep the shock off my face when I saw him standing at the head of the stairs. Breathe, I reminded myself. Breathe. I hadn't had this kind of trouble breathing in years. Breathe. Concentrate on the anger, not the hurt. Breathe. Once more, I was happy that he couldn't read my mind. He smiled that crooked smile of his and looked angelic. _Damn him._ He hadn't changed one bit. How could he seem so calm when I could barely breathe? The answer dawned on me immediately: because he doesn't love me. I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my eyebrows. I hoped my voice wouldn't crack. "Hi, Edward. I hear you're staying for dinner. Won't you come on down and have a seat?" Staying for dinner. Right.

He stared at me, stunned. Mari Alice gave me a look of dread. Be nice to him, she'd said. Fine, I'd be nice. But that was only because I knew I couldn't kill him.

"Mom, this is Edward," she nodded in his direction. "Edward, this is my Mom, Bella Baldovino."

I nodded and gave him a saccharine smile. "How nice to meet you, Edward." I held out my hand.

"Mrs. Baldovino," he grinned. Instead of shaking my hand, he lifted it to his lips and kissed it. Marietta sighed.

He did _not_ call me Mrs. Baldovino. He acted like I was ancient. How dare he! I knew which one of us was over one hundred. I narrowed my eyes as I glared at him. "Bella will be just fine, I think."

"Bella, then," he said, nervousness creeping into his voice.

Touché. He ought to be nervous, showing up like this. "What brings you to the neighborhood, Edward?" I asked innocently. I noticed Marietta following us like a spectator at a tennis match. She paid too much attention to him. I knew what that was like. What it could lead to.

He sighed. "Just rambling through when I saw Marietta unpacking and offered to help."

Marietta fixed three plates, and loaded them with a rice and chicken dish. I smiled wickedly at him and called out, "Mari Alice, why don't you add an extra piece of chicken to Edward's plate. It sounds like he's been working hard to help you. He must be hungry. You know how teenaged boys eat."

"Thanks a lot," he mouthed while Marietta's back was turned. I smiled and shrugged. "Why do you call her Mari Alice?" he asked. He looked suspicious. I couldn't imagine why.

Marietta answered him as she set a plate in front of him. "My father's mother is Marietta. My first name is after her. My middle name is for a friend of my mother's. I've never met her, so she must be _some_ friend." She rolled her eyes. "Mom calls me Mari Alice because she likes to use my middle name. Please, call me Marietta. No one but my mother calls me Mari Alice." She placed another plate in front of me and finally sat down with her own.

"I miss Alice," I said with an icy edge. "I never got to say goodbye to her when I moved away from Forks."

"My sister's name is Mary Alice." He smiled. "Of course, we've always just called her Alice. But isn't that an interesting coincidence?" How had Alice learned her name? She hadn't known anything about her past. I stared at him as he cut the chicken. Marietta watched too, eagerly waiting to hear if he liked her cooking. He placed a bite into his mouth and chewed. I struggled to keep from laughing.

"I'll bet your sister hates it as much as I do," Marietta scowled.

He smiled and glanced from one of us to the other. The rock and the hard place. The devil and the deep blue sea. Smooth as ever, he responded, "Actually, I think she quite likes it. And I know she'd be interested in knowing there's another Mari Alice out there."

Marietta shuddered and rolled her eyes. "Then she's cruel." She smiled pointedly at me.

Before she could add anything, I spoke. "Mari Alice, I found you a job for the rest of the summer."

"A job?"

"Some friends of mine need a babysitter this summer. It's good money, and it will keep you busy." I smirked at him. "You know the Newtons, don't you?" That should get a response.

He frowned. "I believe I do." He played with his food, clearly hoping to avoid eating much more. I knew he'd have to cough it up later. I didn't much care. If he could show up at my door after all these years, I could have a little fun with venting my anger. After all, he'd walked out of my life. It wasn't as if I'd had any hope of finding him.

"How many kids?" grumbled Marietta. I filled her in on the details as we finished eating. During that time, Edward stared at me. Downright stared. And then he stared at my wedding band. I felt myself turn red. I'd never gotten over blushing. I twisted my rings nervously, and Marietta noticed.

"I miss Daddy, too, Mom," she whispered protectively. She was such a Daddy's girl. Edward frowned then looked confused for a moment. Marietta reached for my hand and smiled. She turned to Edward and said proudly, "My father was a hero. Not just when he died, but every day. He saved people's lives all the time. Momma used to tell him that he saved her life, too." Edward looked stricken, his eyes full of concern. Let him wonder about that. "But she met him before he was a firefighter, so that never made a whole lot of sense to me." His eyes sought mine. Did he expect me to explain?

I coughed and lowered my eyes before standing abruptly to kiss Marietta on the temple. "You don't have to pull people from a burning building to save them." I ruffled her hair and took both of their plates to the counter. I turned, smiled at him and asked, "More chicken, Edward?" I felt evil, perversely enjoying his digestive issues. I was caught between the anger, wanting him to hurt as I had, and the fact that I'd never really gotten over him and certainly never stopped loving him. Part of me wanted to fling the leftover casserole in his face. Another port of me wanted to lock Mari Alice in her room and kiss him. Not that he'd want that.

"No, thank you," he murmured as he watched the two of us both carefully.

I started running water in the sink and said to Marietta, "I'll get the dishes." The way she watched him. It was so familiar. She was too much like me. She'd tempt him in ways I didn't even want to think about. And what if her blood smelled like mine? I had to put some distance between them. "Some old family friends have invited us down to La Push tonight. I told them we'd be there."

Marietta looked at him. "Will you come with us?" Her eyes pleaded. I knew how she felt. At least she hadn't made him run away to Alaska.

He shook his head. "Really, I can't."

I laughed. Of course he couldn't. I'd have to remember that. It looked like Mari Alice was falling for him. I couldn't blame her. But I could blame him. "Go on and get ready. You need to clean up after unloading all those boxes." Marietta rolled her eyes, reluctant to leave, and waved to him before she dashed upstairs.

The two of us shared an uncomfortable silence. Finally I spoke. "I'll see you out." He stood and followed me to the door. I closed the door behind us and we stood on the porch. I tried to sound calm. "Edward, I have no idea what brought you here, but I have an idea why you stayed. I will plaster up that window in her room if I need to. Do you hear me?"

He blinked, appearing confused for a moment. Then he shook his head. "Bella, it isn't that. No. I had no idea she was your daughter, at first. I just saw her working alone and offered to help. And then I could smell her. She doesn't smell as good as you do, but I knew for sure then who she was. I thought she might tell me about you. That was all I wanted. To know how you were." His eyes pleaded with me. "Bella, she's a child."

He dropped his face into his hands and continued, "I was just going to finish with the boxes upstairs and leave. Then you came home. Seeing you, hearing you speak." He inhaled slowly and I knew he was breathing in my scent. I wondered if it still affected him the same way, or if it had faded somehow, like a flower's fragrance slowly disappears. He raised his head and looked right into my eyes. "I'd eat a whole chicken for that if I had to. And listen to you talk about that vile Mike Newton and his vile children."

I couldn't help but laugh. "His children are vile, too, eh?"

"Everything about him is vile." He rolled his eyes. "Bella," he whispered, "I have no right to ask this, but can I speak to you again? I'd like to know –"

"You want to catch up on old times?" I hissed bitterly. "Is that what you want to do?" I narrowed my eyes. "I'll make you a deal. I never had a chance to tell your family goodbye. I want to see them. And I want you to stay away from Mari Alice. You promise me both of those things and you can ask me whatever you want to know, and I promise, I will answer it. Fair enough?"

I was so angry. But then, what did he expect? He nodded, meekly. "As long as I don't have to stay away from you."

He was unbelievable. "Suddenly I'm interesting again? Fine. Whatever. But she's just thirteen, I'm sure you've heard her thoughts. It doesn't take a mind reader to tell what she's thinking about you. I can't handle helping her get over you. I won't go through that again with my daughter."

"Bella, I have no interest in your _child_. The _only_ woman who has _ever_ interested me in that way is you." He looked like he meant it. But then, when he'd said goodbye, he'd shown me what a good liar he was. All those months, I'd believed him. Believed that he loved me. All he had to do was turn on the charm and suck me right in.

"And I thought I was just a distraction, and a rather tedious one, at that," I snapped. "You can't still be living here. Someone would have noticed," I said. It was worded as a statement, but he could tell it was more of a question.

He shook his head. "No. My family never came back to Forks. But I come here sometimes. I've listened to Charlie's thoughts to check on you. Of course, that's been more difficult the past few years."

"So I can't see the others, after all," I murmured, unable to stop the sadness from cracking my voice.

"The house is there. It isn't as if we need anything from town. I'll call them. I'm sure they'd enjoy seeing you. They can be here tomorrow, day after at the latest," he assured me.

I smiled. I couldn't believe I'd get to see them. "Would they really come?"

"They'll be glad to see you."

"And Alice should meet Mari Alice," I whispered.

He smiled. "I'm sure they'd all like to meet her, Bella."

I glanced at him, still a little uncertain and whispered, "I'd like that. I'd like that very much." I was crazy. Absolutely insane.

"I'll come back later tonight. After you get back from La Push." And for some reason I couldn't explain, I was looking forward to that.


	3. Déjà Vu

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of New Moon. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie and Be My Escape for their help and patience with this story. They were both so much more than beta readers.

_**Déjà Vu**_

by silly bella

This was different. Somehow, it felt like I was slipping into Charlie's room instead of Bella's. But once inside, it seemed somewhat familiar. And also, quite foreign at the same time. Bella had moved the rocking chair into that room. She'd also brought in a bed that was new. And there on her dresser where three photographs. The largest, an eight-by-ten picture of Bella in a simple white sun-dress and her husband in a suit beside her. She looked happy. Another picture of the same man with a baby in his arms. It didn't take much to determine that the baby was Marietta. The last picture showed Bella, her husband and a very young Marietta on a blanket at a picnic, smiles all around. I swallowed the jealousy. After all, this was what I wanted for her. I couldn't be angry because she found it.

I sat in the rocker and waited, too afraid of what else I might find if I explored more than the surface. I kept reminding myself that her life was happy and normal, but it couldn't stop the wrenching pain I felt seeing her with him in the photos, his arm around her, their easy comfort together. The thought of him touching her, being with her in a way that I never could. The jealousy hurt so much I ached.

When Bella came through the door, it surprised me to find her wrapped in one towel and rubbing another through her hair. She saw me and jumped, accidentally dropping both towels as she screamed, "Holy crow!" I heard her heart beat rush as her cheeks turned crimson. As soon as she realized it was me, she scowled, knelt and grabbed the top towel, which she quickly wrapped around her. Her face remained flushed, but now it was clearly from anger. Her body, covered in droplets of water, made me catch my breath. I felt like a statue, and not just because I was unable to move. I finally forced myself to look away, ashamed that I hadn't done so sooner.

"What are you doing here?" she hissed. Before I could answer, the door opened. I ducked quickly into the closet as Marietta came into the room.

"Mom, you okay?" She paused, probably looking around the room, before she added, "Why did you scream?"

Bella laughed. "I guess I just saw something moving in the window and it startled me." I could hear her pull open a drawer, followed by a soft rustling of clothes. She was putting on her pajamas. "It was really nothing." Her words soothed the panicked thoughts in her daughter's mind.

I heard them both come closer to the bed and sit beside each other. "Mom, are you afraid without Daddy?" The image in her mind was of the same man in the photographs. He held Bella protectively.

Bella laughed. "Daddy sure made it easier not to be afraid, didn't he?"

They were silent for a moment before Marietta spoke again. "What do you mean when you say Daddy saved your life? Neither of you would ever tell me about how you met."

Bella sighed and whispered, "Now really isn't the time for that discussion, sweetheart."

The story interested me. If he saved her from anything, I could only be grateful. _Tell her_, a voice inside me cried out. _Tell her, please._

"Now is as good a time as any," Marietta whispered. "Please tell me, Mom. How did he save your life?" _Why do you always say that, but you never tell me why? Was it something that awful?_

They shifted on the bed. "I always wanted to wait until you were a little older. I wasn't exactly at my best when I met your father." I wondered what she meant by that. Not at her best. How?

"It must have been good enough," Marietta laughed. "He married you."

The images that flashed through Marietta's mind created a deep conflict in my own. Clearly, Bella had been happy. I was grateful for that. But seeing her with her husband, the way he touched her, his arm casually around her, the confidence that it _belonged_ there, the jealousy made my cold heart burn. Unlike Mike Newton, who was never really any threat to her feelings for me, this man had enjoyed Bella's love. He had held her in ways that I could not. He had given her a child. She still wore his rings on her finger, a symbol of his love. But what else had I expected? This was the reason I had left her. So she could live the life I saw through her daughter's mind. I swallowed my pain and listened.

Bella laughed. "He did indeed. But that came later. Although he always used to tease me that he had a soft spot women who couldn't hold their liquor."

That sounded troubling.

Her daughter gasped. "You were drinking when you met him? I thought you were in high school." _So Mom had some wild days._

"I was." Bella sighed. "Drinking and in high school. See why I wanted to wait for this story?"

"Was Daddy drinking, too?" Marietta asked, the shock and disapproval in her voice apparent. It sounded as if the idea of Bella drinking amused her but the possibility of her father having any flawed behavior disturbed her.

"Some, I guess," Bella said. But then she added, almost defensively, "He was a junior in college, so it wasn't the same. I'm not sure that I was in any state to notice. But his fraternity was having party, so I'm fairly sure he had something to drink. I was staying overnight with his roommate's girlfriend on a college visit. They'd run him out of his room and asked him to take care of me. He found me leaving with a couple of guys who'd crashed the party. I was looking for trouble and came pretty close to finding it." She laughed bitterly.

"What does that mean?" Marietta voiced the question that I wanted to ask. Although as I remembered it, Bella never had to go looking for trouble, it always seemed to find her.

"A girl was killed on campus that night," Bella whispered. "Those two guys I was leaving with, they did it. We didn't know that at first, not until after we saw them in the paper after they were arrested and then convicted. When your father showed up to take me back to the dorm where I was staying instead of allowing me to leave with them, he saved me for the first time."

Marietta's relieved thoughts stopped with a jarring statement. "The first time?" she repeated. I leaned against the closet wall, my fists clenched, at the thought of Bella in such danger. Thank goodness he had been there to protect her.

"That was the easy time, saving me from the immediate danger. But it was only the beginning. I was still looking for trouble."

'Looking for trouble.' She kept saying that. What did she mean? Ask it, Marietta. Ask it for me.

"Why were you looking for trouble?" Marietta paused. "What kind of trouble?"

"It wasn't the best time in my life, Mari Alice." Bella stopped abruptly as her voice caught. "I made some horrible choices. I was lucky that I found your father instead of someone who would have taken advantage of my bad judgment." I could make out the pain, the slight tremble in her voice.

"So you're saying he saved you from yourself?" _Way to be melodramatic, Mom. How bad could those choices be?_

"That's as good a way to put it as any." Bella's voice was a mere whisper.

"Mom, what _happened_?" She sounded impatient. Part of me wanted to stop her. I could tell this was hard on Bella. But part of me wanted to listen, to hear every drop of information about Bella's life, no matter how small, no matter how painful I found it.

Bella, still hesitant, finally spoke. "I had a bad breakup, and I thought I'd never love anyone again. I decided that I might not be able to find love, but I could enjoy … other things."

I hung my head. I had driven her to that? The shock of understanding pounded through my body, a physical pain at my guilt.

"What other things?" I could see the expression on Bella's face through Marietta's mind; her exquisite features marred by pain. She really didn't want to talk about this. "You mean like _sex_? _That's_ why you don't want to tell me this story." The child's laughter surprised me. _So Mom was drunk, and she and Daddy slept together the night they met! No wonder he made such a point to tell people I was a honeymoon baby!_

"Sweetheart," Bella's voice quivered momentarily, "there are so many reasons why I don't want to tell you this story."

I was betting one of those reasons was sitting in the closet trying to block out Marietta's thoughts. Had she slept with him that night? Did I really want to know?

"So did you and Daddy start off as a one-night-stand?" How could she ask that?

Bella answered without hesitating. "No, we didn't. He took me back to Carrie's room, and I passed out."

"Carrie? As in Aunt Carrie and Uncle John?" Marietta interjected. Forget about Carrie and John. They don't matter. She passed out. Ask about her passing out.

"Yes, Uncle John was your father's roommate." Answering a neutral question gave Bella a moment to collect herself. She breathed deeply and continued with more confidence. "And Aunt Carrie was the person I stayed with, although I didn't really know her then."

"Okay. Just checking. Continue. So Daddy took you back to Aunt Carrie's room and you passed out…" Marietta held back laughter. She was enjoying this story.

"But apparently, somewhere between the going back and passing out – or maybe afterwards, since I have been known to talk in my sleep – he figured me out. He used to tease me, you know. Talk about how I was looking for trouble, so he decided to be trouble until I decided to look for someone like him instead." Bella paused as if waiting for some response from Marietta. "Imagine that. Your father pretending to be trouble." They laughed together. "He stayed that night, and the next morning I assumed something had happened. He did not attempt to alter that belief. In fact, he contributed to it a little bit. He took me to breakfast and he asked me out. I drank a lot while we first dated. He played the bad boy for a few months while he looked out for me. Finally, I decided that if I was sleeping with someone, I should at least know what it was like, so I decided to switch the order of things one night." She giggled.

"I'll never forget his face when he found me waiting in his dorm room. I hadn't been drinking and I certainly wasn't about to pass out, so he had to 'fess up. I was a little surprised to learn that I was still a virgin. That's when I stopped drinking myself into oblivion every chance I found."

Drinking herself into oblivion? I'd done that to her?

"Is that when you slept with him for the first time?" Marietta asked the question to which I didn't really want to know the answer. I clenched my teeth, waiting for the response. For once, I was glad that I couldn't read Bella's mind.

Her answer came in a shocked tone. "Mari Alice! I can't believe you asked that!"

"Well, is it?" the girl pressed. I shook my head, thinking back to that first night Bella and I had talked, in the car on the way home from Port Angeles. I'd evaded answering some of her questions, but she'd pressed anyway. Like mother, like daughter. I grinned, even though I was afraid of the answer.

"I stayed with him that night, but he was a good Catholic boy. He made it clear there wasn't going to be any real action until I married him." Was she telling the truth? Or cleaning things up for her daughter? Or for me?

"Daddy was that old-fashioned?" There was surprise in the girl's voice. Then the images came. I could understand, as I saw him with Bella in Marietta's thoughts, why she might be surprised at the suggestion of a chaste relationship between her parents. I held my hands to my temples and willed the child to think about something else.

"Your father was exactly the sort of man I hope you fall in love with some day. He respected me; he loved me, and he was _always_ there for me." Bella sighed quietly. Whether she meant it or not, the unspoken was there. I had not always been there for her. I had let her go, and in such a way that left her thinking I didn't love her.

Marietta giggled, "He was always hot for you." More images. I wanted to bang my head against the wall of the closet. There was nothing explicit in them, but it was clear that Bella had enjoyed an active, physical relationship with her husband. In every memory the child had, he seemed to hold Bella, holding her in some proprietary manner. Or perhaps another manner I just did not want to think about.

"That is part of loving each other. A very important part, I might add." I could see Bella's furious blush through Marietta's thoughts.

"What do you miss most about him, Mom?"

The pause was longer than I expected. When Bella finally answered, her voice was the lowest of whispers. "I miss everything about him, sweetheart. Everything. His voice. His touch. Some mornings I wake up and think he's just down in the kitchen making coffee until it dawns on me that he's really gone. And I worry about being enough of a parent for you. He was the one who always knew what to do. I was mostly afraid I might drop you on your head." She stopped speaking and sighed deeply. "And I'm terrified, quite frankly, of the next few years. I was counting on him, you know, to handle the hard things, like scaring the boys away and making sure you stayed out of trouble. I clearly didn't do too well on my own, but I felt that with him around, you'd be protected. I miss that feeling, knowing that you will be secure because he'd never let anything happen to you."

"Mom, I'll be fine," the girl laughed. "Besides, I have you."

"I wouldn't count on me keeping you out of harm's way. I seem to find trouble all too easily. Someone once told me I was a magnet for danger." She spoke that last sentence pointedly. "It was your father who kept me safe. And I can't exactly tell you not to do things with much authority, since I did a few things that I wouldn't want to find you doing."

Marietta sat quietly, evaluating what her mother had said. Finally, she spoke. "Thanks for being honest, Mom. If it makes you feel better, I'll make you a deal. I promise to ask myself if Daddy would approve of anything I want to do. If he wouldn't approve, then I won't do it."

The relief was apparent in Bella's response. "That should get you through life unscathed. I guess he can still take care of you better than I can." They laughed together. Marietta yawned and Bella whispered, "You should get some sleep, baby."

"On my way to bed." I heard them shift on the bed, and then Marietta spoke again. "Goodnight. I love you, Mommy." I heard her lips brush against Bella's cheek before her feet slipped out of the room and down the hallway to her own. I crept out of the closet, not wanting to face Bella, not after the things Marietta had sent through my head.

I found Bella facing out the door, crying softly. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"She hasn't called me 'Mommy' in years. She always called Tony 'Daddy,' but once she started school, I was 'Mom.' It just took me by surprise when she called me Mommy just now," she whispered.

I closed the door and sat beside her on the bed. It felt so right when I wrapped my arms around her. She sobbed quietly as I held her without speaking. I had no idea what to say. All I could imagine was that the voice she wanted to hear wasn't mine, so it was better to say nothing. Neither of us spoke as she cried herself to sleep. I eased her to the bed, but couldn't bring myself to leave. Instead, like so many nights, so long ago, I curled behind her like a spoon and listened to her breathe. I had found my heaven again. At least, it seemed that way until she called out in her sleep. But this was not my heaven; it belonged to someone else. And so did the name she spoke.

"Tony."


	4. Fish or Cut bait

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of New Moon. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Fish or Cut Bait**_

by silly bella

I'd contacted them all. As full of disbelief as they were, they'd come to join me in Forks, although wary of being noticed so close to somewhere we'd lived so recently. I was aware what a danger I was posing to us all. But I had to stay close to Bella. They knew it was important, so they came.

Alice had gone crazy when she learned that Bella had named her daughter after her, and that entirely by accident, the name was really more similar than intended. She'd wanted to buy gifts, but I'd gotten her to hold off for the moment. We were going to have to come up with a good story for Marietta. She was a sharp kid. For now, it would be only Alice and I meeting her. We'd figure the rest out as we went. But Alice was completely absorbed with excitement about meeting her namesake.

Carlisle worried about our exposure, but seemed, along with Jasper, ready to handle any issues that might arise. For the time being at least, we were all staying in the house and avoiding going into town at all, other than me visiting Bella's house.

Esme watched me with a delight that I hadn't seen in years. That probably had more to do with my own behavior than anything else. She felt thrilled to see me excited about something. About anything. And given that it was seeing Bella that had affected me in such a way, she was doubly excited. She kept telling me, "Everything will work out." I wasn't sure how that was possible, but I didn't point that out. No reason to mar her happiness before the inevitable happened.

Rosalie, on the other hand, eyed me disdainfully every chance she had. She'd grudgingly accepted that I loved Bella, but it had taken her more than a decade. She still questioned the depth of my feelings, countering that if I truly loved Bella, there was nothing that would stop me from changing her. She never brought it up any more, but I heard it lurking in her thoughts from time to time. She was skeptical about our return and downright peevish in general that we were here in Forks because of Bella.

Emmett was perhaps the most supportive right now. He wasn't worried about any consequences, and he'd never doubted my love for Bella– or hers for me. And he was patient. I couldn't very well spend every moment at Bella's house, so most of the rest of the time, I spent talking to Emmett.

Today, as we walked along the river for privacy, he was quiet, but he had a chain of questions running through his head. After what he felt was enough time to ponder about Bella and my family, he started with a statement, instead. "It's hard to think of Bella married."

"She _isn't_ married." She's widowed. There's a difference. She _was _married, but she isn't married any more. She is _not_ married. I stared out over the water. I didn't want to think about it too much.

_You can't dodge the truth Edward. Not by playing word games. _Emmett narrowed his eyes. "Well, she _was_ married. You know exactly what I mean. Don't play that semantics game with me." He shifted his gaze, waiting for my response.

"It's a significant distinction. At least, it is for me."

Emmett chuckled. "Because if she were married you'd just spy on her from afar and never let her know you were there? But since she's a widow you can make your presence known?" He'd said it in a teasing tone, but he'd gotten it right. "What does she think of you showing up?"

I frowned. "Right now she's not terribly keen on it. She doesn't quite trust me."

"Trust you can work on." He smiled reassuringly. He paused for a moment before he asked, "Does she still love you?" _Because if she doesn't love you, none of this matters._

That was a possibility I didn't even want to think about. "I don't know. I can't be sure. Sometimes I think she's just tolerating me. Sometimes I think she hates me. But sometimes, when I catch her eyes, I see a glimmer of the way she used to feel, and that's enough for me to keep going back." Or maybe it was just wishful thinking.

"Does she really look the same?" Emmett changed his line of questioning. _How fast do humans age? I've never really paid that much attention._

I hesitated. "If anything, she's more beautiful," I said carefully. I enunciated each word to hide the quiver in my voice.

He seemed surprised. "More beautiful?" _What does he mean by that? That doesn't tell me anything._

"She doesn't look older." I explained. "But she's more…womanly. She has more curves." My mind flashed to the image of her, that first night, when she dropped her towel. I wanted to shut my eyes and see her like that without any distractions. Instead, I concentrated on what Emmett was saying.

"Curves? You mean she's fat?"

"No, she's not fat." I growled with exasperation. Curves didn't mean fat. She was Bella. She was beautiful. She would _always_ be beautiful.

_I didn't mean anything by it. Just asking. _Emmett seemed a little defensive. "Well, she does have kid. Some women get fat." He shrugged.

"I said she's not fat. She's just – she has more curves." And every time I said curves, I thought about them. My reaction was a little uncomfortable. I tried to ignore my thoughts and pay attention to Emmett.

"Oh." He raised his eyebrows. "You mean _that_ kind of curves. So what you're saying is she has the right kind of curves. Like T and A curves." Emmett grinned and gave me a sly look.

"I didn't say anything like that." I clenched my jaw together.

Emmett laughed good-naturedly. "Yeah, but you're thinking it. I may not be able to read minds, but I know you. And I know that look, I just haven't seen it on your face before." He tapped me on the shoulder with his fist. I didn't respond. Instead, I stared at the ground as if something in the dirt fascinated me. "There's nothing wrong with feeling that way about her, Edward. It's natural." _A lot more natural than being a one-hundred-and-twenty-year-old virgin._

I ignored that comment. When I still didn't speak, he changed the subject. "What about her daughter? It's hard to imagine Bella as a mother. Is her daughter clumsy, too?" He seemed fascinated that she had a daughter.

"Marietta must take after her father when it comes to coordination." Her father. Tony. The man Bella called for in her sleep, now. The man who had taken my place and given her everything I couldn't. Maybe I should go back to thinking about Bella dropping the towel.

"I thought it was Mari Alice." _And what's up with that? Did Alice visit her when she went to Biloxi or something? How'd she know?_

"Who knows? Do you really think Alice would own up to it she did? Besides, Bella seemed honestly surprised to learn Alice's first name. And she said she'd never had the opportunity to tell her goodbye. So I think not. I think it's just chance." Everything's just chance. "And Mari Alice is what Bella calls her. She prefers Marietta."

Emmett sat on the bank and waited for me to join him. "So what's she like? Bella's daughter?"

"Marietta is…" I searched for the right words. "Marietta is interesting." And she was. She looked so much like Bella, but I had never known Bella when she was thirteen. For that reason, and for that reason only, she fascinated me. But Bella still wasn't certain about my intentions there.

Emmett glanced sideways at me. "Oh? What exactly do you mean by interesting?"

"She's very…self-confident. Assertive."

He echoed my words. "Bella's daughter is assertive?"

"It's weird." I shook my head thinking about it. "She looks so much like Bella, but the way she acts, it's as if Bella had been possessed by an alien. They're so different. Marietta seems more like a typical adolescent." Emmett snickered. I dropped my head. "And she has a crush on me."

Now he really laughed. "And that's so unlike Bella."

"Well, lately it is." I looked out over the water, watching it rush downstream. The currents fought with each other as they followed their paths. But whatever path they took, it would lead them to the same place in the end. I knew that confusion, that chaos. But I couldn't rely on my destination. "I'm not sure how she feels."

"But she told you to contact us so we can see her." _She knows we're here, doesn't she?_

I nodded. "She seems excited about seeing the rest of you. You and Alice especially." I smiled at him. Before we left, Bella had begun to think of Emmett as a big brother. He had taken to her, as well. She had brought out a soft, protective side of him I'd never seen before. "She's angry that she didn't get to tell you goodbye."

"I told you so," he sneered. _I wanted to say goodbye. Alice wanted to say goodbye. We all wanted to say goodbye._

"Not all." I reminded him gently. Rosalie had been glad to leave Bella. Emmett winced at the reminder. I reminded him that it was my choice, my responsibility. "At the time, I thought it was for the best."

"So you agree now that it wasn't the best idea? Kind of like we tried to tell you it wasn't a good idea at all back then?" I heard skepticism in his voice. But he was right. At least, mostly right.

I pressed my fingers against my temples. "I don't know what I think." My mind was like that water, only there was no downstream. It was more like a maelstrom. A hurricane.

"_You_ don't know what to think? You're the last person I ever expected to hear that from." _That means it's worse than anyone imagined._ He tried to block it the instant it entered his mind, but it was too late. I heard it.

"I don't know what to do, either. I mean, just being around her is like finding a heaven I thought I'd lost." I wrapped my arms around my chest and held tightly. Being around Bella had made me feel whole for the first time since that evening in the woods when I told her goodbye. When I told her… "Even when I can see the anger in her eyes, it's better than not being near her. I just have no idea how to make things better."

Emmett grinned. "Perhaps I can help. You know how temperamental Rose is. I know a lot about making up."

"I'm not sure the same things will work with Bella. If you recall, she never liked for me to buy her things. She never wanted me to spend any money on her at all. It kind of made her mad." I doubted that anything he told me would work.

"I'm just saying, bro, if she's going to be mad at you, it might as well be for sending her flowers this week as for leaving her out of the blue fifteen years ago. Refocus the anger to something you can act on now." He laughed.

It made some kind of crazy sense. "I guess I can see your point."

"And this time you need to figure out whether to fish or cut bait. You can't afford to mess things up again." His voice had changed once more; this was a stern admonition. A warning.

"What exactly does that mean?" I countered.

"It means you decide whether or not you're going to take action or sit on the sidelines." He flashed me a look that left no doubt how he felt. Then he walked away quietly, leaving me to my thoughts. To decide whether I should…fish or cut bait.


	5. Double Vision

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Double Vision**_

by silly bella

I was nervous. I kept fidgeting as I sat next to Edward in the car. I felt excited about meeting Marietta, but continued to get conflicting images of Bella's reaction to our visit. "Sometimes she's happy to see me; other times she just seems angry. I'm not sure what to expect."

"Well, at least in some of the visions she's happy to see you." Edward complained. "I'm not getting that impression at all when I visit. Look at it this way: if she doesn't invite you to dinner, you're ahead of me." He grimaced and muttered, "Chicken," under his breath.

"She invited you to dinner?" I asked. He nodded. "And you ate?" I stared at him incredulously. He nodded again. I couldn't help laughing. "I'd have liked to have seen that!" He smiled bleakly.

He pulled into the driveway and parked the car. Marietta was babysitting, so we'd have some time alone with Bella. He paused for a moment and glanced at me. "You ready?"

I nodded and jumped out of the car quickly. He caught up to me and rang the doorbell. I wanted to jump up and down from excitement. Bella answered the door, biting her lower lip. She was nervous, too. She smiled tentatively. I took that as a good sign and responded immediately, hugging her tightly. Bella laughed and whispered, "I've missed you so much." She hugged me tightly, too. I felt the tension in her body fade. The smile as we pulled apart was more familiar. She grabbed my hand and didn't let go.

We followed Bella into the house. She seemed uncertain how to begin, so I jumped right in. "Edward told me that you have a daughter. That you named her after me." As I listened to her answer, I looked for changes. After all, humans are supposed to change. I'd never been around humans long enough to really notice the aging process, at least, not as far as adults were concerned. Bella just didn't look that different. What I noticed most was the way she carried herself. She seemed stronger, less fragile, more confident. It was apparent in the way she spoke, too.

"Yes. Her first name is Marietta, after Tony's mother. But I insisted on Alice as a middle name. I missed you, and that made it easier, somehow. Most people call her Marietta," she ducked her head sheepishly, "but I call her Mari Alice. It reminded me of you. I missed you so much."

"Did Edward tell you that I learned that my real name is Mary Alice?" I narrowed my eyes and looked at him. I hoped he told her that I didn't want to leave Forks, either. He heard the reproach in my thoughts and looked up at the ceiling, our secret language. Always useful. Good. He told her.

"He mentioned something about that, and it puzzled me." Bella frowned.

I grinned. I enjoyed telling the story, now that I finally had one. "We found the asylum I'd been in. I found out who I was; that I even still have family in Biloxi. There wasn't much, but it was something."

Bella rubbed at her hand, touching the scar where James had bitten her. Remembering, I'm sure, how I'd learned where to look for information about my past in the first place. "I'm glad you found out about your past, who you were." A sadness that she tried, unsuccessfully, to hide crept into her voice.

Edward had noticed. I knew the picture in his mind. Bella, bloody, nearly dead at the hands of that monster. Him, scared he would kill her himself trying to suck the venom out.

_I'm sorry Edward. I'll change the topic._

Talking about my past made me wonder even more about hers. She'd been married! She had a daughter! What was it like to have a baby? I could have asked Esme, of course, but it might have brought back bad memories, so I never had. What had Bella looked like when she was pregnant? "Do you have pictures from when you were pregnant?"

Always the stoic, Edward clenched his jaw. I sighed. _Sorry, Edward. I want to know._

Bella laughed. I wasn't sure if it was due to Edward's grimace or my question. "You sure you want to see those?" I nodded eagerly, and after closing her eyes and shaking her head briefly, she disappeared for a moment, returning with a photo album. I scooted over on the couch so she could sit between us. She sighed uncomfortably then lifted the cover of the photo album. "This starts during spring break senior year. I don't have much before that."

The first few pictures showed Bella with a group, the only girl wearing a tee-shirt over her bathing suit. All of the other girls wore bikinis. Even though she was less exposed than any of them, she seemed the least comfortable. Some of the pictures showed her with an attractive man. He towered over the others, dark, handsome, and clearly possessive of Bella. Or was it just protective? His skin glowed as if kissed by the sun and I knew, somehow, it wasn't just a tan. A gleaming smile and surprisingly blue eyes finished the picture. Tony Baldovino, Bella's Roman god.

Edward shot me a look of reproach. _Sorry. It just popped into my mind. I couldn't help it._ It was evident that Bella had enjoyed the happy life Edward wanted for her. But the fairy tale had ended early. Now Edward had a chance at his fairy tale. The one she once wanted, too.

I glanced at my brother, who wore a carefully guarded visage. An expression he couldn't maintain when Bella turned the page. She'd taken off the tee-shirt to reveal her own bikini. Edward's eyes nearly popped out of his head. Beside her stood the same man, his arm tightly around her shoulders, his head lowered to kiss her cheek as Bella smiled shyly. I'd seen that same stance, that same expression, but under different circumstances. Circumstances where my brother was happy because he was the one beside Bella. I turned the pages quickly, but it was too late.

His lips pressed tightly together, Edward looked like he was about to explode.

_Can you handle this?_

He dropped his chin. It was the slightest movement, but I was looking for it. He glanced up the stairs. That was a yes, meaning he could. Still, I could try to be a little more careful.

Bella looked from one of us to the other. "It's not nice for two people to share secret conversations when a third person's right there," she snapped.

Edward blinked, surprised that she'd caught us.

_She knows you better than you think, Edward._

The pictures that followed showed a range of teen-agers in typical activities, although I did notice Bella didn't seem to have gone to her senior prom. There were a few pictures of her scowling in a mortarboard and robe. Charlie was in some of them. Also Renée and Phil. And the Roman god. Snapshots of Bella wearing a white sundress and a wedding band followed. Bella looked happy, but a little nervous in some office setting, where the two of them stood with a man in a black robe. She seemed a little calmer in the photograph with Tony at a table in a restaurant, obviously taken by a waiter or another patron. I recognized a look of pure longing on Edward's face.

This was agony for him. It was probably a good thing that he couldn't read Bella's mind right now. Perhaps it might be easier if I blocked my thoughts from him. I could sing something to get him out of my head. _Oh, Mickey, you' re so fine. You're so fine you blow my mind. Hey, Mickey. Hey, Mickey._ He rolled his eyes.

Bella wasn't speaking much as we turned the pages. She realized that no narration was necessary. The photographs told their own story. Soon enough, Bella had a tummy bulge that seemed to grow in every picture. There were holiday photos and even a photo of Bella and Renée, profiles of them facing each other, both of them very pregnant. One showed Bella standing with her shirt pulled up to reveal her belly and Tony on his knees, his ear against her skin, as if he were listening for the baby. Both of them looked gleeful, but Bella's smile belied the terrified expression in her eyes. Another picture, one Edward seemed to find particularly enjoyable, was of Bella, a very pregnant Bella, blushing furiously in a bikini. Bella lowered her head and turned the page quickly, only to reveal more photos in similar poses. Bella's real-life blush matched the one in the picture. "I'd forgotten about those," Bella murmured as she turned the page again.

She looked happy. Ridiculously happy. _Oh, Mickey, what a pity, you don't understand, you take me by the heart when you take me by the hand. Oh, Mickey, you're so pretty, can't you understand? It's guys like you, Mickey._

This time, the pictures showed Bella, a very tired looking Bella at that, holding a tiny bundle that must be my name-sake. A smile spread over my face as I saw the next pictures, so many of the baby. The child who was now thirteen and, according to Emmett, had a crush on Edward. This was going to be interesting. Oh, to have Edward's gift instead of mine this afternoon. As it was, right now I didn't need to read his mind to know what he was thinking. That sadness in his eyes revealing his own desires, but his smile beatific, so happy for Bella. He clearly loved her as much as ever. Even enough to be happy for her when that happiness conflicted so much with his own. The corners of his lips turned up, the movement almost imperceptibly. But I noticed and knew that he had acknowledged his agreement. No matter what, he wanted Bella to be happy.

With a sigh, Bella fingered the album. She seemed relieved, at least, for a moment. "Mari Alice will be home soon." She smiled weakly as she spoke. She shut the album and carried it out of the room to put it away. Edward watched her, his eyes riveted to her every movement.

Suddenly, Edward turned toward the door. It opened, and I frowned, as I watched Bella walk in the room. I blinked, and realized that it wasn't her at all. Edward hadn't been kidding when he described Mari Alice. She was taller, but otherwise, mother and daughter looked so much alike. She noticed Edward and smiled. Then she saw me. Her brows knit together, and she gave me a menacing glare as she evaluated my presence.

"Marietta," Edward greeted her. "This is my sister. Her name is Mary Alice, too. But we just call her Alice." He turned to me, grinning. "Alice, Marietta."

She nodded coolly at me but didn't seem too interested. She plopped down between us where Bella had been sitting. I watched her carefully and smiled. This explained my mixed visions. It wasn't just Bella I was seeing; it was Bella and Marietta responding in different ways to seeing me. I peeked around her to grin at Edward. He gave me a bleak smile.

Then Bella returned. She _wasn't_ smiling. Instead, she frowned severely at Marietta then glared at Edward. She really did think Edward was interested in Marietta. Had she been totally blind earlier? His pain had been so clear. Could she not see that Edward had scooted away from Marietta as far as the couch would allow? The situation was clearly worse than I thought. _Does she really think…_

He glanced up, looking out the window and then back down at his hands.

Edward coughed and stood. "Please, take my seat." Bella eyed him suspiciously as she sat. Marietta sulked.

Part of me wanted to snicker at Edward's dilemma. But mostly, I wanted to help him. I just wasn't sure how to do that. I wasn't getting any visions about the situation at all. I suppose that was probably due to the fact that while all three of them seemed to have made decisions regarding the future, none of them had made decisions that were mutually compatible.

Edward shot me a curious glance. I shrugged. _I've got nothing._

I watched Marietta, who'd managed to get past her pout and move on to flirting. She smiled at Edward and fluttered her eyelashes. She tilted her head and twirled her hair. Something about it was familiar, but it had nothing to do with Bella. I'd never seen her behave that deliberately. Bella was guileless, not premeditated.

Marietta hadn't been too interested in me, at first. She'd eyed me suspiciously, long enough to learn that I was Edward's sister rather than a romantic interest. Then she'd pretty much ignored me while she ogled Edward, much to his discomfort, and, I'll admit, my disappointment. After all, she was my namesake. But suddenly, I became a person of interest.

"Mom," she smiled at me conspiratorially, "why don't the three of us go see a movie? That would be a perfect way for me to get to know Alice better." It wasn't _me_ she wanted to get to know better, though.

Edward stopped breathing. He shot an apologetic glance my way, almost stuttered, "Alice and I can't see a movie tonight. We have family obligations. In fact, we probably should be going." He smiled, nervously, at Bella, seeking any approval she might be willing to give him. Seeing her relief, he started breathing again. Marietta scowled, her plan foiled.

_Family obligations. Is that the best you can do? _I restrained my giggle.

"He's right. We really should be going." I wanted to give Bella a hug, but Marietta might wonder about it. Edward had instilled the importance of keeping the past hidden from Marietta. He'd made it clear that telling her was Bella's choice, not ours. I smiled at Bella and managed a surreptitious wink. Edward made awkward goodbyes. I followed him to the door, both Bella and Marietta trailing after us. Edward walked carefully to the car, his composure guarded until he placed the key in the ignition. A glum sigh escaped before he hid behind an emotionless façade.

"Well, one of them is in love with you. Sorry it's the wrong one," I whispered. He didn't respond; he just drove away. Silence marked the ride home.


	6. Hearts and Hands

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Hearts and Hands**_

by silly bella

I watched Bella almost every day. Sometimes I felt ashamed, like some kind of stalker. Most of the time, I didn't care, as long as I could be around her. Even if she never accepted me, I could find some consolation by watching her from afar. I might never be happy, but I might manage a step up from miserable.

She was so beautiful, and clearly, she still didn't understand that. I'd offered earlier in the week to help her as she tried to rein the yard in. Charlie had let it go, other than paying a neighborhood kid to mow in the summer. Yesterday, Bella had tried to take control of the encroaching forest with a weed-eater. Luckily, she wore work boots and some heavy jeans. The wire had whipped around her ankles a few times, but caused no injury. She'd raked and bagged the debris, taking hours to finish what would have taken me a few minutes.

Today, she was cutting back the bushes around the house. The arms of the clippers were nearly as long as Bella's. She was playing it safe, wearing gloves, making precise cuts. It pained me to watch her working so hard, but she'd made it clear that my help wasn't welcome. She should have someone to do the difficult things for her. I wish she would allow me to do that much.

Then I smelled it: the sharp tang of her blood. Had she cut herself? The blades didn't seem to be close enough for that. She hung her head and laid the clippers on the ground. She looked at her palms, shook her head and pulled off the gloves. The smell of her blood became more intense.

Her hands were bloody. Where they weren't bloody there were huge, swollen blisters. That was it. I stopped breathing. Then I left the shelter of the forest, furious at myself for letting things get to this point.

"This is ridiculous. There's no reason for you to hurt yourself like that. You're just being stubborn and childish." I led her into the house. "Where's the first aid kit? The kitchen? Or the bathroom?"

"The bathroom," she answered meekly, although her eyes blazed with anger.

I pointed to one of the chairs at the kitchen table. "Sit. I'll be right back." For once, she listened. Although I guess she figured it was futile not to, since I'd just bring her back. I heard her heart stutter when I held her tiny hands in mine, looking at the blisters with dismay. I'd probably hurt her, but I remembered when my touch had made her heart speed up for another reason. Even the blisters that hadn't popped weren't small enough to just leave alone. At least most of them weren't bloody, just the ones she'd already rubbed open. "I'm going to have to pop these. But it shouldn't hurt much. Then we'll need to clean them."

She sighed impatiently, but didn't resist, although she blanched when I pulled a needle from the kit. I took a cotton pad and some rubbing alcohol and sterilized the needle. She closed her eyes as I punctured the edge of each blister and pressed the liquid out of each hole. Her hands still looked a mess, especially the blisters she'd already opened.

"Now you need to wash your hands. It probably won't feel too good, but it will feel better than an infection." She grimaced at my words, but went to the sink, squirted some liquid soap into her hands, and began to rub them gingerly together under the water from the faucet. When she'd rinsed the soap from them, she patted them dry with a paper towel and returned to the table.

I took an antibiotic ointment from the kit and daubed it on her palms then covered her palms with a gauze pad. I wrapped them quickly with some more gauze. "Don't get the bandages wet. You can take them off before you go to bed. I'll come by and bandage them again each day, after you've showered." She started to protest. I pressed a finger against her lip. "Your other option is the hospital. These can get infected too easily. Someone who knows what to look for needs to check them regularly." I grinned. "Look at it this way: so far, I haven't had a chance to put two medical degrees to any good use. You're doing me a favor by helping me practice what I've learned."

At least she laughed. "It took two medical degrees to learn to do that?" She raised her eyebrows. "My, imagine the substandard care those of us who have doctors who've only made it through one degree have to face. Why, going to a doctor is probably hazardous to your health."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Now for the yard. I offered to help earlier, but you don't have an option now. You can supervise if you want, though." She pressed her lips together in a grim line. I opened the refrigerator and took out a bottle of water. "Come on, boss. You have to tell me what you want done. This way, you won't get thirsty doing it."

"You're going to do what I want? Since when?" she smirked. I deserved that. Even when I did things for her own good, it seemed like it was never what she wanted. Maybe if I'd listened to her more, things would have been different.

Reluctantly, she followed me outside. She watched as I took my shirt off. I didn't catch her, but I could feel it, sense it. What was she thinking? How different I was from her tanned husband?

I wasn't worried about getting hot. That wasn't a factor at all. I just knew that stains from yard work would send Alice into a fit, even though Esme would be the one to clean it. I folded the shirt and placed it on the lawn chair beside Bella. She glared at me. I finished clipping the bushes and raked up the mess. Then I bagged it. She hadn't even had time to finish her water.

"Anything else you need me to do?" I'm not sure why I asked. I knew she wouldn't let me start anything, even if she'd had something lined up for her next chore. She could be so stubborn and independent.

She folded her hands together, careful not to press against her blisters, and stated, "You can go home now."

"Why don't we talk for a while? Then I'll go home. We have some time before Marietta gets back from babysitting." Surely she couldn't argue with that. I washed my hands at the spigot, shook them dry, and returned to put my shirt on.

She pursed her lips and narrowed her eyes. "Or is it that you just want to be here when she comes home?" she said accusingly.

"Bella, how can you think I'm interested in Marietta? She's thirteen," I pleaded. How could I make her understand this? I'd done everything I could to discourage Marietta's crush.

"There isn't that much difference between thirteen and seventeen," she said angrily. Her cheeks burned a delightful shade of red. She looked so beautiful.

This I could counter. I might look seventeen, but I hadn't been seventeen in a hundred years. "We both know I'm not really seventeen."

"I wasn't talking about you. I was referring to when I was seventeen." Her voice was barely a whisper. Her words cut deeply.

I hung my head and sank my chin into my chest. There was no disputing what she'd said. Certainly, compared to someone more than a hundred years old, four years wasn't that big a difference. And even though I had encouraged Bella to stay away from me, told her that I was dangerous, I had been selfish enough to expose her to my world, regardless of her youth.

"Bella, it isn't the same. I am here because of you. Nothing, no one but you could bring me back to Forks." She could be so frustrating. How could I make her understand? "Think about it, Bella. I had no idea Marietta even existed, but I came here. I stood outside your house because it made me feel somehow closer to you. Marietta shocked me."

"But she reminds you of me, doesn't she? And you like that. Young, stupid, and totally enthralled by you." She practically spat the words at me. Anger flashed in her eyes. "I won't let you do this."

"Actually, she doesn't remind me that much of you at all. She looks like you; that's true. And she smells a little like you," I breathed deeply, inhaling her scent. "But not nearly so tempting. But she doesn't act like you. She is young. A child, not a woman like you are. Neither of you are stupid. And if I were to choose one of you to be enthralled by me, it would be you, not Marietta."

She lowered her head and bit her lip. I wished I could tell what she was thinking. "Just go," she said softly. I closed my eyes. She wanted me to leave. She'd never let me back. And why should she? I clenched my teeth and turned to walk away. "I'm supposed to come to the house to see the others tomorrow. Will the blisters be a problem? If not, you can change the dressings then. Or Carlisle can."

I exhaled slowly, relief spreading through my body. I might not have given her any reason to believe in me today, but I would have another chance. I would see her tomorrow. I could keep trying. I _would _keep trying as long as I had another chance to be with her. I turned around. "The blisters shouldn't be too much for anyone. Especially once they're bandaged," I murmured. "I'll let the others know. They can stay upstairs until I finish changing the dressing." Her eyes met mine and she nodded.


	7. The Elephant in the Living Room

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of New Moon. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**The Elephant in the Living Room**_

by silly bella

The door of the Cullen's house opened before I stopped the truck. Even the quiet engine of a more recent model couldn't get past vampire hearing. Emmett barreled through the door headed straight for me, and Alice came dancing out onto the porch. Carlisle waited cautiously at the door. There was no sign of the others; they must have been inside.

Emmett met me at the door of the truck. He didn't let my feet hit the ground. He twirled me around enough to make me dizzy before he tossed me over his shoulder and carried me into the house. "You are a sight for sore eyes," he laughed as he set me down inside the house. I blushed furiously. He frowned then shrugged. "You're a sight for eyes that aren't sore, too." Alice danced beside him, smiling. Rosalie rolled her eyes.

I didn't see Edward, Esme, or Jasper anywhere, but Carlisle was suddenly there, his arm around my shoulder. "It's so good to see you again, Bella. Edward tells me that we have some business to take care of before we have a chance to visit."

Business? What kind of business? I felt confused.

"Let's see those hands, Bella," Carlisle said by way of explanation. I held my hands, palms up, for him to inspect. "I'll get my bag and meet you in the kitchen." He paused and glanced up at the top of the stairs, where Edward stood. It was obvious that they were having a silent conversation. "Unless you'd rather Edward did it."

I remembered the way my heart reacted yesterday when Edward touched me. I knew he'd noticed it, too. He couldn't help it. He could probably hear my heart beating now, even from the stair landing. "It doesn't really matter," I said. But it did matter. I wanted Edward to do it; I just didn't want him to know that I wanted him to do it. Once again, I found myself relieved that he couldn't read my mind. Couldn't tell how much I loved him still, even after he'd made it clear, so long ago, that he no longer loved me. Perhaps had never loved me. I wouldn't allow my mind to wander any farther down that path. Today was supposed to be a happy reunion with the family I had lost.

Carlisle smiled. "Edward, my bag is in my office. Why don't you meet us in the kitchen?" I followed him, knowing he was walking slowly for my benefit. Edward caught up with us and pulled the chair out for me to sit in. Carlisle opened the bag and handed items to Edward, who bandaged them up as deftly as he had yesterday.

When he finished, I whispered, "Thank you." I could barely hear my voice over the thud of my heart. He might not hear my thoughts, but he could hear that. What would he make of it?

"Esme, Jasper, we're finished," Carlisle spoke quietly, but it was more than loud enough for everyone in the house to hear him. "They chose to wait upstairs until we bandaged your hands. They didn't want to take any chances," Carlisle explained.

Immediately, Esme appeared at my side, her arms around me in a warm embrace. Well, warm in emotion. "Bella, it's so good to see you again. We've all missed you so much." I noticed her glance at Edward. "Especially Edward." He ducked his head at this last comment. What expression was he trying to hide? Indifference? Remorse? Did his family really believe he still cared for me?

I found Esme's arm wrapped around me as she steered me back into the living room. Jasper had joined the rest of the family. Alice patted beside her, encouraging me to sit. It felt so strange, yet somehow, so familiar. I joined her on the couch. The space on the other side of me remained conspicuously open as one by one, the other Cullens chose seats. I swallowed nervously when Edward sank onto the couch beside me.

Surprisingly, it was Rosalie who broke the silence. "Edward tells us that you have a daughter. What's she like?" Edward and Alice glared at her. She shrugged. "It's interesting. I want to know."

So. He'd mentioned Mari Alice. Figures. "Well, she's a typical teenager. You've been to high school enough times to know what that's like," I laughed.

"There's a lot of variety there," Rosalie frowned. "What's she really like?"

"She's smart, opinionated and somehow…naïve and precocious at the same time." I gave Edward a meaningful glance before turning back to Rosalie. "And that's when I can figure her out. Tony always had her number, but mostly, at least for me, she's a mystery." Why was Rosalie so interested in Mari Alice?

"And she looks just like Bella. Only taller," Alice chimed in.

Esme looked at her hands fidgeting in her lap, then at me. She smiled. "You're very lucky, Bella, to see her grow up. It's a miracle. Something I missed with all of my children." I thought instantly of the child she had lost. The baby she had barely known. She looked at each of her other 'children' in turn and it was clear how much she loved them. "Of course, I may not have rocked them as babes in my arms or watched them reach maturity, but it doesn't change my love for them." Carlisle reached for her hand.

"I don't know; Emmett was kind of like a baby in the early years. Like a big toddler putting anything in his mouth," Edward teased, his laughter flashing sharp white teeth.

Emmett narrowed his eyes and shot back, "At least I never went through any teenage rebellion, worrying Esme and Carlisle to death."

Even Carlisle snickered at the two of them squabbling.

I couldn't help smiling myself. This was the family I had loved. Still loved. The family I had wanted to join. I'd been worried that things might feel awkward, but it was as if time had stood still. And in some ways, it had. Each of them looked exactly the same. I, of course, couldn't say the same. I realized, with some dismay, that at least in one way, I was the oldest person in the room. My smile disappeared.

"What is it, Bella? What's wrong?" Edward had noticed the change in my expression the instant it occurred.

"I was just thinking," I murmured. He sighed, frustrated.

"That drives him crazy, you know." Rosalie was laughing. "That he can't hear it. That he has to ask what's on your mind, and that you can actually keep things private from him. That's a challenge to the rest of us. But it's fun to watch him struggle when he wants to know what's on your mind." He flashed an angry glare at Rosalie, who was reveling in his discomfort.

Beside her, Emmett grinned at me. I had to struggle to keep my mouth from dropping open. Rosalie had never said that much _to_ me. It sounded cordial, too. I wasn't sure what to think. "I used to tell him." I cast a nervous glance beside me, taking in Edward's response to the conversation. "I'm not sure he wants to know what I'm thinking these days."

He scowled. "I told you before. I always want to know what you're thinking. But sometimes I wish you were thinking something else."

We sat in uncomfortable silence for a moment.

"And Charlie? How is he?" Carlisle asked, filling the void.

I sighed and shook my head. "On one level, he's fine. He's happy. But it's sad to see him. When I take Mari Alice, he inevitably thinks I'm Renée and Mari Alice is me. He's happy to see us both. But it's really hard on Mari Alice. She doesn't go often because of that. And sometimes he recognizes me. Those are really good days."

Thankfully, Emmett changed the subject. "So what's Florida like, Bella? I've never been there. It was kind of a long trip from the mountains of Tennessee when I was a human and kind of sunny after I became a vampire." His chuckle comforted me.

"It's warm," I shrugged, blushing. "And sunny. The ocean is nice. Not as cold as here. The waves aren't as rough, either, even on the Atlantic side. The gulf side is really gentle. It was nice. I learned to sail." Emmett looked at me skeptically. I nodded in deference. "Well, I learned to ride on a sailboat without falling into the water or getting in the way of the people who did know how to sail." Everyone laughed.

"It sounds like a lovely place to live," Esme said quietly. "Do you miss it?"

I frowned. "I lived in three places over thirty years. Oddly enough, each of them feels like home to me."

"How does your daughter feel about it?" Carlisle asked.

"She misses her father." I cringed. "She doesn't really have any room in her heart to miss anything else. She's always been a daddy's girl."

Carlisle directed his gaze briefly in Edward's direction, but by the time I looked beside me, Edward's face was stone. It was Carlisle's voice that drew my attention away from Edward. "He was a firefighter?" I nodded. "Edward says that he sounds like a good man."

Perplexed, I turned to Edward. I hadn't mentioned anything about Tony to him. At least, not anything that he hadn't overheard that night in my closet.

He winced. "Marietta thinks about him a lot. And I hear what she's thinking." He shrugged. "It sounds like he was a good husband and father. He's her hero."

I couldn't help smiling. "He was a firefighter. I suppose that made him a lot of people's hero. She was always proud of that. He rescued a lot of people." I swallowed and hoped I could keep the tremor out of my voice. "That's how he died. He managed to help a woman and her children escape from their burning apartment, but the ceiling fell in on him before he could get out. I worried about Mari Alice with all the media coverage, but it may have actually helped her deal with his death. She could see something good, that his last act had been to save three people, and it softened the blow a little bit." Alice patted my arm reassuringly.

"Did he have family? They must have been a comfort to you," Esme murmured. "You must miss them."

I grinned at the irony in her statement. "He had a big family, and they didn't want us to leave Florida. They certainly weren't keen on us moving to the other side of the continent."

Emmett raised his eyebrows. "But…" He tilted his head. "There is a 'but' in there somewhere, isn't there?"

"I was never very close to his family. I wasn't exactly the wife his mother imagined for him. And then when Mari Alice was born, well, his mother and his sisters thought we'd married because I was pregnant and blackmailed him into marrying me." I clasped my hands together to keep them from shaking. I could see Edward's hands clenched in his lap beside me. I couldn't look at him. I fixed my eyes on Emmett, whose expression had darkened considerably. "Of course, I can't really hold that against them. That was my mother's first reaction, too." I laughed nervously.

"They didn't like you?" Emmett seemed puzzled.

This time I laughed. "I was, I guess, another way that Tony was rebellious. The black sheep. I'm not sure which was worse, actually, that he married me or that he became a fire fighter."

Carlisle frowned. "Why did they have a problem with him becoming a fire fighter? It's a noble profession and a public service."

"His family believes in public service. But the public service of choice is law enforcement. His great-grandfather was a police officer. His grandfather and two great-uncles were police officers. His father, an uncle and seven of his father's cousins were police officers. Three of his sisters are police officers and two more are married to police officers. The only other wayward sibling is his younger sister, and she's a lawyer on the district attorney's staff." I shrugged. "I thought that Charlie being police chief might at least make me a little more palatable. I think it helped with Tony's father. But even that couldn't budge the rest of them."

Emmett shook his head. "I still can't believe they didn't like you. That must have been tough on family occasions."

"It was a little intimidating. I always felt a little awkward. You know, out of place," I sighed.

Alice giggled. "_They_ were intimidating? Even after meeting us?" Even Edward chuckled.

"But they didn't like me. It was different," I tried to explain.

"You felt more comfortable with monsters than with your husband's family?" Rosalie asked in disbelief.

I shrugged. "I guess so. I just tried to remind myself that they couldn't be _that_ bad. They were, after all, Tony's family, and _somehow _they made him the man he was. That made it easier."

Rosalie stared at me as if I were insane. Emmett scowled, obviously still angered by what I'd said. Esme looked away. I turned to Alice, who averted her eyes and lowered her head. Jasper leaned sinuously against the wall, his expression pensive. Carlisle watched Edward carefully. I couldn't bring myself to look at Edward, but I couldn't help noticing his hands clenched so tightly the skin seemed ready to burst from the strain. The room was silent. No one seemed to have any more questions.

Talk about uncomfortable. I hadn't planned on talking about Tony. I never realized that Edward knew so much about him. I felt like the proverbial elephant in the living room. I caught Jasper's eye. He'd been very quiet so far. He still didn't speak, but a broad smile spread across his face. It didn't reach his eyes, not until I smiled back. I wanted him to know I wasn't angry, at least, not at him. Suddenly, the tension lifted from the room. Relieved, I let out a deep breath. The hard part was over. Now I could _almost_ relax.


	8. Jealousy

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Jealousy**_

by silly bella

"You've been in a lovely funk since Bella left," I hissed through the crack in the door, shutting it as I saw him reaching for the lamp. Seconds later it crashed against the door. Edward might have near-perfect control of his bloodlust, but he had some real anger issues.

"I don't want to talk, Emmett." His voice was sharp, curt.

"Then listen," I snapped. "That might be a nice change. You wouldn't be in this situation if you'd listened to me in the first place." Warily, I slipped through the door. Edward lay on the floor staring at the ceiling. The room was dark, but that might just be because he'd thrown the lamp. I sat on the floor beside him.

"Go away. Leave. Me. Alone." He enunciated each word carefully. "Talking won't help with this. Neither will listening."

He still wouldn't look at me. "It could have been worse," I stated frankly.

"And how might that be?" he asked.

"She sat beside you," I grinned.

He turned his head to stare at me. "Technically, I sat beside her. She just didn't move."

"Fine. So she didn't move." I shrugged. "That's something."

"She hates me, Emmett." He shut his eyes tightly, as if somehow that would make his pain go away. "She hates me."

I didn't speak at first. I tried to imagine Bella hating Edward. That wasn't the Bella I knew. True, I hadn't spent time with her in fifteen years. But she seemed like the same old Bella, blushing, tripping. "What makes you think she hates you?" I asked, curious. Edward tended towards melodrama.

"When we left, I knew she'd move on, eventually. But I never dreamed she'd find someone to love so quickly." He kept his eyes closed, his face immobile, expressionless.

"Wasn't that what you wanted? Isn't that why we left in the first place?" Edward didn't always make sense.

He growled. "I didn't want to hear about her hero husband."

"That's just plain jealousy," I teased.

"You want to hear me say it?" He glared at me. "Yes, I'm jealous. I'm jealous of her fireman hero husband. I'm jealous that he could marry her. I'm jealous that he could make love to her. I'm jealous that he could be the father of her child. I'm jealous that he had fourteen years with her. I'm jealous that she has his name. It's everything I imagined that day in biology, and it's so much worse." He spat out the words with ferocity and didn't even bother to hide his anguish behind the emotionless mask he reserved for occasions like this.

"The fact that you're jealous doesn't mean she hates you, you know." This was hard on him. I couldn't imagine how I might feel under the same circumstances. But the Bella I knew, the Bella I still thought of as a sister, could never hate him. She couldn't have changed _that_ much.

Edward grimaced. "You have no idea. She actually thinks I'm interested in her daughter. Trust me, not only does she hate me, she'd like to kill me."

I couldn't help but laugh at that idea. "Well, I can't say I haven't felt the same way. In fact, I think everyone in this family has wanted to kill you at one time or another. Do you think we all hate you?"

"That's different," he complained and sighed in frustration.

"No, it isn't," I shook my head as I spoke. "And if you want an even better parallel, what about Rose? She wants to kill me sometimes. She never has. Because she _loves _me. And her temper is much worse than Bella's."

"Emmett, were you in the same room? She didn't even want to look at me!" Then he pouted. I swear, he pouted. Like a supermodel. I had to struggle to keep from laughing. "And why would she want to look at me? She's finally figured out I'm a monster. And then there's Tony. He probably had to shave twice a day. And I hardly had to shave at all."

What in the hell was he talking about? "What does shaving have to do with anything?"

"Heroic Tony. Golden-tanned Tony." He groaned and rolled over, covering his head with his arms. "Even Alice called him a Roman god."

"Might I remind you that he's also dead Tony? And in his case, I'm talking really dead, not walking around dead like us." I waited for a response. Nothing. "Perhaps you could tell me why she thinks you have the hots for the kid."

At least he answered that. "I have no idea." He rolled back over and pulled himself up into a sitting position. "I just don't understand it. I try to see Bella when Marietta isn't there. I've done everything I can to avoid encouraging her, short of being rude."

"Maybe you should focus less on trying to convince Bella you aren't there for Marietta and more on proving to Bella that you're still interested in her," I suggested. "Did you ever send her the flowers?"

He stared at me. "I don't think Bella would like flowers. She never wanted me to buy her anything."

"Earth to Edward." Sometimes he could be so dense. "If you bought Bella some flowers, she might not be thrilled about it, but it might give her some idea of how you feel if the flowers are addressed to her and not to Marietta."

"Yeah, and if Marietta sees the cards, she will wonder about it, and Bella will be upset about that. She's made it clear she doesn't want to explain any history to Marietta." He was full of excuses, and they weren't even good.

"Send them anonymously." He wasn't even trying. "But write something on them that will make it obvious to Bella that they are from you. Something romantic. Try some Shakespeare. Romeo and Juliet. Sonnets. She's an English teacher; she'll like that. And she knows you like that." Damn, I wish I'd gotten that degree in psychology back in the 70s. At least depressed humans can take Prozac.

His head sank to his chest and he moaned, "I don't think she'd like anything to do with me."

"You'll never know unless you try. And what's your other option? Lie there on the floor and wallow in self-pity?" Wrong question. His only answer was to roll onto the floor again, curled into a little ball.


	9. Insecurity

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Insecurity**_

by silly bella

Thankfully, Emmett had disappeared. If he thought I had a chance with Bella, he was delusional. I wrapped my arms around my head trying to silence the noises around me, the thoughts of my family. It didn't work. I heard the rain, the drops shimmering over the leaves of the nearby trees in a musical rhythm. The rain sounded happy, as if it were laughing at me. But worse than that was the pity from my family.

_Poor Edward. This is killing him. How can he go through eternity like this?_ That was Esme, always worrying about me. I had caused her so much pain over the course of the years.

_My son. I've never been sorry I saved him; I can only be sorry that nothing within my power can help him now. _Carlisle's sympathetic compassion.

_This is my fault. If I'd only had better self-control._ Yet another variant of Jasper's unceasing guilt.

_I wonder if Carlisle knows any vampire shrinks?_ What was with Emmett wanting me in therapy?

_We cannot go through another fifteen years of this._ Rosalie. Obviously.

_Quit wallowing, Edward. _Alice. _I'm sorry about the pictures. _

The pictures. The agony. Bella. That man. Her husband. Tony. Touching her. The wedding pictures. Bella. Pregnant. Another man's child growing inside her. Bella's baby. The child I could never give her. I couldn't keep the images out of my mind. They rolled, over and over, a continuous reel. I knew there would be others that I hadn't seen. Others that only made this torture worse. I'd thought that nothing could exceed the pain of my changing, but I was wrong. This was worse, so much worse.

What if I had been human, now, in this century, instead of my own? Could I have shared that life with her? Would she have let me hold her warm body? Would she have worn my ring? Carried my child? I imagined myself in her pictures. Me, beside her. Me, touching her belly, feeling our child kick for the first time. Bella, her stomach round and ripe, so beautiful. A miracle within a miracle. Me with Bella, holding our child. Could that have been?

I drew in a deep breath and exhaled slowly. This activity certainly wasn't helping anything. In fact, it increased the futility of my existence more than ever. I had lost her. No, I had given her away. Of my own free will I had walked away from the only thing in my life that ever mattered. I had created my own personal hell. And the only thing that made it bearable, the only thing that allowed me to persevere, was seeing her, even if she hated me.

She had lived a happy life. A safe life. A life she never would have had with me. I had at least given her that. That was some comfort. It might be the only comfort I would ever have. But she had not sent me away. Not yet.

Was it possible, no matter how remotely, that Emmett was right? Could it be true? And how could I find out if it were? He'd said to send her flowers, but I didn't think that would work with Bella. She didn't like gifts. It might make her mad. But even if the flowers made her angry, might they alleviate her concerns that I wanted Marietta? Perhaps Emmett was onto something. It might distract her, target her irritation to something more positive if she had to be irritated at something at all. And even if it didn't work, it couldn't possibly make me more of a pariah where Bella was concerned.

I could send her flowers. I could tell her everything I felt for her in lush, fragrant blossoms. I could sign them only with words that expressed my deepest emotions. She would _know_ I loved her, only her. That I always had. I could hope. At least, I could try.


	10. The Competition

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**The Competition**_

by silly bella

When I stopped by Bella's house that afternoon, Marietta was home. Not good. Not good at all. If I'd listened long enough to check first, I would have known. I'd been so eager to stop by after waiting most of the week for the flowers to arrive. I wanted to see if Bella liked them, which she probably didn't, in which case it was all a waste of time. Then Marietta answered the door, and I was stuck.

"Mom has a date," she stated, rolling her eyes. She made a face that showed her distaste for the situation. _I hate him. He's such a loser._

Bella had a date? She hadn't mentioned it. She hadn't mentioned anyone. Surely she would have said something. Or maybe not. Perhaps, as far as she was concerned, it wasn't any of my business.

Inside, the house was filled with flowers. I passed a crystal vase with dark red tulips at the door. A potted paphiopedilum orchid arched over the mantle. On the other side of the mantle was a simple vase filled with daffodils. Deep blue irises with sweet peas, honeysuckle and jasmine erupted from a vase atop a bookcase. A lower shelf contained a crystal bowl of ranunculi. On the kitchen table was a ceramic pitcher filled with heliotropes, red heather, asters and white zinnias. A huge display of birds-of-paradise overwhelmed the end table by the couch. A potted violet sat on top of the television. A majolica bowl filled with potted pansies sat on a stack of magazines on the coffee table. A potted camellia held the back door open like a doorstop, allowing the fresh scent of the rain into the room through the screen. A creamy china vase on the counter held poppies. I couldn't see any of the roses, the second bunch of tulips, or the lilies-of-the-valley. She must have put them upstairs. Mission accomplished. At least she hadn't thrown them out. I was proud of myself.

"I think he's been sending her flowers all week," Marietta muttered. "They've been arriving at least twice a day, sometimes more often. They're in the bathroom, in her room, all over the house. It's disgusting. The cards are all anonymous and have mushy poetry that Mom recognizes, but they started arriving when he came to Washington." _He tries to impress Mom with money. He thinks he's better than Daddy because he's some hot-shot engineer. I hate him. I hate his stinking flowers, too._

But _I _sent Bella the flowers. I didn't sign the cards because I didn't want to take chances on Marietta seeing my name the card. Bella thought the flowers were from someone else? Someone who was taking her on a date? I'd picked them out so carefully, putting together arrangements that would look pretty together and send the right message. Not to mention the time I spent matching up the poetry. After all of that, this guy was getting the credit for my effort? Apparently, I couldn't hide my shock.

"You look like you could use something to drink," Marietta said, being a good hostess. Bella had entered the room by then and laughed. "I was just telling Edward about your date," Marietta smirked. _With the dweeb. Why did he come to Washington, anyway?_

"It's not a date. When your thirteen-year-old daughter is there with you, it isn't a date. Trust me." Bella rolled her eyes.

I noticed that her hands, although still rough from the blisters, had no bandages on them. I hadn't seen her since she visited my family more than a week ago. Carlisle had treated her. It had taken a week's worth of flowers for me to manage the courage to see her again, and every moment away from her had been agony.

Marietta crossed her arms and gave her mother a sly smile. "Well then, what is it?" _Because I would sure like to know why he's here when he should be back in Florida._

"It's your _Uncle_ Gary." She used a different intonation when she said uncle. Was that good or bad? "He was in Seattle for a conference and wanted to come see us before he headed back to Florida." Bella sighed impatiently.

"Mom, I _hate_ Uncle Gary." _Scary Gary is more like it. I really wish he'd stayed in Florida._ "Do I really have to stay for dinner?" She paused, eyed me speculatively and grinned, "Edward and I could go see a movie."

"You most certainly cannot." Bella's angry eyes flashed at me. Why did she think that was _my_ fault?

"Then can Edward at least stay for dinner?" _Then there'll be someone I can talk to while I ignore Scary Gary._

Oh, no. Not more chicken.

Bella thought for a moment. She caught my eye, but I didn't recognize her expression. It wasn't anger, so I must be moving up on her scale a little. Maybe dinner wouldn't be so bad. It would give me a chance to check out the competition. "Sure. If you'd like." She sounded nervous.

Maybe this wasn't a date, after all. "If you're sure…" I began.

"It's fine." The words were no nonsense. There wasn't much I could possibly read into them.

I nodded. What did it mean if she was nervous? That could be good or bad; I wasn't sure. Marietta smiled. _I hate Scary Gary. I hate being here._ _But it can't be all bad if Edward gets to stay._ At least she was sure about how she felt about it. I still had no idea how to deal with her crush, but I needed to do something to correct that. Soon.

"So, what's for dinner?" I asked, already planning of ways to dispose of it without having to eat it all like the last time.

"Mom's making my favorite – chicken piccata. You'll love it. She's a great cook," Marietta offered enthusiastically. Perfect. It _was_ more chicken. Bella chuckled softly. At least my future discomfort seemed to take her mind off her nervousness.

"Why don't you set the table, Mari Alice?" Bella asked.

"Yes ma'am," Marietta murmured as she began to take the dishes out of the cabinet.

Charlie's old table and mismatched chairs were gone. When Bella had moved in, she'd brought a few bits of furniture. A table and matching chairs had been one thing that was new. Bella gestured to them and said, "Have a seat, Edward. It won't be long."

I noticed both of them were wearing jeans and simple cotton tee-shirts, so it clearly wasn't a formal event. I watched Bella carefully. Why had she decided to invite me to stay? Was it to persuade me to back off because there was someone else? Was it to rub him in my face to show me that she could move on? Who was I kidding? She still thought I returned Marietta's interest. She refused to believe that I cared for her and her alone, and that I always had.

Then the doorbell rang. I could sense the tension in the room ratchet up about one-hundred percent. Marietta frowned. Bella took a deep breath. The doorbell rang again. "Would you like me to answer that?" My voice was low. I really didn't want to. Bella smiled and nodded. Marietta flashed me a nasty look. _Traitor._ She had no way of knowing that I wanted him here even less than she did. The doorbell rang again.

So, very much against my will, I opened the door. He looked me directly in the neck. I felt some grim satisfaction that I stood several inches taller than he did. _Whoa. Who's the kid? He's too old for Marietta. Are his parents here, too? I was looking forward to being alone with Bella. Or at least just having the kid here. The girl will have to get used to me, anyway, if things work out like I hope they will. They'll have to come back to Florida though._

"Hi. I'm Edward." I smiled and held out my hand. It might have appeared cordial and polite, but it wasn't. Not really. His hand shot out automatically, surprising me, since humans instinctively shy away from my kind. This yahoo must be pretty sure of himself. I narrowed my eyes and squeezed his fingers tightly. Certainly not as tightly as I could, but tight enough to make him wince.

_Damn. What a grip._ _Must be an athlete._ "Gary," he nodded politely. _Where's Bella? Whatever she's cooking smells good._

He was dressed in khakis and a collared knit shirt. He had, in his left hand, some vegetation in a plastic wrapper. Something about them smelled… off. Was that an undertone of gasoline? He'd stopped at the gas station to buy a gift for her? It would have been more romantic to stop and pick something from the side of the road. At least they wouldn't smell like petroleum. He stepped inside and glanced around the room. _Who sent all these flowers? How many guys is she seeing? Is that why she moved here to Washington? Some old boyfriend? Or boyfriends, from the looks of things._ He grinned weakly. "I guess she likes flowers," he whispered to me conspiratorially. I shrugged. Bella's stance on blooming cornucopia around her was still to be determined. If it was good, I was ahead of Gary and his gas station bouquet – if she knew the other floral arrangements were from me. If it was bad, well, maybe she didn't know they were from me. Or maybe Emmett was right.

Bella appeared in the doorway. _I wish she'd worn something with a real neckline. She's got a nice rack._ How dare he? I clenched my jaw audibly, forming a severe line with my lips. I knew my eyes would be black with anger. Gary swallowed then smiled nervously. "I brought flowers."

"Those are lovely. Let me get something to put them in." She took the flowers and headed back into the kitchen. Gary watched her walk away, his gaze a little too low for my liking. _I'd tap that. _He was even more vile than Mike Newton. I wanted to kill him. Not to feed on him, just to kill him. As painfully as possible.

Bella whispered to Marietta, just loud enough for me to hear, and Marietta appeared at the doorway and said, "Hi, Uncle Gary." She certainly didn't seem happy about it. _Why are you here?_

"Hi, kid," he spoke casually. He nodded to me. "This your boyfriend?"

Marietta glanced at me and grinned. _I'm working on that._

I had to say something to dissuade her. "Our families are old friends. I just happened to stop by."

"And wrangled an invitation to dinner?" Gary winked at me. _I know how it is. When they're that much younger than you are, you have to take what you can get when you can get it. Once you have a few more years, age doesn't matter so much._

I wondered how this guy knew Bella. He watched her greedily when she returned to the room. _She still looks hot. Almost as good as when she and Tony were dating._ An image passed through his mind. An image I had mixed feelings about. It was Bella, on a boat in the sun. She wore a bikini, skimpier than anything I'd ever thought she'd wear. While I enjoyed the view, I didn't like it in his head. I felt the growl rising in my throat and coughed to hide it.

Bella carried the vase of flowers back into the room. She sniffed them and her face screwed up as if she'd tasted a lemon. Obviously, she'd noticed the gasoline smell. She rolled her eyes as she set them next to the daffodils on the mantel. They looked kind of sad sitting next to the arrangement I'd chosen for her. I think she'd noticed the gasoline smell, too. She glanced at me and smiled before she looked away. She knew the rest of the flowers were from me. She knew, and she didn't seem to be angry. She seemed to be amused.

Dinner was ready, so we sat at the table and Bella served the food. This time she didn't give me a 'growing boy's' portion of chicken. The four of us in the tiny kitchen made for close quarters. I didn't mind, as it meant I was close to Bella. I glared at the loathsome wretch across from me. What was the little twit saying? "Don't you have anything stronger than this iced tea?" Bella shook her head. "I was looking forward to a good drink. You sure you don't have anything?" _Who is she trying to fool? Maybe she doesn't want alcohol around the kid._

Again, images passed through his mind. Still Bella on the boat, but this time, she'd clearly been drinking and had graduated to sharing body shots with someone I could only assume was Tony. I shut my eyes tightly then realized that wouldn't make the image go away because I was seeing it in my mind. Bella glanced at me and frowned, her expression questioning. I swallowed and shrugged. Gary's lewd memories were more excruciating than eating chicken. I wasn't sure how I was going to make it through a whole meal. Did she really like this jerk? He was so much worse than your garden variety pervert.

Marietta wasn't talking. She picked at her food. Her mind voiced a steady barrage at Scary Gary: _I hate you, I hate you, I hate you…_

"Bella, I was hoping to take you to dinner while I was here." _And have some time alone, just the two of us_, Gary finished to himself. "So how about it? Dinner and movie tomorrow?" _Maybe the kid will be busy. I'd be more than happy to float this guy some cash to take her off my hands._

What made this cretin think I needed his money? I wasn't the one buying flowers from the gas station.

"Ed, isn't it? You have something planned with Marietta for tomorrow?"

I hated it when people called me Ed. Number five-hundred-and-seventy-two on my list of reasons to despise him. "It's Edward, not Ed." I paused. Hope filled Marietta's eyes as she waited for my response. Anger filled Bella's. Marietta bounced anxiously in her chair. _I can cancel my babysitting job._ "I have other plans tomorrow. Tonight was a last-minute invitation."

Gary nodded. "What about you, Bella?" _I guess I'll have to include the kid. _"Marietta?"

"I'm babysitting for the Newtons," Marietta offered quickly. _I hate you. I hate you. I hate you…_

"So, I guess it's just us, then, isn't it, Bella?"_ YES! It's a date. _ I wanted to rip the smirk right off the rodent's face. Right before I shoved this barbarian headfirst through the wall. Dinner and a movie as a date? What was he, fifteen? Of course, this boor was going somewhere with Bella and I'd be home without her. I couldn't say much.

Bella smiled. I couldn't read her expression. Was it merely polite? Could she really be looking forward to a date with such a boor? I felt the familiar frustration. I'd have given almost anything to read her mind.

"So, Ed, you said something about being old family friends. Does that mean you've always lived in Forks?" _I've sealed the deal. May as well make polite conversation._

"I really prefer to be called Edward," I enunciated slowly and clearly for the idiot. I noticed Bella lowering her head to hide a chuckle at my expense. "And no, I haven't always lived in Forks. My family has moved around quite a bit." The lout didn't really care about my response, just as he didn't care about most of the conversation. All this inhuman wretch seemed to care about was ogling Bella.

For the most part, dinner was uneventful. Scary Gary flashed me several more disturbing images. Marietta became more and more sullen but kept up her pattern. _I hate you. I hate you. I hate you._ Bella remained unreadable. Eventually, the dolt figured out my name was Edward. That may have been the best thing about the evening. Bella looked like a teenager, her daughter was a teenager, and Gary acted like a teenager. It felt a lot like I was in high school again.


	11. Missed Messages

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Missed Messages**_

by silly bella

I hadn't expected the car in her driveway when I stopped by her house last night. I'd planned to slip in and watch her sleep, but when I saw his car, I was afraid of what I'd find. I didn't listen. I didn't want to hear it. I didn't want to think about it. So I ran. Eventually, I found myself in the meadow. I lay there until dawn, remembering the day I brought Bella here before considering the implications of Gary's barbaric presence at her home. It was one thing to know that she had married. That she and her husband had created a child. That I could never touch her that way. I could never give life; I could only take it. It was entirely another thing to imagine someone like Cro-Magnon spending the night with her. I had never felt so cold, right through to the core of my being. I knew it wasn't the rain.

If this was her choice, I would accept it, but I didn't have to like it. It was, as I had said to her so many years ago, exactly what was to be expected. She'd moved on, far, far beyond me. I couldn't stand in her way. But I didn't have to leave, either. She might never see me, but I could watch over her. I could learn to face the idea of her with someone else. As long as I could be around her, see her, hear her voice, smell her. It would be my penance. Resolved to my future, I ran home in the drizzle.

Emmett gave me the once over when he saw me. "You look rode hard and put up wet," he laughed. "I thought you were going to Bella's."

"So did I. Change of plans," I muttered darkly. He was about to ask me something else when his cell phone rang. I started up the stairs, but stopped abruptly when I heard Emmett speak.

"Sure, Bella. What do you need?" He glanced over his shoulder at me. _Why didn't she call you?_

I shrugged and listened to the phone call instead of waiting to hear it in Emmett's mind. It hurt that she asked Emmett instead of me, yet I was still glad that she felt comfortable enough with my family to call them for help.

"It's a small favor, but I'd really appreciate it. I need a ride. You can drive my truck." Her voice sounded strained.

_It sounds like a bigger deal than she's letting on._ "My car is fine. I can drive it," Emmett laughed.

"Do you still drive a giant SUV?" The tension in her voice went up a notch. I smiled. She'd always been a bit uncomfortable with Emmett's Jeep. Maybe it was associated with bad memories.

I laughed along with Emmett. "I still have a giant SUV, but I'll bring a car instead. When do you want me to pick you up?"

"You don't have to pick me up," she murmured. "Just follow me. And give me a ride home." She didn't go into any detail.

"I do have one question." He paused and glanced at me. "Why not ask Edward?"

"Because you look scarier than Edward." She began to explain, to qualify her answer. "Not that he _can't _be scary. All of you _can _be scary. But I need someone who can look really scary without trying too hard."

"So I'm going to be your muscle?" Emmett grinned. He liked the sound of that. "What if Edward comes, too. And looks scary with me?"

"Sure. That's fine." She sighed. I wasn't sure if that was a good or a bad sign. I couldn't help but wonder why she needed someone scary. Emmett certainly fit the bill. If Jasper and Alice hadn't been hunting, we could have taken him, too.

Emmett checked the clock. "When do you want to leave?"

"Whenever you're ready." It didn't sound like she wanted to wait. It seemed rather urgent, in fact.

"We'll be there in a few minutes." He snapped the phone shut and barked, "I know you heard, so you better put on something dry so we can go. She's waiting."

I didn't bother denying it. I just changed as quickly as I could so we could leave. Bella was waiting on the porch when we arrived. The pervert's car was still there. I tried to ignore it. Why hadn't she asked the creep to do this? That's right, she needed muscle. Puny little Gary certainly wasn't that. She seemed anxious, agitated. Emmett broke the silence, "What's wrong, Bella?"

"Can we talk about it on the way home? I just want to get this over with." She played with the keys as she spoke.

Emmett seemed a little stunned at her words. I stepped forward and reached for her keys. "Let me drive. You can ride with Emmett if you don't want to ride with me. You can explain it to him."

She laughed and covered the keys with her fist. "I don't think so. I'd like to stay mad for this. Let's go. If we get separated, we're headed to the Manitou Lodge Bed and Breakfast. Do you know where we're going? Cell phones won't work there, so if we get separated, you can't call for directions."

"We can find it, Bella," Emmett assured her then glanced at me. It was difficult to imagine that she thought there was anywhere near Forks that we didn't know. It was about five miles from La Push. Closer than any of us liked to go to the reservation. But it wasn't land prohibited by the treaty, so this was safe. It surprised me when she climbed into the jerk'scar. We followed closely. I had no idea that Bella drove so fast. It didn't take long to reach the bed and breakfast. She parked the car and we pulled in beside her. She stepped out quickly, clearly still angry.

After we climbed out of Carlisle's sedan, Bella gave us our instructions. "Just stay here by the car and look mean. I'll be right back." She made her way into the main lodge and came back outside just as quickly. She stopped near the edge of the steps apparently waiting for something.

Then Scary Gary came out of the lodge. Gary came _out _of the lodge.The lout didn't stay overnight at Bella's. She drove the jerk's car home. "Yes," I hissed triumphantly under my breath. Emmett quirked an eyebrow. "I'll explain later."

"Seems to be a lot of that going around," he laughed. Then it dawned on him. _You thought he spent the night._ I glared at him. I wanted to hear what they were saying.

"The keys are in the car, Gary. I left it unlocked." Bella held back her anger, but I knew that it could burst forth at minimal provocation when she'd reached this point.

"Bella, don't be so mad. It's not a big deal." The vulgarian tried to put his arm around her. She jerked away from him as if she'd been burnt. _Why is she so upset? It was a little misunderstanding._

She held out her hands to keep him at arm's length. I'd never seen her so angry. Her eyes blazed as she glared at him. "You refused to take me home. Instead, you brought me out here." She gestured at the surrounding forest. Then her hands went to her hips. "My cell phone won't work from here because it's out in BFE. It was so late, there was nobody working in the lodge. If I hadn't snatched your keys out of your hand, my choices would have been walk home, stand around outside here all night, or stay with you. Not much of a choice. And for the record, that isn't the way to make a woman like you, particularly if her thirteen-year-old daughter is home alone waiting for her."

I gritted my teeth and clenched my hands into fists. I shook with rage. No one should treat any woman with such disrespect. And this was Bella. She might not be mine anymore, but I wouldn't let anyone hurt her. I stepped forward, but Emmett barred my way with his arm. "Whoa, boy. She wants to handle this herself. Let her. As long as it's just words, we need to stay back." When he finished speaking I heard his jaw lock in a furious snap. It took every ounce of restraint I could muster to keep from marching over to that scum Gary and snapping his neck.

The boor looked over Bella's shoulder, noticing us for the first time. "That's that Ed kid. Who's that with him?" Realizing that he was eyeing us, we both narrowed our eyes and glared at him. _Gee, the kid from yesterday was big enough. The other guy's a real monster. _

"He thinks you're a monster," I muttered under my breath.

_Yeah, and he called you Ed._ Emmett hid his chuckle in a sneer that made him look more dangerous than ever. The display seemed to shake the little rodent; he jerked away to face Bella once more.

"His brother, Emmett." Bella didn't elaborate.

_I guess she needs romance. I can do that. I just got impatient. She's going to take a little finesse._ "I get it, Bella. I'm moving too fast. You still aren't ready to date."

"You apparently don't _get_ anything. I didn't ask you to come out here, but I can assure you, it was a colossal waste of effort. It's not that I haven't had enough time. It's not that I'm not ready to date. It's that there will never be enough time in the world for me to be ready to date you. Have a pleasant trip back to Florida." With that, she turned on her heel and stormed back toward the cars. She almost tripped once, but she was close enough to the rental car to grab it for support.

She didn't look at either of us. "Let's get out of here." I could feel the heat of her anger as she flushed red. This wasn't the kind of blush I liked.

Emmett tossed me the keys behind his back and mouthed, "You drive," as he opened the front door for Bella. _That puts you up front with her. Maybe you can close some distance._ He climbed into the back seat. I started the car and Bella's tears cascaded as she took several deep breaths.

"Bella, are you okay? What did he do to you?" I knew she cried when she was angry, but I wanted to at least check if it might be something else. I didn't want to assume. She shook her head. Clearly, she still didn't want to talk. My hands tensed around the steering wheel. "Did he lay a hand on you?" I would kill the bastard. I would tear his head off his scrawny neck. I wouldn't feed on the cad, but I _would_ kill the vulgar little wretch. Painfully.

She laughed. "No. He's just persistent. All he did was irritate the hell out of me."

"We could rough him up a little bit if you want," Emmett offered from the back.

Her laugh was louder this time. "You could eat him, for all I care."

"What do you think, Edward? Are you thirsty?" Emmett raised his eyebrows playfully. I grinned back at him.

Bella's eyes widened as she looked from one of us to another. "He's harmless. Just annoying." Emmett laughed, and Bella hung her head. "For a minute, I thought you were serious."

"What exactly happened," I asked. "You promised to explain on the way home."

She shook her head. "He's one of Tony's fraternity brothers. He's always been aggravating, but he's taken it to new levels since Tony died. Or maybe it's just that Tony blocked me from most of it. Although he didn't show up as much before Tony died. Gary started asking me out right after the funeral. He's been remarkably persistent. One of the good things about moving back here was getting away from him. But apparently, he found some conference in Seattle and decided to stay an extra weekend so that he could see me. He called out of the blue on Monday. I finally told him he could come to dinner Friday. He insisted on dinner and a movie last night. When it was over, he didn't want to bring me home. I'm sure you could both hear the rest."

"Do you feel better now?" I asked, knowing very well that _I_ certainly felt better. She really wasn't interested in this slug. She never had been. She hadn't wanted the boor here in the first place. After last night, this news was the sweetest relief.

"I'm fine. And thank you. Thank both of you for helping me out." She sounded calmer. "I don't think he'll be back."

I decided it was the right time to point out that I sent the flowers, just to make sure she knew. "You do know that those flowers weren't from him? Well, except the ones he brought Friday night." The ones that smelled like gasoline. I held my tongue, biting back what I wanted to say. I could afford to be a little gracious now that she'd sent him packing.

She blushed and turned quickly to look out the window again, facing away from me. "I knew. I just figured I didn't need to tell Marietta that they were from you. You don't need to send me flowers, you know. You shouldn't." She glanced in my direction. "But they are beautiful. The whole house smells wonderful. And the poetry on the cards was a nice touch, too." She sat incredibly still, but she pressed her hands together as if to keep them from shaking. "And they certainly made Gary wonder. Perhaps they'll help keep him away."

_Way to go, bro. I told you the flowers would work. And adding the poetry to the cards was genius._ Emmett leaned back quietly in the back seat.

"I've never seen anything like those arrangements. And the floral combinations were surprising but beautiful." She seemed to be concentrating on something.

I hadn't thought about the fact that she might not know the language of flowers. "When I was young, each bloom carried a coded meaning. You sent specific messages when you combined certain blossoms together in a bouquet. Sometimes the message even changed based on color as well as variety."

She sighed uncomfortably. "And what do the arrangements you sent mean?" She seemed a little worried and began to bite her bottom lip.

"Red tulips declare love. They symbolize a lover's heart, and the black center shows how it is burned to a coal by the passion of love. The yellow ones mean you love hopelessly and utterly." I glanced at her. She was listening, but her expression was blank. I kept talking. "The orchids denote ecstasy because I feel ecstatic seeing you again. The daffodils stand for chivalry. That was as close as I could come to something that says that I want to take care of you." I checked again. She stared out the window.

"Some of them are in bouquets, and their messages blend. Irises, sweet peas, honeysuckle and jasmine describe the hope that love will bind us together for a long and happy time." She let out a deep breath. "Heliotropes represent devotion, red heather passion, asters new beginnings and white zinnias consolation for absence. Together, that bouquet pleads that if you will give me another chance, I will make up, with my devotion and passion, for leaving you. I think they came the same day as the birds-of-paradise, which show hope for the future and recognize something strange and wonderful. I suppose I'm strange and you're wonderful." Emmett laughed in the back seat, but Bella remained quiet. Or was she uninterested?

_She asked what the flowers meant, not if you could bore her to death. Cut to the chase._

"Ranunculi suggest that I find you charming." I actually turned and grinned, but she was looking away. "Violets pledge my faithfulness and represent love in its truest form. The tricolor pansies mean I think of you and I hope that my love can ease your heart. The camellias place my destiny in your hands." This time when I glanced, she had lowered her head. "Poppies represent the wonder of dreams, sleep and rest. They're rather self explanatory, because I miss watching you sleep. And I confess that I have come back, since that first night, to watch you." She looked at me this time, her mouth a taut line. "The red roses promise deep and passionate love and the white ones stand for love of the soul." She laughed, a short bitter laugh, but at least she was listening to me. "Lilies-of-the-valley suggest a return of happiness."

"That's all a little overwhelming, Edward," Bella murmured. "But I appreciate that you put so much thought into it." Tension hung in the air. "But you shouldn't send any more." It was gentler than what she'd said to Scary Gary, but did it mean the same thing?

"The next time Rose is mad at me, you are helping me pick the flowers, bro," Emmett laughed, trying to ease the strained atmosphere.

I was afraid of the silence, afraid of what she might say next, so I teased Emmett. "Sure, Emmett. You can send Rosalie a bouquet of protea and anthuriam,"

"What do they mean?" Emmett was suddenly worried. It had occurred to him that I might put together the wrong message.

"The challenge of desire and intense attraction, generally of a sexual nature." Bella laughed when I explained it.

Emmett narrowed his eyes. "Why do I think they might get me in trouble?"

"They're unusual. Ostentatious. She'd probably like them, especially if you told her what they meant." But they're definitely unusual. I chuckled, thinking of Rosalie's initial response to that particular arrangement. "And since it's Rosalie, you might add some jewelry."

Bella listened to the exchange. She stared at me, then at Emmett. "You told him to send me flowers, didn't you Emmett?"

"Can I plead the fifth?" Emmett asked as we pulled into her driveway. I stopped the car.

"They are beautiful. Thank you." She held my gaze. I tried to dazzle her. It just made her laugh. But her voice was stern and filled with reproach when she said, "No more, Edward." And with that, she jumped out of the car and walked determinedly to the house. I watched her, unable to take my eyes off her until she closed the door.

I turned to find Emmett sitting in the front seat. "See what I mean? I don't think the flowers helped." I backed out of the driveway, frustrated.

"She was a little cold. And while the flowers themselves didn't do you much good, I think the coded messages thing and the poetry helped. That impressed her, the time it took for you to do that." Emmett nodded as he spoke. Clearly, he was quite sure of himself.

"I'm not so certain about that," I muttered.

He tried to offer me some encouragement. "She was still upset about that bastard. You just caught the brunt of it."

"And the other days?" I waited for him to explain that one.

Instead, he just lowered his head and shook it from side to side. "I don't think you need to bother with any more flowers. If Rosalie were that upset with me, I'd go for jewelry, followed by a little romance. I don't think that's going to work with Bella."

"You're right about the jewelry, but I can do romance," I insisted, insulted.

Emmett just laughed. "Not the kind I'm talking about. You'd break her." I shot him a dark look. It was a good thing we were home because I didn't want to continue this particular conversation.


	12. My Brother's Keeper

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**My Brother's Keeper**_

by silly bella

I waited quietly in her bedroom, leaning back in the rocking chair. I noticed two vases filled with flowers on her dresser and a third beside the bed. My brother was nothing less than enthusiastic when it came to groveling. I just wasn't sure it was working with Bella. When she came in, she didn't even notice me. It wasn't until she'd pulled the bedspread down and climbed into the bed that she saw me.

"Emmett. This is a surprise. It's usually Edward hanging out in my bedroom." She sighed and leaned back against the headboard. "Is there something I can do for you?"

With my hands clasped on my knees, I leaned forward. "Don't you think you're being a bit hard on him, Bella? I have no dog in this hunt, I know. I love you both. I don't want to see either of you hurting. It just seems that both of you would be better off if you worked this out." Even if I hadn't been good at reading human emotions, I'd have recognized the pain that flickered across her face. "Why are you so angry? Tell me what happened, Bella. It hurts him, you know, even though it's what he wanted, it hurts him that you found someone else to love so quickly."

"It hurts _him_?" She shook her head and took a big breath. I could see her shaking, and I didn't think it was because she was cold. "_I_ wasn't the one who left, Emmett."

"You left, too. You went to Jacksonville," I pointed out. "And he did it for you. All he wanted was for you to be safe, Bella. And he felt that you would be safest with us gone, because we placed you in constant danger. We didn't agree with his choice, but he was right about the situation. We _were _dangerous for you." She pursed her lips angrily as I spoke. "And however you figure it, you have a thirteen-year-old daughter. You moved on pretty fast."

She leveled an angry glare in my direction. "It may seem pretty quick to you, but I didn't have _forever_ as an option." Her lips made a taut line when she finished speaking.

"Bella, I love you both. I just want to understand. I know you don't trust him right now. Can you trust me?" I waited, but she didn't respond at first. Finally, she shook her head.

"What exactly do you want to know, Emmett?" She rubbed the back of her neck and it almost looked like it hurt.

I wasn't sure I really wanted to hear it, but I asked her anyway. "Tell me what happened from the time we left."

She looked utterly lost. It seemed like she couldn't breathe. Her eyes seemed hollow. Her voice was dead, emotionless. "I don't remember much from the first week. After they found me in the woods and brought me in – "

"After who found you in the woods? What are you talking about?" I was already confused. Had she not understood what I wanted to know?

"I tried to follow him when he left, and I got lost in the woods. Then I tripped in the dark. It started raining." Still no expression. It was almost as if she had turned something off inside her. "Sam Uley, from down at La Push, he found me and brought me back to Charlie. I spent the next week in bed. I don't really remember much until Renée came."

"She took you to Jacksonville? You didn't choose to leave?" Did that make a real difference? That she hadn't run away?

"I was catatonic, Emmett. I didn't choose anything," she hissed. At least she sounded alive. But it didn't last long. The next words out of her mouth returned to her earlier monotone. "If I'd been able to stay here, it might have been different. Charlie was better than Renée at giving space to other people. But Renée…" She sighed and shook her head. "She and Phil wanted to check me into a psych ward. I had to act like everything was fine. It would have been so much easier to fool Charlie."

There had to be more, so I just waited. This was hard for her, I had to give her time. "Since I couldn't shut down like I wanted to, I went to the other extreme. I started hanging out with a rough crowd." She looked at me and sighed. "I guess they weren't as inherently dangerous as your family, but for all practical purposes, they were certainly more active about seeking trouble. Fast cars without vampire reflexes. Motorcycles. Drugs." I couldn't hide my shock at the last item. She laughed. "I tried a little weed, Emmett, but that's about it as far as the drugs went. I am a police officer's daughter. I'm not sure what Charlie would have done if anyone had ever caught me with drugs, but I do know it wouldn't have been pretty." I chuckled, but I was relieved, too. She continued, "That's when I started hearing his voice. I thought I really was going crazy after that. I was so afraid that Renée would find out, somehow. That I'd still end up in the nearest nuthouse. But there was plenty of alcohol around, and I learned that if I drank enough, I didn't hear anything. Not his voice; not anything at all."

What was she talking about hearing his voice? She'd passed over that quickly and I didn't want to interrupt her. It had clearly been much more difficult for her than I'd ever imagined.

"Tony met me then, and he hung around while I fell apart. He didn't care that I was broken. He put me back together again. He comforted me when I was lost in the pain and confusion that Edward left behind. He helped me close up that hole that Edward left. He supported me until I could stop looking back for someone who would never be there, not the way I wanted, at least. And after all of that, he loved me. He was the only stable person or thing around me, and I grabbed hold of that love and held on with everything I had." As she spoke, she seemed to gain some confidence. "Three days after graduation, we headed off to Panama City to elope. And pretty much nine months later Marietta was born. I've never once regretted that choice."

"Do you…can you still love Edward?" That was the important question.

Surprisingly, she laughed. "Does it matter?"

Does it matter? Had she become that cold? "What do you mean 'does it matter?' of course it matters!"

Her voice quivered. "I've always loved him, Emmett. But I can't go through this again. Yes, it's fine while he's here, but what about when he gets bored again? When he decides to leave again?"

"Why would he leave again?" I had to listen more carefully. I was missing something. Some vital piece of information.

"Why wouldn't he? It would be different if he loved me. But there isn't anything about me that would keep him here. If I couldn't do that before, then how on earth would I be able to now?" The anger rose in her cheeks. "And I'm not some science project. He can't treat my life like some Petri dish that he comes to check on periodically to see how the mold is growing. And I can't set myself up like that again. I may have closed that part of my heart away, but I didn't… I couldn't turn it off. I don't think I could survive him leaving me again."

Why is she talking about a science project? What does that have to do with anything? "What makes you think he doesn't love you?"

"He told me he didn't. Before you left. Well, before he left, the rest of you were already gone." Her face crumpled. "I just can't do this, Emmett."

I was across the room to hold her before the tears could start falling. That stupid, stupid brother of mine. He'd lied to her when he left. He couldn't think of anything better than telling her he didn't love her? What an idiot. I would kill him if he weren't already dead. All this time she thought he didn't love her? No wonder she felt angry. No wonder she was hard as nails with him. What on earth did he expect?

He needed to tell her the truth. Of course, what reason would she have to trust him? I could tell her, but somehow, I doubted if my telling her that Edward had lied would help at all. But maybe, if I told her how he'd been; how his leaving her had affected him, too. Maybe if I told her about that, she'd eventually believe him.

"Bella, I don't know why he told you that he didn't love you." Because he's stupid. Plain stupid. Dumber than a doorknob. "He's always loved you. And after we left, he wouldn't stay with us. He was broken, too. Alice saw him in a vision. She sent me after him. I don't know the last time he'd fed when I found him. I've never seen him like that." He looked like hell. He made death eating a cracker look good. "He's come back to Forks on and off since then. He always comes back in pretty bad shape, but he can't stay away."

"He could have found me any time," she murmured, looking at me once more.

I nodded. "He did, once. After I first brought him back. Jasper found you in Florida. You had just married, so I guess you were also pregnant. And would you really have wanted him to show up out of the blue at that point?"

She shook her head. "No, you're right. By then it was too late."

"It nearly destroyed him, though. I thought we were going to lose him again. We all did. He hasn't been the same since." None of us has. "We weren't sure what to think when he called and asked us all to come to Forks, just out of nowhere. We were a little afraid, actually. He's still not the same, but he's better than he was. Just being around you has helped him."

Pity flickered across her face as she listened. When she finally spoke, her voice was a whisper, "It's hard to believe, Emmett. I don't know if I can trust him again." She looked away.

"That's reasonable, Bella." Perhaps it was too much to ask after what she'd been through. "But can you at least give him a chance?"

She had wrapped her arms around herself and her breath was ragged. "It hurts so much. It's like opening everything up again. I made myself stop feeling it so I could function. I thought nothing would ever hurt this way again."

"You lost your husband." Did that mean she didn't love him?

"He's gone, and that was horrifying." She stopped long enough to swallow. "But he didn't choose to leave me. I never doubted for one minute that _he_ loved me. It's different."

"Are you saying we should go, Bella? That we should leave you alone?" Please don't say it. Give him a chance.

She breathed deeply. It seemed like it hurt. She held herself even more tightly than before. "No. I don't want you to go. Not any of you." She leaned against me again. "It's already too late. It never really mattered whether he still loved me or not. It was already too late when I looked up and saw him standing at the top of my staircase."

"Then it's not too late. It's just in time."


	13. Feint and Weave

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

Feint and weave are boxing terms. To feint is to fake a punch forcing your opponent to open up into a vulnerable position. To weave is to turn and twist in order to avoid being hit.

_**Feint and Weave**_

by silly bella

I was waiting for him when he came home from hunting. He seemed a bit surprised and in a hurry to go to Bella's, but I needed to talk to him first. He couldn't screw this up again. Neither of them would come out of it if he did.

"What's up Emmett?" he asked suspiciously.

That was probably because I was doing my best to block him from my mind. "I talked to Bella last night." His head whipped around. That surprised him. I decided not to hold back. "How could you tell her that you didn't love her?" He dropped his head, clearly ashamed.

"She wasn't going to accept it. I could see that it was the only way that she would move on. You have no idea how excruciatingly painful it was to tell her that." He couldn't look me in the eye.

"Yeah, but I do have a pretty good idea of how stupid it was to tell her that." He jerked his head up, and I could tell that I'd struck a nerve.

He didn't say anything.

"You wonder why she's angry. That's a start. And once you get past the anger, there's going to be the hurt." He stared at me, his eyes enormous, revealing his vulnerability when it came to Bella.

"She does hate me," he whispered.

I shook my head. Bella was mad at him, and frankly, I was, too. But thinking she hated him wouldn't help anybody. "She doesn't hate you. But she's had fifteen years with no outlet for the anger and hurt. She may need to work through it, and you know you deserve anything she throws at you."

"I guess she deserves that opportunity, at least." He pressed his fingers against his temples. "At least she's had a happy life. A human life."

"She has. But she did have a rough time at first. You need to talk about that. You need to understand what you put her through, even if things did turn out all right. Remember, the whole time, she thought you didn't love her. You never had to doubt how she felt about you." He shut his eyes as if that would make this less real. "You don't even have to doubt it now. She's just scared of being hurt again."

He opened his eyes and looked at me, confused. "You mean…"

"I mean that she loves you," I stated quietly.

"She loved her husband." He shook his head in disbelief.

"I'm sure she did. I just don't think that means she stopped loving you. More like, she came to terms with you not being in her life and decided to make the best of it. It's not as if you gave her a choice." I knew I'd come down on him hard, but he needed to be humble when he talked to Bella, and Edward wasn't good at humble. His eyes were sullen as he stood there silently. I knew he was rolling everything I'd said around in his mind.

"Edward, this isn't something that you think about. You need to act on it. You need to follow your heart and not your head. Your head is what got you into this in the first place." By the time he finished working out all the implications of what I'd said, Bella could be forty. He needed to act. Now. "You can't afford to screw it up this time. It's so much more complicated than it was before."

"Yes," he nodded seriously. "Marietta complicates things."

I laughed. "You think that's all that complicates things? Sometimes you are so stupid you couldn't find your rear end with both hands and a road map. There's the age thing. She doesn't look thirty-two. She could probably pass for ten years younger, maybe more. But that isn't going to last long. And there are other reasons to change her." I gave him a sly smile.

"What do you mean?" Either he was completely oblivious or he was being obtuse by choice.

"She's been married, Edward. She's not some innocent schoolgirl anymore." He frowned. "The proof of that is walking around with a crush on you. Bella may have some expectations that you can't meet if she isn't a vampire." His eyes darkened. "Don't look at it that way, Edward. There's something to be said for experienced women. You may be too much of a gentleman to mention it, but that doesn't mean you haven't thought about it. Admit it. She's your MILF."

Vampires are fast, but Edward was faster than your average vampire, so I didn't even see the blow coming. I found myself on the ground before the words were out of my mouth, and he was on top of me before I could respond. He blocked my first few punches, pummeling me in the process. Edward was a counter puncher. He exploited the opening when you threw a punch, and _if_ you thought about it, he could combine this tactic with his mind-reading, making him deadly in a fight, even if you had other advantages. As long as I followed my instincts, reading my mind wouldn't help, but it was hard to fight without thinking at all about what you were doing. I used a right hook to distract him and rolled into it to gain the advantage. He nailed some rabbit punches to my lower body, but I stopped him with an uppercut to the chin. He managed to block and cover, so I wasn't getting any clean punches in, but I had him down on the ground. I'd teach him to jump me. Besides, he deserved a good thrashing for telling Bella he didn't love her, even if it had been almost fifteen years ago.

I hadn't paid any attention to the noise as we crashed against the ground. Somewhere along the way, we'd knocked down a couple of trees. Of course my family heard. We'd be lucky if half of Forks hadn't heard. Rosalie and Jasper pulled me to my feet as Carlisle and Alice pulled Edward along the ground away from me. Esme scowled, clearly unhappy with the fight, even though she had no idea what it was about. We stood, under Carlisle's disapproving gaze, me silent, Edward growling low in his throat. The others stepped away once they felt certain Edward and I wouldn't start fighting again. Finally, Carlisle spoke. "May I presume to ask what this is about?" Edward's growling intensified. "Edward, if you have something to say, then say it. But stop growling." Edward glared in silence. Carlisle fixed his eyes on me. "Do you have anything to say about this?"

Out of the corner of my eye, I caught Edward looking at me, his lips in a grim line, warning me to stay silent. He was right. This was between us. But I could calm Carlisle and Esme. "I thought Edward needed some sense talked into him. He didn't feel much like talking, so I decided to knock some sense into him."

Carlisle struggled to keep his face serious. I wondered how many times he'd tried to talk sense into my stubborn brother. "If we leave you to talk this out, can you resist coming to blows again?" He glanced at me first, but his gaze came to rest on Edward. I knew he was telling him something, something that caused a low rumble on Edward's part before he nodded. Carlisle's expression made the slightest movement and Edward fell silent.

"I just want him to listen," I stated.

Edward didn't speak. Carlisle waited patiently. Finally, Edward grumbled, "I won't touch him."

"Good. No more fighting." Carlisle pointed to the upturned trees. "And clean that mess up."

Esme gave us both a worried glance before she turned to leave, but Carlisle put his arm around her shoulders and whispered. "They'll be fine. How many decades has it been since they had a knock-down-drag-out fight? They'll both survive. Besides, you know that sometimes that's what it takes to get Edward to listen. They've agreed not to take it to fists anymore, so let them finish." Jasper gave a low chuckle before he and Alice followed. Rosalie paused long enough to blow me a flirtatious kiss before she left. Finally, Edward and I stood alone once more.

"Let's fix the trees while we talk," I suggested. We settled our shoulders into one of them, lifting it together. "You wouldn't change her before. I just think you need to come to terms with the fact that it might be the only solution. You're going to have to pay more attention to what she wants. It's not all about you."

We settled the tree's roots deep into the soil and made sure it would stand up sturdily. Edward muttered, "I won't do that to her. I won't take her soul."

"You don't even know if that's true. Are you really willing to give up eternity with her for something that has as much of a chance of being wrong as it does of being right? Regardless of what she wants?" We started on the next tree, shouldering it together.

"I won't take her humanity," he insisted.

"Then accept this: it may not be up to you. I'd do it if I thought I wouldn't kill her. And Carlisle might be more amenable now than he used to be." I braced myself, prepared for another blow, but it didn't come.

The only sound was his whisper. "He wouldn't."

"I think anyone in this family who thought they would be successful would change her in a heartbeat. We've lived with you the last fifteen years. You've always been melancholy, but it's reached new dimensions since we left Forks. I don't think anyone wants to go through that again." If he'd reacted the way he had just being away from her when we left, what would he do when she died, as she surely would if she remained human? None of us was prepared to deal with that.

He read my thoughts, and his expression grew dark. Still, he didn't speak as we packed the roots so the tree would stand. "Why don't you cross that bridge when you come to it? Just go to her now." It didn't take more than that. He was gone.


	14. Homecoming

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Homecoming**_

by silly bella

Bella frowned at me from the bed. Not an angry frown. This was more like confusion. Then she laughed. "What happened to you?" She raised her knees and wrapped her arms around them, curling up like a ball.

Needless to say, I was a little surprised at her response to my arrival. "What do you mean?"

"You look a little… disheveled." She grinned and waited for me to respond.

I glanced at myself in the mirror. My clothes were filthy, rumpled and covered in grass stains and dirt. One sleeve was partially ripped off, and the collar dangled down the front of my shirt. A smudge of mud plastered my jaw. I even had soil flecked through my unkempt hair. I lowered my head. Way to make an impression.

"Edward, what happened?" Her voice was low, her expression grave.

This was embarrassing. There she sat on the bed looking perfect in a satin nightgown that matched her blush. And her scent, mixed with the faint clean smell of soap, filled the room. The contrast was almost symbolic, she, pure and angelic, me, a filthy monster. How could Emmett be right? How could she love me, still? How could she ever have loved me? "Emmett and I had a fight," I mumbled.

"Oh. Are you… hurt?" Her tone was filled with concern. She motioned to the rocking chair, and I sat down.

She cared whether or not I was hurt! That was a good thing. "No. To do any real damage Emmett would have had to rip off an arm or a leg or bite me. And even if he ripped off a body part, as long as he didn't burn it, it would heal."

"Is Emmett hurt?" She raised her eyebrows and grinned. I could tell she felt pretty confident he wasn't.

"No. He's fine." I glanced at my clothes. "He's also probably clean by now."

Her face became serious; her lips formed a grim line. Then she spoke, "Why were you fighting?"

"He was angry at me because I lied to you when we left." Not half as angry with me as I've been for the last fifteen years. I threw away your love. The most sublime gift that anyone could bestow, her love. Bella's love. Like heaven's grace. And I cast it aside.

"So he started a fight?" Her disbelief was apparent.

I hung my head. "Not exactly." I mumbled. I started it. Another thing for me to be ashamed of.

"Then what?" She raised her hands, palms up.

With a sigh, I lifted my eyes to meet hers. "He wants me to change you. I mean, he wants us to work things out, and then for me to change you."

Her brow furrowed as she tried to make sense of what I was telling her. "And he thought fighting was the best way to bring that about?"

"No." I wished she would stop asking questions.

"So why did he hit you?" she demanded.

"Because I hit him," I admitted reluctantly.

She laughed, her head tilting back, revealing her neck. The pale white skin that was always so inviting, so tempting. When she leaned forward again, her damp braid fell over her shoulder. "I see. Which part was it you had a problem with? Changing me? Or working things out?"

"Bella, you know why I can't change you. I can't take your soul," I pleaded. Would she never understand? I could not – would not – condemn her to this soulless existence. "I love you too much to do that to you."

She shut her eyes and whispered, "Do you? Or is it that you know you don't want me around forever?" Her face crumpled as she waited for my response.

How could she think such a thing? Forever meant nothing without her, without at least knowing that she was alive and happy. "I can't damn you for eternity, Bella. No matter how much I want you, I can't do that." She started laughing again. "Why is that funny?" Bella still didn't respond to things like a normal person.

"According to my mother-in-law, I've already taken care of damning myself." She grinned as the blush crept up her cheeks.

Now she wasn't making any sense at all. "What are you talking about?"

"Tony and I eloped. It was a civil wedding, not a church one," she explained. "His mother is old school Catholic, so that doesn't count as married. As far as she's concerned, I've led Tony straight to hell along with me because we spent thirteen years living in sin."

"That's insane," I spat out.

She shrugged. "That's my mother-in-law. And it's no more insane than what you believe."

"Perhaps we should concentrate on working things out." I tried to change the subject.

I could hear the sarcasm in her voice when she spoke again. "And what does Emmett recommend there?"

"He said that you were angry. And hurt." As if I needed Emmett to tell me that. What else would she be?

"You needed Emmett to help you figure that out?" She echoed my thoughts.

"No. I knew that. But he pointed out that you haven't really had an outlet for your anger." I paused, letting myself feel the pain I'd been fighting for years. "I know that I deserve whatever you have to say to me. I deserve that and more. I should never have left you. I certainly should never have told you that I didn't love you. I wanted so much to protect you, and I just kept placing you in dangerous situations. Even with my family, it was dangerous."

"I was willing to face the danger." She wore the same determined expression I remembered. I'd seen it over and over, every time she tried to persuade me to change her.

My reasons remained the same. "I couldn't bear the thought of what might happen to you. I didn't want to lose you."

"So you left me?" She laughed bitterly and shook her head. "That doesn't make any sense, Edward. That was just another way to lose me." She squeezed her arms more tightly around her legs, inhaling and exhaling slowly, struggling as she breathed.

"I didn't want you to die, Bella. I decided the best way to protect you was to let you live a normal human life." A happy life. Even if it didn't include me.

She was quiet for a moment. "I suppose I should thank you for that. It may not have been what I would have chosen then, but my life has been mostly happy. And there's Mari Alice." She smiled. A real smile. The kind I hadn't seen in years. It took my breath away. I couldn't help but smile back.

"So there was at least something right about what I did?" I whispered, afraid I might break the magic spell by talking and scare her smile away.

She fluttered her eyes shut for a moment. Remembering, I suppose. But she continued, smiling. "I don't know that I would have missed my life if I'd never known it. But now I can't imagine not having those years."

"That they were good years eases my regret just a little." Not much. Not enough to make me feel less mortified by my own behavior. "I can't imagine the guilt and despair I would feel if your life had turned out differently. I've been tormented enough as it is." I wanted to reach out to hold her, to wrap my arms around her and never let her go. But I was too scared. I might frighten her away forever.

"Why did you lie to me when you left?" Her voice, barely a whisper, trembled. Clearly, her emotions were still raw.

"I didn't believe you would let go, and if you didn't let go then you would never be able to move on and be happy." I felt so disgusted with myself. It had never been a good decision. Now it seemed even more heinous than before. "Lying to you was the most difficult thing I've ever done."

She seemed surprised. "You hadn't told Emmett what you said? Not after all this time?"

"I hadn't told any of them. I felt too ashamed," I admitted. "Even Alice didn't know. I was afraid she might have seen it, but I think she was so focused on helping Jasper pull himself together that she missed it. She'd have never let it go without saying something if she'd seen it."

Her brow furrowed. "So why did they think you left?"

"They knew why I left. The _real_ reason," I assured her. "To protect you – from us. From others like us."

"And now it's all rather a mess." Her expression changed in an instant from grave to amused. "Kind of like you right now." She laughed.

"I should have changed clothes." How could I have been so stupid? It never occurred to me that I might be in such total disarray. "I just didn't think about it. He said… I hoped… I can go clean up and come back so we can talk."

"You don't have to leave." It surprised me when she stood and walked towards me. The play of the moonlight over the satin of her nightgown mesmerized me. She shimmered, every movement accentuating the curves of her body. She reached out to touch a smudge on my cheek. "Wait here," she whispered.

She left the room quietly, returning a few moments later with a basin of water, washcloths and towels. She stepped behind me and rubbed a damp cloth over my hair. The water felt warm, but it was Bella's gentle touch that melted my heart. She scrubbed the dirt from my hair and towel dried it. I couldn't help smiling like a fool when she came back to face me. My mouth dropped open when her nimble fingers began to unbutton my shirt. Her fingers brushed against my chest and when I tried to speak, my mouth refused to form words. Bella laughed at the indecipherable noises I made. "Take it off. Pants too." She must have noticed my resistance, because she added, "You're filthy, Edward. Off. Now."

"Bella, I…" I wasn't exactly sure what to say. She pursed her lips and gave me an expectant look. I stood and shed my shirt then staggered out of my shoes and socks as my pants caught on them. I wished I'd worn boxers instead of boxer-briefs that day. I might have felt a little less exposed, but Bella took my near-nudity in stride. She pointed to the rocker, and I sat obediently. She leaned in with the washcloth, her scent filling the air. I inhaled deeply, enjoying it as I would any forbidden pleasure. Every inch of my skin prickled as she rubbed gently along my jaw, cleaning my face. She dipped the cloth in the water again and lifted up my hand, caressing each finger as she scrubbed away the mud. Then she switched to my other hand.

When she finished, she dropped the cloth into the basin. She caught my gaze, and after some hesitation, whispered, "Do you truly love me?" She seemed a bit afraid of my answer.

I reached for her hands, taking them both in mine, and answered her in a low voice. "Truly, I do." Her face relaxed then beamed with a smile. I wasn't sure whether to be shocked or pleased when she climbed onto my lap and kissed me, but when I felt her body pressed against my chest, I opted for thrilled and met her lips with mine. I held her close and marveled at her warmth. I inhaled her scent, enjoying both the pleasure and pain it caused. My lips traced her neck, finally resting in the warm hollow between her collarbones. She kissed me, her lips pressing ever-so-gently against my forehead. My exile was over; I had returned home.


	15. First Light

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**First Light**_

by silly bella

I awoke that morning in his arms. At first, I thought it was a dream. It wouldn't have been the first. I wasn't sure until I saw the pile of muddy clothes next to the rocking chair. I smiled, remembering the night before. His cool body against mine had given me chills that had nothing to do with temperature. As always, he left me wanting more. At some point, he'd carried me from the rocker to the bed. I had no memory of it, having fallen asleep in his arms there in the chair.

He'd seemed so embarrassed, vulnerable, when I made him take his clothes off. I'd surprised him when I straddled his lap and kissed him. Then it occurred to me that he was… innocent, as inexperienced as he'd been fifteen years ago, when I was innocent, too. I must have truly shocked him. Suddenly, I felt like Mrs. Robinson. Nothing good could come of this. I breathed deeply, but tried not to disturb him. Then, with a sudden realization, I laughed.

"What's so funny?" he whispered.

"I was thinking I needed to be quiet. I didn't want to wake you," I giggled. "Then I remembered that you don't sleep, so it didn't matter." He laughed, too.

He glanced at the vases of roses on my dresser. "I wondered where you put them."

"About that. You know that you don't need to send me flowers. And certainly not so _many_ flowers," I didn't want to sound ungrateful; I just didn't want him to start buying me things. And knowing Edward, if I gave him an inch, he'd take a mile. One day it would be flowers and the next thing I knew, it would be a car or something equally extravagant.

"If I thought it would make up for the past, make any difference at all, I'd send you a dozen roses for every one of the 5,418 days since I left you," he murmured, kissing my ear.

"That's a lot of roses," I laughed.

"About 65,016 of them," he assured me.

It worried me that he had these numbers on the tip of his tongue. "Don't even think about it. There wouldn't be room to walk."

"That's why I thought I'd go with fifteen dozen, one for each year," he explained.

"You didn't!" I hissed.

"They should arrive today," he said sheepishly.

"No more flowers," I stated, enunciating each word carefully. He lifted my hair as I spoke, his marble lips pressing gentle kisses against my neck. Then _he_ surprised _me_. He started at the nape of my neck and kissed slowly down my back along my vertebrae, stopping only when he reached the material of the nightgown halfway down my back. I shuddered.

"Cold?" he asked as he pulled the blankets around me.

"No," I shook my head, accentuating my response. I was warmer than I wanted to say, but the warmth came from inside. I had wanted him fifteen years ago when I didn't even fully understand when my body spoke to me of longing. That paled to what I felt now – now that I knew the language of desire.

He played with my hair, watching me, I knew, in that silent, still way of his. "You're awfully quiet." He paused, waiting for me to speak. I didn't. "It's still so frustrating, not knowing what you're thinking."

"This is one time you probably don't really want to know," I murmured, turning to face him.

"Bella," his voice was breathy, "forgive me."

I smiled. "I'd think it's apparent that I already have."

"That isn't what I meant," he stated. He took my hand in his, turning it over to kiss my palm. "Please, forgive me for _this_." His fingers closed around my rings. He held my gaze as he slipped them off. I held my breath.

Did it matter? I hadn't betrayed Tony. He'd been dead for a little more than a year. I didn't love him any less. Was I ready to take them off? To leave that part of my life behind? I swallowed and looked into Edward's eyes, losing myself in the rich, golden color. "It's time," I whispered.

He reached behind me, carefully placing the rings on the bedside table. The action brought him closer to me. I traced the contours of his face, his angelic perfection stunning me, as always. Then he kissed me, and the world started to spin. I'd forgotten this feeling, this dizzying free-fall. I wrapped my arms around him, expecting him to back away, but instead, he held me closer. Closer than he'd ever held me before. So close I could feel that he wanted me every bit as much as I wanted him.

Suddenly, he pulled away. Regret flittered across his face. _No._ He was leaving. I couldn't hold him after all. His brows knit together. "Marietta's awake. She's on her way to your room. I should go." His lips brushed against my cheek one last time before he disappeared. I smiled, realizing my mistake and happy to be wrong.

The door burst open. "Mom, let's make pancakes!"

"Pancakes?" I laughed. Of all mornings for Mari Alice to wake up early wanting pancakes.

"Pancakes. There's time before I leave to baby-sit. I'll mix and you can cook." She sank onto the mattress beside me, leaning against me as I sat up.

"Fine. I'll be right down." I yawned and shook my head. "You can start mixing. And put on some coffee." My eyes flashed to Edward's clothes in a pile beside the rocker. Had he rushed out in his underwear? The mere thought made me smile.

"Mom," Mari Alice complained. "What's wrong with you? You look like you're stoned."

I wrenched the image from my mind. "And just what do you know about being stoned, young lady?"

"Movies," she grumbled, already heading for the hallway.

Laughing, I staggered out of bed. I grabbed Edward's clothes, along with the dirty linens and the basin of muddy water, relieved that Mari Alice hadn't seemed to notice any of it in the dark bedroom. I quickly disposed of the water and rinsed the basin out before I carried the clothes and linens downstairs. "Just let me put this load in the washer," I murmured as I passed through the kitchen. I deposited the towels in the pile of dirty clothes and took a look at Edward's shirt and pants. They'd need some mending, but it wouldn't take long and could wait until they were clean. After treating them to get rid of the stains, I tossed them in to wash and made my way to the kitchen. Mari Alice had already melted butter in a skillet and set a plate and spatula beside the stove. I washed my hands and waited for her to finish mixing.

Mari Alice stared at me, her mouth open. "Mom," she gasped. "Where are your rings?"

My daughter was way too observant. I should have known she'd notice immediately and ask about it. I really wasn't sure what to say. I held my hand up and looked at my bare finger. "I decided it was time to stop wearing my wedding rings."

She pressed her lips together in a taut line and glared at me. Finally, she spoke. "Does that mean you don't love Daddy any more?"

"Mari Alice, I will always love your father. Taking off my wedding bands doesn't change that in any way." I tried to hug her, but she shrugged away. "I have to accept that he's dead, and that I have to keep living."

"Mom, this isn't about Uncle Gary, is it?" she asked suspiciously.

Relieved, I burst into laughter. "This has absolutely nothing to do with Uncle Gary. If we're really lucky, we won't hear from him anymore."

"Why did you ask him here?" she rolled her eyes.

"I didn't. He sort of invited himself." Just thinking about him made my anger well up and I clenched my teeth. I shut my eyes and swallowed. Then I picked up the spatula and smiled at Mari Alice. "You ready for some pancakes?"


	16. Indecent Exposure

Doing somethingDisclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Indecent Exposure**_

by silly bella

I left so quickly I forgot about my clothes. I'd never had to think about jumping out of Bella's window in my underwear before. It wasn't that I was cold. It was the idea of trying to get back to my room without anyone noticing my state of undress. Chances were pretty low. Alice had probably already seen it in a vision.

Part of me didn't care. I'd just spent the night at Bella's and she actually _wanted_ me there. But I also knew I'd never live it down if anyone saw me. I'd just have to make sure no one did.

I negotiated the woods easily. Even if I had run into hikers, they wouldn't have noticed me. Getting inside the house was a different matter entirely. The impossibility of sneaking through the door and up three flights of stairs in a house full of vampires perplexed me. But I might manage to climb up into my bathroom window without anyone knowing.

After listening carefully, it sounded like everyone was watching television. Now was my best chance of getting past everyone. I glanced at the window, which suddenly opened. A pair of pants, a shirt, socks and shoes landed a few feet away from me. Alice leaned out and waved. Then Emmett, grinning from ear to ear, appeared beside her.

"What's that, Edward? Did you say something about streaking?" Emmett bellowed. "Hey, Jasper. Remember how Edward never wanted to streak in the 70s? He's decided to give it a shot. He wants to make a run by Bella's house." He chuckled at my embarrassment. "Huh? You already did it? Without us?"

By then, Jasper had joined them. "Edward's streaking?" _What on earth is Emmett going on about?_

In fact, everyone in my family had joined them. At least I'd had time to put on the clothes Alice had tossed me. I sighed, waiting for the barrage that was sure to follow.

I heard Esme's concerned voice. "He came home naked?" _Why?_

"Not quite naked. He was wearing underwear," Alice giggled. "But never fear, I threw him something to wear. He's dressed again."

There was no reason to climb in the window, now. My family met me at the door. Esme frowned and asked, "What happened to your clothes?"

Without thinking, I answered, "Bella made me take them off." As soon as the words were out of my mouth, I knew I'd regret it.

"Bella made you strip?" Rosalie teased. "Did she play stripper music for you?" Behind her, Emmett and Jasper leaned against each other, bracing themselves as they doubled over laughing.

_Bella made him take off his clothes. Yeah. Right. Blame Bella._

_I can't believe Alice didn't tell me about this before it happened._

Even Carlisle held back a grin.

Rosalie smiled and waited for my response. I stared her down. "I didn't strip at all. You saw what I looked like after fighting with Emmett. I was a mess. I didn't even think about it when I left to see Bella. Not until she noticed."

"So you're telling me that you just sat around in your underwear talking all night?" Emmett smirked.

"Actually, I'm not telling you anything." I paused for a moment, remembering the evening, the feel of Bella's body in my arms. "But we did talk." I smiled and headed for the stairs. I planned to spend the next few hours basking in the memories from last night. That is, until Emmett followed me upstairs. I glared at him. "I said I wasn't telling you anything."

"I didn't come to ask about that. I know you wouldn't say anything. Although it is hard to resist an opportunity to give you a hard time. You did, after all, come home in your underwear." He chuckled. I started to cut him off, but he interrupted me. "I came to see how it went. I assume things are better between you and Bella?"

"She doesn't hate me." I exhaled slowly at the door of my room. "She was worried that you hurt me." I grinned. Emmett rolled his eyes. "And she's going to be angry again later today when the roses arrive."

"You seem awfully happy about her being mad at you," he laughed.

I smiled. "She forgave me."

_Clearly, things are going even better than I anticipated._ "And apparently, she took your clothes off," he grinned.

I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Obviously, he wasn't going to tire of this any time soon. In all probability, no one in my family would. "Emmett…"

"Did she kiss you?" He raised his eyebrows expectantly. _She did, didn't she? She kissed you._

"It's rude to kiss and tell." I frowned.

"So there was kissing?" _No wonder you're so happy._

I looked away. Oh, there was kissing. But I wasn't going to tell Emmett about it. "Go away, Emmett." Go away so I can think about Bella.

"Just one more word of advice Edward," he whispered as he left my room. "Don't blow it this time."


	17. Existentialism

**The next part is here**...but let me clear up some misconceptions first:

Based on my in-box (on several of my in-boxes, actually) it seems like half the world is confused. Note, I said seems like, not that it is. Without further ado, let me answer a few questions and clarify some details.

1. **BME and I are writing stories together under the name "silly escape"** -- and enjoying it thoroughly. At least, I'm enjoying thoroughly. She might not be, since it means she has to work with me, but she's far too nice to say, "You are driving me crazy!" Right now we have only the one story, **Jealousy**. It's pretty funny, if I do say so myself. (Cocoa and Copper & Sunshine said so, too, though, so that seems to be the concensus.) We're working on another story... this one a little more angsty. But we are "silly escape" as in the "silly" from "sillybella" and the "escape" from "Be My Escape" -- nice how that works out, huh? We sound like a frivolous vacation. But isn't that the best kind?

2. **I will continue writing under the name "sillybella"** (or "sillybella" on This means that yes, I will be finishing OB2 (aka: The Past Comes Back To Bite You). I will be adding to Breaking Boundaries. I will continue writing bi-polar one-shots (and maybe turning a couple of them into series of related one-shots). I am also working on a short story series, a short sequel to OB2 (all the action happens in one day, but it's a lot of action), a series of related one-shots, and a multitude of one-shots. Just try to shut me up.

3. **BME will continue writing under the name "Be My Escape"** (or "be my escape1" on This means that yes, she will continue writing her fabulous Jacob story Responsibilities. If you haven't read it yet, you should. In fact, you should read all of her stuff. It all really good. I mean really good! And while she's on a Jacob obsession right now, she just wrote a little CarlislexEsme romance. GRRRRRRRRR Carlisle. sigh

_Perhaps links would help. (If they don't show up, then it's a site thing, because they are in the note)  
_  
**For the silly escape's premiere story, Jealousy:  
  
_On Pel's site  
_**** if you are Finnish or read Finnish, there will soon be a translation of OB2 in Finnish. The first part is already translated. I'll share the site with you when I get it. _sillybella waves to Finnish fans _**

OK...are we all clear? Questions? Comments? Conspiracy theories?

**I now return you to your regualr programming:**

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**17 Existentialism**_

by silly bella

I'd been reading for three pages, and I had no idea what I'd read. Would he come tonight? Or would I fall asleep alone with this book? I shut my eyes. Maybe last night was enough for him. Maybe it was all a dream. Of course, dreams couldn't send dozens of roses with Shakespearean sonnets attached to them. "If I could write the beauty of your eyes and in fresh numbers number all your graces, the age to come would say, 'This poet lies: such heavenly touches ne'er touch'd earthly faces.'" I took a deep breath. I'd always been a bit partial to sonnet eighteen. If this were real, and not a dream, I suppose that alone might be reason enough to forgive him for the fifteen dozen roses that arrived today. The whole house smelled like roses.

"It's hard to read with your eyes closed." His smooth velvet voice came from the corner of the room.

My breath shuddered as I exhaled. I was afraid to open my eyes. Afraid I'd imagined his voice. There had been a time when I'd done that often. Too often. I didn't know what I'd do if I looked and no one was there. If that perfect, musical voice was really in my head.

"Bella? Are you all right?" His voice was near, his fingers tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. His hands, so cool, brushed against my skin. Talk about your heavenly touches. And then I felt him, his body spooned against mine, his arms wrapped around me, his lips pressed against my neck. He felt pretty real.

Of course, he could still be a dream. For all I knew, I might still be in Florida, the past month telescoped into one night's fantastic delusion. Perhaps I should be careful, lest I wake up. I settled against him, the coolness of his body somehow comforting. This wasn't bad, as dreams went, although I wouldn't mind a little more action. I turned to face him, smiling as my fingers traced the familiar contours of his face.

He had to be a dream. I held his face in my hands as I kissed him. I wrapped my ankle around his calve. And then he was gone.

"What are you thinking?" he hissed from the darkness.

"I thought you were a dream," I whispered, the red slowly creeping into my cheeks.

"A dream?" he laughed. He approached the bed slowly and settled back beside me. "Do you dream about me often?"

Too embarrassed to answer, I blushed. I'd dreamed of him far too often over the years. And in ways far too inappropriate for a married woman to dream about a man other than her husband.

"I'll take that as a yes," he breathed quietly into my ear. I still didn't speak. "So when did this particular dream begin?"

"When I saw you there at the top of my stairs, and it felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach," I whispered. The memory came easily, that feeling of bewilderment and fear for my own sanity when I saw him standing there after all those years.

His lips touched me, cool caresses against the warmth of my skin. He traced a path with his kisses, ending at the notch between my collarbones. "Perhaps that might convince you that I'm real. Or maybe this." His fingers outlined my lips before his kiss, his breath, made my world spin. "Do you believe I'm real now?" I nodded. "So what gave me away?"

"When I kissed you, and you jumped off the bed," I grinned.

He frowned for a moment, puzzled.

"Trust me, in my dreams that isn't what you do." I felt a little embarrassed as I confessed this to him.

When he realized what I meant, he lowered his chin and murmured, "Oh." He kissed me again, and I held him tightly.

This was no dream, but it wasn't an easy reality, either. First of all, there was Marietta. How could I explain this to her? Even if she'd never developed a crush on Edward, this wouldn't be a walk in the park. After all, to all appearances, Edward was much closer to her age than mine. And Edward's family couldn't stay in Forks for any length of time. Someone would recognize them and realize that they hadn't aged a bit in fifteen years. This was impossible, although right now none of that mattered.

He brushed his hands over my face, his fingers twining into my hair. The slight pressure of his fingers against my skin pushed my doubts away. At least for the time- being. "So what were you reading?" I rolled my eyes. He reached over me to pick up the book. "A vampire novel?"

"Not just a vampire novel. A trashy vampire novel." Might as well 'fess up.

"This instead of the classics?" He looked at me curiously. "When did your reading tastes change so much?" He grinned, clearly amused by my choice of reading.

"I still read the classics." As long as I was confessing… "But I started reading vampire novels when I did my graduate work in English. My master's thesis was about the evolution of the vampire in literature and popular culture." He chuckled. "You laugh, but it was quite therapeutic."

His forehead wrinkled, and he seemed puzzled. "How, exactly, was it therapeutic?"

"A number of ways, actually. Do you have any idea how boring it is to listen to someone talk about a master's thesis? By writing about vampires, I assured myself that no one, absolutely no one, would ever bring up vampires around me again. No one would ever ask me to go to a vampire movie – or any kind of horror movie, for that matter – for fear a vampire might show up." I paused, swallowing before I continued. "And there were the vampire characters themselves. Did you know you're a stereotype?"

He frowned. "A stereotype?"

"Oh, yes. Most definitely." It was my turn to grin. "Moody, brooding vampires filled with self-loathing. Anne Rice's Louis, Nancy Collins' Sonja Blue, L. A. Banks' Carlos, Joss Whedon's Angel. Modern existentialism in its most publicly accessible form."

"Angel's television, not literature," he noted. "And he's whiny. I am _not _whiny."

I nodded. "Hence the 'popular culture' angle. Colleges teach courses about Buffy now. Didn't you know?"

"You _really_ think I'm a stereotype?" Obviously, that _really_ bothered him.

"If it makes you feel better, I'm a stereotype, too. The human who loves a vampire. Although I'd be the anti-Buffy. No super-powers for me, unless you count being a danger magnet as a super power." He laughed with me on that one.

Then his expression became serious. "I'm sorry, Bella. I never imagined all the possible repercussions of my actions."

"There are an infinite number of reactions to every action. You couldn't possibly imagine every single one of them or you'd still be thinking about whether or not you should have left. I didn't tell you that to make you feel bad or to elicit another apology. I told you because it's the truth and you don't want me to edit what I think." I sighed and touched his face. That cool, marble perfection.

He took my hands in his and kissed my fingertips, my palms, my wrists. "I'm glad you told me. I always want to know what you're thinking. Exactly what you're thinking. Even if it might make me feel moody, broody and filled with self-loathing." He smiled and kissed my wrists again. "And once we explain things to Marietta, I can see you any time."

"Oooooh." What on earth to tell Marietta? How to tell her? "What do we tell her?"

"The truth," he stated quietly.

I sighed. "Of course we tell her the truth. But how do we tell her? Or, more exactly, how do I tell her?"

"You don't have to tell her. I can, if you want," he offered.

"What would you say?" Maybe it would be the perfect thing.

He shrugged. "I'd have to explain to her about being a vampire. That I met you when you were seventeen. That I've loved you since then."

"Just like that? I don't know if that's best. It would be so much easier if she didn't have a crush on you." Why did he have to be so damned loveable? "I should do it. Just give me a little time."

"Tell her soon, please." His mouth formed a tight line that turned his expression suddenly serious. "I don't want to hide being with you. I want more than that."

I nodded and whispered, "I will." But for now, all I wanted to do was lie in his arms and ignore the rest of the world.


	18. A Little Dreaming Is Dangerous

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**A Little Dreaming Is Dangerous**_

by silly bella

I reached for him and whispered his name. "Edward."

"Mom! Did you just say Edward?" Marietta's shriek startled me awake. I sat bolt upright and looked around the room.

He'd been beside me in my dream, but I knew he wasn't really there. He'd been gone last night. Hunting. Of course, even if he had been there, Marietta would never have seen him.

"You did. You were dreaming about Edward and you said his name." She rolled her eyes in disgust. "That's just gross, Mom. He's seventeen. Can't you get arrested for that?"

I sighed. "Well, in my dream he'd been around considerably longer than seventeen years."

"You're kidding. Your subconscious made him older? Mom, that's just creepy." She frowned. "You need a date. A real one. Not something with Uncle Gary. And not one with jail bait, either. If Edward were a year younger, he'd be half your age!"

Exactly what I needed to hear.

"What was he doing in your dream? And by that, I mean not just what was he doing in _your dream_, but what was he _doing_ in your dream?" She was indignant.

However, I wasn't about to tell my child about my dreams of Edward, be they perfectly innocent or X-rated. The matter was, decidedly, none of her business.

She wasn't ready to let it drop. "It must be really bad if you won't say anything."

I frowned. What had she heard? Just his name? Or something more? Had I said I loved him? According to Edward, I tended to say that quite a bit in my sleep. What would she think if she heard that? What exactly had I been dreaming? I awakened with such a start, the details had slipped my mind.

"And he isn't just _any_ seventeen-year-old boy, Mom. He's the _one_ that I like." Tears brimmed in her eyes. She blinked to keep them from spilling over. "It's like one of those talk shows. Me, my mother, and _our_ boyfriend."

I knew that feeling of having your heart exposed to the double edge of hope and fear when you find yourself wanting someone so much and wondering if he could possibly want you, too. And I knew how it felt when that someone was Edward. Why did he have to be so damned charming? So attractive? So alluring to both me and my daughter?

Best to change the subject. "What is it you wanted?"

Still outraged, Marietta hesitated. She stared at me for a moment, her lips pursed, indignant. Finally, she spoke. "I thought maybe today we could do some back-to-school shopping. I know Seattle is a bit of a drive, but we could see what we can find in Port Angeles." She gave me a doubtful look. "My Florida wardrobe isn't going to go very far here."

She was absolutely right. I knew from experience. "Let me take a shower," I mumbled, "and grab something to eat."

"Eggs and bacon on the way. It'll be ready by the time you come downstairs," she assured me, smiling brightly but still blinking away the tears.

I yawned and stretched trying to wake myself up. How could I stop her from hurting so much? If this morning was any indication as to how she might handle a relationship between Edward and me, we were already on shaky ground. I staggered into the bathroom and turned on the water. I made it as hot as I could stand before slipping out of my gown and into the shower.

The warm water was soothing. Maybe it would spark some brilliant idea for explaining the situation to Marietta. How had Renée brought up her relationship with Phil? He was much younger. But he was an adult. Edward, on the other hand, while really older than me, looked like a kid. I wasn't sure I could explain it the same way at all. After all, there was only a nine year difference between Renée and Phil. Edward and I had either a fifteen or eighty-eight year difference, depending on how you looked at it. Not the same thing. Not at all. Besides, I'd never had a crush on Phil.

What exactly was the right way to bring up to your daughter that you were seeing a vampire? One who happened to look seventeen. Even without the added difficulty of her crush on him, it was an impossible situation.

The water beat against my body as I lathered my hair. I practiced opening up the topic. "Mari Alice, you know how I pointed out that Edward was older in my dream? Well, he really is older." Right. That would work well.

"Do you believe in vampires, Mari Alice? Would you feel comfortable if I were seeing one? Romantically, I mean? Even if he looked much younger than I do?" She'd probably think I was insane.

Maybe I should let Edward tell her.

No. That would be too hard on her. It was bad enough that the 'boy' she liked wanted to be with her mother. To have him explain that to her would hurt too much. Why did life with Edward always have to be so complicated? Or maybe it was life with me that was so complicated.

I sighed, rinsing my hair before I stepped out of the shower. I dried quickly and threw on some jeans and a shirt before I brushed my teeth. I would think of something to tell her. Soon.


	19. No News Is Good News

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**No News Is Good News**_

by silly bella

When I climbed through Bella's window, her room was empty. I sat in the rocking chair to wait. Marietta slept soundly as she dreamt of racing shopping carts through a grocery store. Although the dream was strange, it didn't seem anxious or tense, so I assumed that Marietta was taking the news well. I wondered what Bella had told her. I smiled wryly as Marietta's cart spun around a corner and knocked over a display.

"What's so amusing?" Bella asked as she entered the room. Her hair was wet and braided, dark against her pale skin, setting off her neck. She wore a deep blue nightgown that made her skin look beautiful.

"Marietta's dream. It's a little…" I paused, trying to think of an appropriate description. I finally settled for, "Odd," although it didn't seem to quite do justice to the strangeness.

Bella shrugged. "Dreams usually are."

I held my arms open, and she snuggled up in my lap. "My dreams wouldn't be odd, if I could have them. They would be beautiful, because they would be of you."

"That might get boring after a while," she laughed.

"Never," I assured her. "I wish I could see your dreams."

"Lately, that would be a lot like looking in a mirror for you." The sound of her laughter made me swallow. I had missed everything about her. Losing her for so long made even the sound of her breathing a treasure.

I rocked back in the chair and let the tip of my nose run along her neck. "Marietta seems to have taken the news well."

She sighed, frowning as she hung her head. "I haven't told her yet."

"Bella, you must tell her. Waiting will only make it more difficult for you and her." And I was selfish – I didn't want to hide how I felt about her.

"This would be so much easier if she didn't have a crush on you." Bella brought her hand to her forehead and rubbed. "She woke me up this morning. I was dreaming about you." She blushed, and I stroked her cheek. "She heard me say your name and freaked."

I frowned. "Why would that bother her so? I really haven't done anything to mislead her."

Bella stared at me, incredulous. "Are you totally oblivious? She thinks you're seventeen and I'm a perv."

"Oh," the thought shocked me. "All the more reason to tell her the truth as soon as possible."

"We went to see Charlie today, too. Of all days for him to pick to think she's me." Bella shook her head. "He was calling her me and asking about you. You can't begin to imagine how much that freaked her out. She kept asking me about it on the way home."

"That would have been a perfect opportunity to tell her, Bella," I pointed out.

"No. It upsets her when Charlie doesn't recognize her. I don't think it's a good idea to tell her something like this when she's already upset." Bella swallowed and sat quietly, her head leaned against my chest. I tangled her hair in my fingers and rocked slowly trying to sooth her.

I desperately wanted her to tell Marietta. I wanted to sit beside Bella and hold her hand. I wanted to kiss her without being afraid of her daughter seeing us. I wanted to stop eating chicken in order to be able to be around her. I wanted things to be as normal as possible, under the circumstances.

Not that we could ever have a _normal_ relationship. I was a vampire. She was a human. I wanted her blood. I would always want her blood. There was something so terribly wrong about that. More wrong than anything Marietta could imagine.

"Edward, I'll tell her. I just have to think of the right thing to say. Give me a little more time," Bella whispered, leaning her head against my chest.

Time. Usually it was something I didn't worry about. After all, I had eternity. But I didn't have eternity with Bella. Every second with her was as precious as a lifetime. But if she needed time to make things right with Marietta, I would give her time. I would give her anything she wanted.


	20. My Mother Is Mrs Robinson

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**My Mother Is Mrs. Robinson**_

by silly bella

"Mom!" Marietta shrieked.

I ran up the stairs, hoping I wouldn't trip on the way. I couldn't imagine what might be wrong. Or worse, I could imagine. I made it to the door and threw it open. Marietta knelt on the floor. Or rather, beside what appeared to be a hole in the floor. She shot me a horrified look.

She held out some papers and whispered, "Mom, what are these?" I couldn't imagine how a few papers could cause such a reaction. Not until I looked at them.

The photograph was unmistakable. Edward. Here. In the kitchen. Fifteen years ago. And another, folded in half, his face beautiful as ever but empty of emotion and me, looking plain and average. With them were yellowed sheets of paper. Airline vouchers bearing my name and Edward's.

It was impossible. He'd taken them. Why would he have given them to her? To force my hand? He wanted me to explain things to her, but I couldn't figure out how to do it without hurting her. Scaring her. Freaking her out. No. He wanted me to tell her, but he wouldn't do that. So how did she end up with them?

"Where did you get these?" I asked, my voice trembling.

"I accidentally kicked the floorboard loose. They were underneath. Along with this." She produced a CD. She frowned and raised her eyebrows. "This doesn't make any sense. That's Edward. And that's you. He's too old now for this to be his father, but he's too young for this to be him. I know he has two brothers, but I don't think either of them is old enough for this to be one of them. I don't understand, Mom." Her face crumpled in confusion.

"It's kind of difficult to explain," I murmured. I still had no way to explain without sounding crazy. But I knew I had no choice. Well, maybe one option. Sort of. "Come on. Let's get in the car." She followed me numbly down the stairs and out to the SUV. I drove to the Cullen's house as fast as I could. Edward was at the door before I could put the truck into park.

"Bella, what's wrong?" he asked.

I swallowed and took a deep breath. "Is Carlisle here?"

"Are you hurt? Is Marietta hurt?" He glanced at me, then Marietta, looking for some evidence of injury.

"We're not hurt. It's not that." I reached back in the car for the pictures and handed them to him. "I don't know how to explain. I was hoping Carlisle might be able to help."

He wrapped his arms around me as I stepped out of the car. "I can explain if you want me to."

I looked over my shoulder at Marietta, who sat open-mouthed, staring at us in obvious shock. "I'm not sure you're the best person to do that. I'm not sure I am either, even if I knew what to say. I was hoping Carlisle might help."

He nodded and released me, keeping one arm over my shoulders. We crossed to the other side of the truck where Marietta sat, stiff and still. Edward spoke softly to her, "There are some things you need know. Bella would like for my father to explain them to you. Come inside."

"This doesn't make sense. It doesn't make any sense," Marietta mumbled.

Edward gave her a wry grin. "No, it doesn't make much sense at all. But if anyone can explain it, Carlisle can."

"Who's Carlisle?" Marietta mouthed.

"He's my father," Edward stated. "He'll help."

Marietta blinked and shook her head as if to clear it. She still looked stunned. This is what I'd been trying to avoid, only I'd made it worse than ever by not saying anything. After a moment's pause, she stepped out of the car and followed us into the house.

Inside, Marietta's eyes roved over the room taking in everything and everyone. "Where is your father?" she asked, looking hesitantly at Edward.

Carlisle stepped forward and introduced himself. Marietta stared, clearly confused by his apparent youth. Her gaze shifted uncertainly between Carlisle and Edward. My voice shook. "I was hoping you could help explain things, Carlisle. I don't know how to tell her. What to tell her."

He smiled, reassuring me. "I believe I can handle that." He turned to Marietta. "Why don't you come with me? We can talk in my office. There will be fewer distractions there." She glanced at me and then followed Carlisle up the stairs. I exhaled slowly, trying to compose myself. I was a horrible parent.

"What happened?" Alice whispered. "I saw you coming, but I didn't see anything before that."

I pointed to the pictures and papers in Edward's hand. "She found those under the floorboards." I lowered my head, ashamed. "I hadn't told her anything. It wasn't the best way for her to find out." I caught Edward's worried gaze. "I should have told her sooner. I should have listened to you. I just didn't know what to say."

"So she didn't know about you and Edward?" Emmett asked. "Does she still have a crush on him?"

"Not as much. She was getting over that." I clenched my hands into fists. "I thought I'd let her work through that and then try to explain things to her. Obviously, that wasn't the best idea. I'm the worst parent ever."

Jasper laughed quietly and stepped beside me. He placed his hand on my shoulder. I felt better immediately. Calmer. Much less ready to break down. "Thank you," I murmured.

"And you're not the worst parent ever. Most parents don't have to explain things like old boyfriends who haven't gotten any older." Even Jasper's voice was soothing. "Under the circumstances, I think you're handling this remarkably well."

When Jasper lifted his hand, Edward walked me to the couch. I leaned against him, confused. "How did she find those things? You took them when you left."

He ruffled his hand through my hair then lifted my chin so I had to face him. "But I didn't take them. I put them there, under the floorboards. I wanted to leave something of myself with you. A selfish part of me hoped you'd find them. Part of me was afraid you would, afraid it might hurt you even more. It never crossed my mind that Marietta might find them. I'm so sorry, Bella." He pressed his lips against my forehead, letting them linger there after his kiss. I sighed, relaxing in his arms.

Esme, who had disappeared silently, returned with a steaming mug. "Some herbal tea, dear." She handed it off to me and sat on my other side. "Everything will be fine. You can count on Carlisle," She reassured me.

I sipped my tea, my confidence building. Carlisle had more parenting experience than anyone I knew. If anyone could make this right, he could. But it all came crashing down when everyone in the room but me turned to look at the top of the stairs. I held my breath as Carlisle and Marietta appeared. Neither of them spoke as they walked down to the living room.

Marietta stared at each of the Cullens in turn as if evaluating them. Then she turned to me. "Obviously, I was wrong about our talk show topic. It would be me, my mom, her seventeen-year-old vampire boyfriend that I had a crush on, and his vampire family. And when we finish, we can open our own mental ward."


	21. So Not Fair

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**So Not Fair**_

by silly bella

Marietta gave me a loathsome stare. _I can't believe I had a crush on him. I mean, he's with my mother. This is so not fair! I hate him. I hate them both. What was I thinking? _

At least she was over her crush. One less thing for me to worry about.

Bella started to speak, but Marietta interrupted her. "It's going to take me a while to get used to you dating a seventeen-year-old. Even if he is a hundred-and-twenty." _That's creepy. It's just creepy. I hate him._

All right, maybe not one less thing for me to worry about. More like a _different _thing for me to worry about.

Then she played the trump card. The pain hit me, so strong it was almost physical. Even Jasper nearly doubled over from my emotions. He lowered his brows as he looked at me. But I couldn't tell him what I saw through Marietta's mind. I couldn't tell him about Tony, holding Bella on his lap, his arms wrapped tightly around her as he kissed her. All I could do was clench my hands into fists as Marietta narrowed her eyes in my direction and bombarded me with images of her parents. Did she know that I could see them exactly as she remembered them in her thoughts? Could she have possibly guessed?

Bella felt me stiffen and gazed my direction to reassure me, then turned back to her daughter as Marietta began to look around the room. Her eyes lit on Alice. "So you would be the Alice I'm named after."

Alice nodded, her grin enormous. Marietta rolled her eyes. "Whatever." _My mother is crazy. Bonkers. Insane. Nuts. I wonder if they'll make me live with Gram Marietta or Gram Renée when they lock her up? _Then Marietta glanced at Esme. _She's not old enough to be any of these people's mother._ And at Jasper. _He seems a little broody._ Rosalie. _She's so beautiful._ And Emmett. _Obviously, I've been focused on the wrong brother._ "Hi," she grinned.

Marietta tucked her chin a bit and fluttered her eyelids. She walked towards Emmett and held out her hand. "I'm Marietta. And you would be?"

Emmett didn't speak at first. It was Rosalie who laughed and said, "He would be Emmett."

I pressed my lips together to stop the laughter before I whispered to Bella, "She's over her crush on me. Emmett's in for some trouble, though."

"Oh, really?" Bella laughed and raised her eyebrows at Emmett.

Emmett stared at me, and I knew he'd heard. _Tell her no worries, brother. I've got Rosalie. _

Rosalie eyed Marietta appraisingly. _This is Bella's daughter? She has such poise._

A low growl erupted from my chest.

_Don't be so sensitive, Edward. It's just an observation. She could be interesting. Much more interesting than her mother._

What exactly did Rosalie have in mind? Marietta grinned at Rosalie. "You're incredibly beautiful. I wish I looked like you."

Rosalie grinned. "Why, thank you." She flashed a triumphant smile at me. I rolled my eyes and glanced at Bella. Her lips formed a tiny, perfect 'o' as she watched her daughter and Rosalie in disbelief. Emmett, always able to find humor in any situation, laughed, which drew Marietta's attention back to him.

She sighed and fluttered her lashes. _He's smiling at me._

Alice's jaw dropped. _Of course. That's why she was so familiar when she was flirting with you. She acts like Rosalie. Unbelievable. She looks like Bella and acts like Rosalie. No wonder she drives you nuts._ Alice bit back her laughter.

Shocked by the comparison, I remembered my own response when I first met Marietta. She'd liked attracting attention. She'd reminded me of Rosalie. I wondered if Bella had noticed this and how she felt about it if she had.

Emmett coughed uncomfortably. _This is not my fault. I didn't do anything._

Rosalie's grin grew even broader. "He is hot, isn't he?" She winked conspiratorially at Marietta. "Great minds think alike."

Marietta's eyes widened. "But… but he's your brother." _Unbelievable. This family is unbelievable. Did they recognize any taboos? I'll bet they could fuel a week of talk shows. Maybe more._

"Not exactly," Rosalie rolled her eyes. "Come on; let's go have some fun while I explain the dynamics of my family to you." Without waiting for a response from Marietta, she turned, tossing her hair over her shoulder and headed, at human speed so Marietta could follow, up the stairs. Marietta followed, executing the exact same movements, although not quite as graceful as Rosalie's exit. Still, for a human, it was amazing how well she carried herself.

Emmett grinned at Bella and exclaimed, "I'm not missing this!" before he raced behind them to the second floor. Bella sat awestruck next to me.

"Well, that was interesting," Jasper deadpanned.

"More like disturbing." Alice stared wistfully up the stairs. _She's my namesake. She's supposed to like me._ "How did that happen?" I understood perfectly.

"You have no idea how disturbing. Trust me, I could read their thoughts, too." I shook my head. "I need to purge my brain."

Bella frowned. "Want to explain that?"

"I believe," Jasper spoke with authority, "that my brother is experiencing cognitive dissonance at the combination of your daughter's appearance and personality. The living image of you acting like Rosalie might have put him over the edge." He grinned at me. "You going to be all right, Edward?"

Before I could respond, Bella interjected frantically, "But what are they doing?"

Carlisle paused briefly, and then said, "I believe Rosalie is fixing her hair. They're talking about how it holds curl."

Jasper snickered. _You should see your face, Edward._

"You have got to be kidding," Bella stammered. "Mari Alice and Rosalie are playing Guinea Pig Barbie?"

"Unbelievable," muttered Alice. _And so not fair._

"All things considered, quite a positive outcome. It could have been much worse," Carlisle observed. "Marietta is quite a resilient child. She seems to have taken the whole situation in stride."

Bella seemed relieved by Carlisle's comments. "She's OK, then. She understands?" There was hope in Bella's voice.

"I don't know that I'd go so far as to say that she _understands_. She's incredibly angry, but she's fine. And she seems to be having a good time with Rosalie and Emmett," Carlisle reassured her.

"Bella, why don't I bring you some more tea? It appears you've had a difficult day; maybe one cup wasn't enough," Esme was there, soothing Bella's anxiety. Jasper smiled. I knew he was helping, too. I could hear her heartbeat slowing down to a normal pace instead of the frantic cadence it had drummed earlier.

Marietta knew. It made me smile because I didn't have to hide my feelings for Bella anymore. And, relatively speaking, Marietta had accepted the situation. I could be happy with Bella. I inhaled her scent as she sat beside me on the couch and kept smiling, even as my throat burned with thirst. I looked forward to the constant fire, the never-ending temptation. As far as I was concerned, this was heaven.


	22. Invitation

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Invitation**_

by silly bella

The nice thing about Marietta knowing about the Cullens was that Edward could visit any time. Marietta might roll her eyes and avoid him, but at least I didn't have to worry about hiding how I felt about him. And he was here often. We talked and he watched me, not just when I slept, but when I did day-to-day things like pay bills. That's what I was doing now, sorting through the envelopes and writing checks.

"What's that one?" He pointed to an envelope that was different than the rest, its creamy, stiff paper standing out from the utilitarian bills.

"It's a wedding invitation. I need to R.S.V.P." I set the envelope to the side.

He raised his eyebrows. "Are you going?"

I frowned and nodded.

"You don't look very happy about it." He reached for my hand, his fingers running lightly over mine.

"It's a long trip. But it'll be good to see people. Most people, at least," I murmured.

He nodded, his eyes burning into mine. "So, does Marietta like weddings?"

I laughed. "She's not going for the wedding. She's going to visit her grandmothers."

He grinned, his hand reaching for the card. "The invitation is for two." His voice was almost a whisper.

"Are you saying that you want to go with me to a wedding in sunny Florida?" I tried to hide the shock in my voice.

"Unless you don't want me there," he murmured.

"Edward, it's in Florida! You know, the Sunshine State." Perhaps he'd lost his mind.

He frowned. "I can at least be with you part of the time. And we could check with Alice. Maybe the weather will cooperate." His cell phone rang. He glanced at it, raising his eyebrows as he answered. He listened for a moment and a smile spread across his face. "Thanks, Alice." He met my eyes. "She says we'll need night arrival and departure times, but that Saturday will be a perfect day. At least, for a vampire."

"You really want to go?" I asked hesitantly.

"I've been away from you for far too long. Even a weekend without you is more than I can endure," he pleaded, reaching for my hand. "Unless, of course, you're embarrassed to be seen with me."

"So… shall I put you down for the chicken or the fish?" I giggled, slipping the R.S.V.P. card out of his hand.

He dropped his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. "They will both be equally distasteful to me. Why don't you put down one for each choice? That way, if what you pick isn't appealing when it arrives, you can have mine."

"Mom, are you taking him to a wedding? Other people will be there. Won't they think it's strange if you show up with a seventeen year old?" I hadn't noticed when Marietta came in.

"No one has to tell them he's seventeen. Just like no one has to tell them he's one-hundred-and-twenty." I couldn't be too upset with her. All things considered, she was taking this well.

Edward sighed quietly. "If it's an issue, I can stay here."

Marietta raised her eyebrows and stared at me triumphantly.

"It is not an issue," I said without looking away from my daughter.

"So I have to spend the whole weekend around the two of you?" She rolled her eyes in distaste.

"First of all, you are spending part of the weekend with your Gram Renée and the other part with your Gram Marietta." I frowned, hesitating. I hadn't thought about where we would stay. I couldn't just show up at Renée's with Edward in tow. Aside from the fact that he hadn't aged in fifteen years, and as oblivious as she was, my mother would surely notice that, there was also the matter of my reaction to him leaving. Or, more specifically, Renée's reaction to my reaction. She couldn't see Edward. Absolutely. Could. Not. "You won't have to be around us at all. We're staying at a hotel."

Marietta narrowed her eyes. "I thought –"

"We're staying at a hotel," I interrupted.

Edward sat quietly, watching us both carefully. Marietta shot him an angry glance and he inhaled sharply. "Why don't you let me handle the reservations? It will be three of us traveling instead of just the two of you, and you hadn't planned on staying in a hotel before, either. My traveling needs may mean more expensive flights, too. It's only fair if I take care of it."

I glared at Marietta. When had she learned Edward could read minds? She'd obviously let him know through her thoughts that I had planned to stay with Renée and that the plane tickets were outrageous. He wouldn't drop it, now.

"Besides, if I recall, I owe you two plane tickets to Jacksonville, since the vouchers Carlisle and Esme gave you have long since expired." He grinned sheepishly. He was so hard to resist.

Before I could respond, Marietta sighed loudy and proclaimed, "Fine, Mom. Let everyone think you're going through a mid-life crisis and dating under-aged boys." She rolled her eyes. Then she turned to Edward. "And you. I hope the sun comes out all weekend!" She turned and ran up the stairs. I heard her slam the door to her room.

Edward was laughing. "This is not funny."

"You can't hear what she's thinking right now. I can." He chuckled as he spoke.

I raised my eyebrows, worried about the answer. "Oh?"

"She's speculating on whether or not any of the myths about vampires are true. She's debating if she could stake me, or burn me with a cross, or bar my way with holy water. She's done her homework; she's even found the myth about distracting OCD vampires with seeds, because for some reason, vampires have a compulsion to pick up seeds." He smirked.

"OK, so that is funny," I grinned. "And when did she learn that you could read minds. I know she shot some information at you earlier."

He nodded. "Catch that, did you? I think Rosalie told her. You know that she's spending an awful lot of time with Rosalie, don't you?"

"Yes, I do. Apparently Rosalie enjoys playing dress-up with Mari Alice." I bit my lip nervously. "I keep expecting to hear that in a fit of pique, Rosalie bit her."

Edward's bark of laughter filled the room. "I don't think that's something you really need to worry about. I told you that Rosalie had great tenacity. She's too stubborn to bite Marietta."

"By the way, how's Emmett holding up?" I wondered if Marietta's crush had worn down his good nature yet.

"Emmett seems to find her amusing. You know how he is about human expressions. Of course, it's a totally different situation than her crush on me, for a great many reasons." He shrugged, and rolling his eyes, continued, "Apparently, it's quite a game for the three of them. It's all rather strange, but perfectly harmless."

Although Marietta liked Carlisle and Esme, the only Cullen 'children' she showed any interest in at all were Rosalie and Emmett. It struck me as odd that Marietta got along so well with Rosalie, but I wasn't complaining. Not surprisingly, she'd done a total about-face regarding Edward. She also hadn't warmed up to Alice at all, and she seemed a bit afraid of Jasper. It crushed Alice, who wanted so much to bond with her namesake. Edward took it in stride, although he continually looked for any possible means to try to win her over.

I heard Marietta stomping back down the stairs. She came to the doorway and announced, "And I'm not sitting by him on the airplane. I'm not sitting by either of you!" Then she flounced away.

With a heavy sigh, I whispered to Edward, "I need to have a little mother-daughter talk with her."

He winked and assured me, "I'll get her a window seat on the row in front of us. That way, she doesn't have to sit by you or me, but we can keep an eye on her." He squeezed my hand as I left the table. I grinned. The window seat would probably be first class, something different for both of us. I felt certain the hotel 'room' would be a luxury suite as well. But I couldn't afford to argue. This was one time I'd swallow my pride. Meanwhile, I needed to calm Marietta down.

She was outside fuming. "Mom, really, this is ridiculous. People are going to think you're crazy if you show up with him as your date. And if Gram Marietta sees him or hears about him, she'll probably try to have you committed. Gram Renée might understand because of Phil, but I don't think anyone else will. It's embarrassing, Mom. I had a crush on him, and I thought he liked me. But the whole time he was coming to see you."

"If it makes you feel any better, at first I thought he was here because of you, too." I smoothed my hand through her hair.

"R-r-r-really?" she stammered, her voice catching.

I nodded. "It was a long time before I realized he was here because of me. I should have told you, but I couldn't think of the right thing to say. I'm sorry you had to find out the way you did."

"Well, I really don't think there's a _right_ way to explain that. At least not without sounding crazy. If it hadn't been for the picture, I'd have never listened long enough to believe Carlisle." She took a deep breath and frowned. "It still bothers me, Mom. And what about Daddy? How could you love him if you never stopped loving Edward?"

Perhaps this was more about that than anything else, the normal fears any child has when she thinks someone might try to step into her father's place. "Of course I loved your father, sweetheart. Loving Edward doesn't change that, just as loving your father didn't stop me from loving Edward. It's hard to explain. Love isn't a simple emotion."

"So I don't have any choice in this? He's staying around here and going back to Jacksonville with us for the wedding." She stared at me, her face glum.

"I don't know yet what's in store for the long term, but yes, for now, he's sticking around, and he's coming with us to Jacksonville." I couldn't help but wonder about the long-term myself.

"Fine," she groaned before she stalked back into the house. Was I like that when I was thirteen? I didn't think so, but it might explain a great deal about Renée. Maybe I'd driven her crazy. I followed Marietta inside.

Edward waited quietly in the kitchen. Before I could sit, he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into his lap. His lips traced a path over my shoulder and along my neck. Then he whispered, "It could be worse. At least her adolescent rebellion doesn't involve killing people."

I laughed, almost certain he was joking. Then I leaned my head against his shoulder and tried to forget about everything but his arms around me.


	23. Playing Doctor

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Playing Doctor**_

by silly bella

I sautéed some chicken breasts as I reviewed the recipe. I'd already added rice, celery, carrots and onions to the broth. I should probably go ahead and toss in the garlic. I reached for the bowl.

"Isn't that supposed to scare you? Or burn you? Or something like that?" Marietta sneered.

"Myth," I mumbled. As if a mere plant could scare me. Hah!

"For someone who doesn't eat, you seem pretty comfortable in the kitchen. Where did you learn to cook?" It wasn't often that Marietta was this talkative. Usually she glared at me sullenly. Once she learned I knew what she was thinking, she started projecting images of Bella with Tony. Sometimes that was excruciating. Today, her mind was remarkably focused on me cooking as well as her mother, upstairs in the bed coughing, hacking, sneezing and blowing her nose.

"I watch the Food Network," I replied.

She raised her eyebrows. "Why?"

"Honestly?" I asked. She nodded encouragingly. "When I dated your mother in high school, I decided that I needed to learn to cook. She obviously had to eat on a more regular basis than I did; it wasn't like I could just rip open a mountain lion for her." The chicken was done. I used a pair of kitchen sheers to make quick work of cutting it up.

"So you learned how to cook for my mom?" She sounded doubtful.

I stirred the chicken into the broth. "I like doing things for your mother." I'd learned things went better with Marietta when I called Bella 'your mother' instead of by her name. I wasn't sure why, but the 'why' didn't matter as much as the result. "Besides, she's sick. She needs someone to take care of her – and you."

"I can cook. I'm not helpless," she proclaimed defensively, crossing her arms and giving me a look that said 'I dare you to try'. "And I don't need _you _to take care of me."

In most ways, Bella and Marietta seemed like polar opposites, but clearly, stubborn independence must be a genetic trait that's dominant on the X chromosome. "Of course you can cook. But you don't want to catch her cold, do you? I can take care of her without worrying about that. While I'm taking care of her, I can do the same for you so that she doesn't worry."

_I still don't need you to take care of me._ She changed the subject. "The soup smells good."

"I wouldn't know," I mumbled.

"You can smell," she said skeptically.

I stirred the soup. "I can smell, but human food doesn't smell good to me at all."

"Doesn't that make it difficult to cook?" she asked, her eyebrows furrowing.

"It makes it frustrating." I laughed. "That, and the fact that I can't taste it. Well, I can taste it, but I have no idea if it tastes _right_. It's not so bad when the recipe gives specific amounts of some seasoning, but when it just says 'season to taste' it drives me crazy." I certainly _sounded_ insane right now. Marietta snickered at me.

"Mom really doesn't feel very good at all, does she?" she sounded worried.

"It's just a cold," I assured her. "She feels miserable, but there isn't much anyone can do about that other than see it through. Fluids, rest, medicine to treat the symptoms, that's about it."

"Emmett says you've been to medical school." Her eyes were filled with doubt.

I wasn't sure where she was headed with this line of questioning, but I couldn't go wrong with the truth, could I? "Yes, that's true."

"So, how does that work? I mean, with the blood and all? Didn't you want to eat people instead of help them?" Ah, so she was skeptical. An image of me licking blood from some ER victim's head flashed through her mind. I wasn't sure whether to laugh or cringe. Did she really think I would do that, or was she just torturing me?

"It's surprising how many ways you can avoid blood in medical school." I grinned. Surprising how you can avoid almost anything if you want to badly enough. "It's really just the last year that you have to work your schedule carefully. I've done it twice. Rosalie's done it, too. I'm surprised she didn't mention it."

"We don't talk about things like medical school," she laughed scornfully.

I was curious. Now was my chance. "What exactly do you talk about? Or would I rather not know?"

She shrugged. "We talk about Emmett. She's teaching me how to change the oil in a car. How to change a tire. Stuff that Mom doesn't know."

"You talk about Emmett?" I was surprised.

Marietta frowned. "It's not like Rosalie is threatened by me."

"She'd be more likely to threaten you." Quite frankly, we were all surprised at Rosalie's reaction. She truly seemed amused by Marietta's crush on Emmett. Whenever anyone asked about it, Rosalie just gave me a saccharine smile and said, 'She's so _different_ from Bella.' To be completely honest, Rosalie and Emmett probably made it easier for me to be with Bella. I was certain that without them, Marietta would do everything possible to make my life hell. They kept her distracted a good portion of the time.

The soup began to boil. Now for the part I dreaded. 'Season to taste.' I sprinkled some salt, some pepper, some basil and cilantro into the pot. As far as I was concerned, it smelled dreadful. Would Bella like it? She could probably barely taste it with her cold. I glanced at Marietta. "Want to help?" She raised her eyebrows and eyed me doubtfully. I laughed. "I just need someone to taste it. To tell me if needs anything."

She craned her neck to peer into the pot. "OK," she said warily.

I handed her a spoon and she dipped out a taste. She blew on it to cool it, glanced at me and tasted. _That's good._ "It needs a little more salt," she said authoritatively. "Just a pinch."

She watched as I added the salt and stirred the pot, then ladled soup into a bowl. I arranged it on a tray with some crackers and a glass of milk, wishing I could add a bud vase and flower. I'd been prohibited from any more flowers, though. I handed a second bowl to Marietta before I picked up the tray. "I'll let you get yours while I take this up to your mom." All-in-all, there seemed to be less tension between us.

Until her thoughts wandered, deliberately, I'm sure, to an image of her parents. They were sitting in a porch swing kissing in a way that made me certain neither of them had any idea Marietta was watching from the window. It nearly seared my eyes. So much for thinking things might be better.


	24. Kittens and Biscuits

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Kittens and Biscuits**_

by silly bella

The experience was surreal, to say the very least. Bella and I watched as Emmett and Jasper coached Marietta in the finer aspects of poker. Bella didn't like the idea one bit, but she trusted Emmett and Jasper. She bit her lip as she watched. Marietta, on the other hand, clearly enjoyed the game. She seemed to absorb it like a sponge, reveling in the challenge. Miraculously, she won time after time. I listened to my brothers' thoughts to see if they were cheating so she would win.

_Damn. How does she do that?_

_She hasn't had time to develop a system._

_And where did she get that poker face? I had no idea she was bluffing on that last hand. Her heartbeat didn't speed up. Her expression never changed, not even the slightest bit._

"It has to be beginner's luck," Jasper muttered.

"What if I'm not a beginner?" Marietta taunted.

Bella frowned. Emmett narrowed his eyes. Jasper glanced at Bella and took a deep breath.

_She doesn't like that. She hasn't been thrilled about Marietta playing poker, but she's really upset now. I'm helping all I can, but she's pretty riled up._

"What exactly do you mean when you say you're not a beginner?" Bella enunciated each word carefully.

Marietta grimaced. "I didn't say I wasn't a beginner. I asked, 'What if I'm not a beginner?' It's not the same thing." She tried to backtrack.

Bella nodded. "And _are_ you a beginner?"

"No ma'am." Marietta sighed.

"Where did you learn to play poker?" Bella spoke slowly and took deep breaths.

Jasper shrugged. _It's the best I can do. I didn't know humans could get that angry._

"If I tell you, it means I have to break a promise," Marietta whispered, her voice shaking. _A promise to Daddy._

Interesting. Had Tony taught her how to play poker?

Bella glared at her. "Tell me this, then: how long have you known how to play poker?"

Marietta bit her lower lip. It made her look even more like Bella, if that were possible. "I started playing when I was ten. But I knew how before then."

"How did you know so much about it?" Bella sounded determined.

"I watched some people play." Marietta swallowed nervously. _Mom's trying to trick me. But I am not going to tell her that Daddy taught me to play poker at the station house. He made me promise not to mention it._

"Like watched on television?" Bella refused to back down.

Marietta actually laughed, then caught herself. "Something like that," she grinned, belying her thoughts. _I hate it when Mom gets mad like this. She's a little scary. She'd flip if she knew I started watching Daddy play poker when I was five._

"I believe what Marietta is trying so hard not to tell you is that Tony taught her to play poker at the station house. She promised him not to tell. She doesn't want to break her promise to her father. Apparently she's been a poker aficionado since she was five," I said under my breath to Bella. "She's also a little afraid of you."

Bella turned to me, gaping. I'd hoped to calm her with the information, but instead, she was even more angry. The volume of her voice rose. "Do you mean to tell me that you've been watching your father and his friends play poker since you were five and you joined them when you were ten?"

"I didn't mean to tell you anything. Edward ratted me out." Marietta glared at me, visualizing Tony rubbing suntan lotion on Bella's back and legs. "It sucks when your mom's geriatric adolescent boyfriend can read minds. And it's not fair."

Emmett, who had been watching, amused, all along, finally broke. His laughter filled the room. "Geriatric adolescent," he repeated, chuckling.

"You're right there with me," I pointed out.

"Oh, no," Emmett argued. "I'm not an adolescent. I was twenty when Carlisle changed me."

"That's my girl," Rosalie called out from the top of the stairs. She flashed an affectionate grin at Marietta as she joined us around the table. "He can be a real pain when he gets in your head. It's annoying."

I frowned. I felt pretty certain I knew who'd taught Marietta about flashing images I didn't like in my direction.

"Wouldn't that make you a geriatric adolescent, too? If I recall, you were eighteen when Carlisle changed you," Jasper pointed out. Emmett laughed again and Rosalie clenched her jaw in anger.

Marietta took advantage of the situation to change the topic. "So how does it work when you change someone?"

I tensed, and Bella laughed. "It's not like her knowing about it will change her. I'm still human. She's smart enough to know that at thirteen, she's far too young to even think about it. Not that _you_ would think about." Emmett and Rosalie glanced at Bella, who shrugged.

Emmett took that as permission, and explained, "We produce a venom that spreads through a human's body. If a vampire bites you and you survive, then you turn into a vampire once the venom makes its way through your circulatory system." He smiled at Bella and pointed out, "Your mom is the only person I know to survive a vampire bite without turning – "

"Did Edward bite her?" she stared at me.

"Edward?" Rosalie laughed, incredulous. "But as I recall, Jasper almost did." _We should have let him, and __**then**__ pulled him away. It would have been easier on all of us_. I growled quietly at her.

Marietta's eyes grew large as she watched Jasper, who appeared mortified. _I can't believe she just said that. Only Rosalie would bring up something like that. The kid is terrified now. Probably of me. And Bella…her emotions actually hurt. You did a real number on her if this is how she felt when we left. And you aren't doing so well yourself._

"Edward didn't bite her. It was another vampire." Emmett shook his head almost imperceptibly, letting Rosalie know she'd crossed the line. His expression grew dark. "We took care of _him_. Edward _saved_ Bella from becoming a vampire. He sucked the venom out."

I tightened my arm around Bella's shoulders, remembering how close she had come to dying because of me. Because I was a monster.

"You never told me about that, Mom," Marietta said. "Did Daddy know?"

Bella laughed nervously as she fingered the scar on her hand. "Mari Alice, honey, your father would have thought I'd lost my mind if I walked up to him and said, 'See this scar here? That's where a psychotic vampire bit me. But it's all good. My vampire boyfriend sucked the venom out.' If I recall, you were a bit skeptical, and you had living proof right in front of you."

"Technically, we aren't living," Jasper stated. Bella rolled her eyes.

Marietta frowned, "So why didn't you just let the venom turn her into a vampire? Or bite her yourself? Not that I'm upset about that, since I wouldn't be here if you had. Just wondering, is all."

"I didn't want to turn her into a monster. I love her too much to do that to her." I did not want to have this conversation. It was all too familiar.

"You aren't monsters," Marietta all but shouted. She _could_ sound like her mother.

Rosalie touched Marietta's shoulder. "Yes, we are," she said softly. "We may have chosen to live a different lifestyle than most of our kind, but we are monsters. It doesn't stop us from loving." She glanced at Emmett. "I love Emmett more than you can imagine. I didn't have time to think about it, really, when I asked Carlisle to change him. He was dying, but I think I would have done it anyway. I may agree with Edward that we're monsters, but I've never been the martyr he is."

Jasper sighed and began to speak. "I think the term 'monster' is debatable. The simplest root of the word, the Indo-European base, men, means to warn. It appears in Latin as monere, again, meaning to warn. It's the same base you find in premonition or admonish or even monument. One could even argue that at its very core, the word monster is more of a guardian than anything else. That's where connotation wins out over denotation," he offered.

"How do you know all those roots?" Marietta asked, her voice filled with awe.

"I read a dictionary once," Jasper said.

Marietta raised her eyebrows in disbelief. "You read the dictionary?"

Alice laughed. "Just once?" she teased.

Jasper shrugged and continued. "I was bored. It was something to do. But I digress. I don't think anyone would argue that we are not monsters according to the most basic concept in that we are creatures of myth and legend. Technically, that encompasses all mythical creatures, whether good or evil in intent. Still a neutral in connotation. But that, in and of itself, isn't what Edward and Rosalie mean when they claim to be monsters."

Jasper looked from me to Rosalie. "Then there's the terminology which uses monster to define an animal or plant with structural defects. Something grossly abnormal. If you consider us human with structural defects, then I suppose there's an argument for us being monsters. But if you consider vampires a separate species, then that particular argument becomes moot. I don't believe that's what Edward and Rosalie are saying, either," he added.

"There's the modern term that means 'large' which might be appropriate in Emmett's case, but it's certainly not a universal trait for vampires. Again, not what my siblings mean when they call themselves monsters. There are also monsters in the sense of one who inspires horror or disgust. Of course, there are humans who inspire horror or disgust. Adolph Hitler. Charles Manson. Ted Bundy. Jeffrey Dahmer. I've been a monster, in the traditional sense. For that matter, Edward made that choice for a few years as well." Jasper spoke so calmly about his dark past. And mine. Bella and Marietta hung on every word.

"But what my siblings mean when they call themselves monsters is something that merges the first definition and last one: a mythical creature that inspires horror or disgust. They assume that because we are one, we must be the other," Jasper finished.

"We drink blood. We kill to live," I argued. "We are monsters."

Marietta nodded then said, "Humans don't drink blood. At least, not normal humans. But they kill to live. Most humans eat meat. We might eat chickens and cows where you would choose bears, but it's still killing."

"That's absolutely true," Bella smiled, agreeing with Marietta. "And the Cullens are not monsters."

"Jasper can play with linguistics all he wants. It doesn't change the fact that we're monsters." I refused to be swayed. Bella could never accept what we really were, and now her daughter refused to believe it as well.

Emmett just grinned. "I think for once, Jasper's high fallutin' mumbo jumbo makes a lot of sense."

"Thank you," Jasper nodded.

"We have a different way of saying it where I come from, but it all boils down to the same thing. Just because a cat has kittens in the oven, it doesn't mean you call 'em biscuits." Emmet crossed his arms over his chest and watched my reaction.

I closed my eyes and shook my head, trying to put my thoughts together before I spoke.Rosalie beat me to the punch. "What on earth are you talking about? What does a cat in the oven have to do with this? And what kind of monster puts a cat in the oven?"

Emmett's laughter filled the room. "Maybe a werewolf? Cats and dogs don't get along very well."

_There are werewolves, too?_ Couldn't get a thing past Marietta. She'd probably ask Emmett and Rosalie about that later.

Rosalie smacked Emmett across the stomach. "What? I just answered your question?" he asked defensively.

"The question was rhetorical," Jasper said dryly to Emmett before turning to Rosalie. "I believe the cat would have crawled into an open oven to get warm. It's an old phrase, dating back to wood-burning stoves that were used to cook and heat the house. The house warmed up faster if you left the oven door open and as the stove – and the house – cooled off, a cat, seeking warmth, might actually crawl into the oven.," he explained. "And what he means is that while we may be monsters in the sense of mythical creatures, we don't have to be monsters who inspire horror or disgust. That's a _choice_ we make, and we have _chosen_ not to be the second kind of monster, even though we cannot change the fact that we are the first."

Bella pressed against me and whispered, "Told you so." As far as she was concerned, the discussion was over.


	25. Intervention

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended. The song _Disco Duck_ belongs to Rick Dees, who performed the 1976 song with his band, The Cast of Idiots, and a Donald Duck impersonator. (I'm not sure anyone else wants it.)

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers. And BHG is rubbing off on me. I've been beta-reading her story, _The Greatest of These_, and a bit of that story's philosophy comes through in Emmett. If you're reading her story, you'll know it when you see it. If you haven't read it, you should, and it will be obvious then.

_**Intervention**_

by silly bella

My brother was officially crazy. Granted, the situation was bizarre, but the solution was so easy. Change her. And when Marietta was old enough, change her if she wanted. If he didn't change Bella, eventually she'd die. That's what humans do. There was no way to stop it.

Sure, she was hung up on the age thing. Did it really matter that she was thirty-two and he was seventeen? She loved him. He loved her. That was what really mattered. How could she be so hung up on math when we were talking about forever? It wasn't that she looked so old. Let's face it, if people believed I was sixteen when we arrived in a new area, it wouldn't be that hard to persuade them that Bella was younger, too. Convincing Bella was the real challenge. Which was exactly what tonight was about. Convincing Bella. Once she came around, if Edward wouldn't do it, I think Carlisle might at least consider it. After all, he'd spent the last fifteen years with Edward, too. When Edward wasn't happy, no one was happy. The way he'd affected the rest of us made me _really_ feel sorry for Jasper.

And what about Edward? We couldn't stay in Forks much longer. It was a miracle that no one had recognized us yet. Could he persuade Bella to come with us? Or would he risk everything to stay here with her? If it came down to leaving without her again, he'd disappear. It had been bad enough last time. I might not find him again. The memory of my brother in that hovel, hollow-eyed and totally empty, haunted me. He was my brother. Next to Rosalie, I loved him more than anyone in the world.

Why did they both have to be so stubborn? It was time for my family to be whole again. And if this worked…

So here we were, decked out in collegiate wear, chosen, of course, by Alice, who had also given Bella clothes to wear for our outing. Alice and I hadn't told anyone what this was about, and so far, we'd managed not to slip and think about it around Edward.

When we stopped at Bella's to pick her up, Marietta answered the door. "Em! Rosalie!" She tackled us both. "Come on in. Mom will be down in a minute. Please, please, let me go with you." She barely noticed Alice and Jasper and purposefully ignored Edward as they stepped inside.

"No can do. Tonight's agenda is not for thirteen year olds. But you, Rose and I can have a film fest at the house this weekend if it's OK with your mom. Fair enough?" I mussed her hair.

She made a face and grabbed my hand with both of hers to pull it away from her head. Then she responded, "Not fair. Not fair at all."

"Best offer," I countered.

A pout followed her sigh, but she gave in. "Fine."

"Did your mom like her wardrobe?" Alice's words rushed out in such a rapid flow they seemed to blur together. She was always excited to see her namesake.

Unfortunately, Marietta didn't share that enthusiasm. She just shrugged. Then she locked eyes with Edward, obviously sending him some sort of message. Edward stared back, his lips in a grim line, his expression otherwise emotionless. It was a familiar exchange. I'd have given anything to know what she was thinking.

Then Edward's lips parted and a smile spread across his face. Bella walked carefully down the stairs as Edward watched with reverent awe. I couldn't help speculating how big my brother's smile would have been if she were dressed up instead of wearing jeans and a tee-shirt.

"I'm not sure why it was so important for me to wear these exact clothes. You could have just _said_ wear jeans," Bella laughed. "Although I don't own any jeans that fit like this." She frowned. "I can't imagine what's so important about wearing a University of Washington tee-shirt." She shook her head, clearly perplexed. So far, so good. I thought she might figure it out from the clothes.

Edward met her at the bottom of the stairs and kissed her. His fingers brushed her cheek.

"I think I'm going to throw up. Can you do that somewhere else?" Marietta made a gagging noise.

"Wishful thinking," Rosalie muttered, much to Marietta's amusement.

Bella took Edward's hand in hers and led him toward us. "You sure you're all right on your own here tonight?"

Marietta rolled her eyes. "Yes, Mom. I'm not a baby."

"We may be late," Bella pointed out.

"I'll be fine, Mom," Marietta whined.

Bella still didn't seem certain. I tried to conceive what it must be like to have so much responsibility for another life. I loved Rosalie. I would protect her, or anyone in my family, at any time. But I knew it wasn't the same. None of us, not even Carlisle and Esme, really knew what that was like. Esme had some idea; she did have a child, but he didn't live long enough for her to really understand Bella's responsibility – a responsibility that clearly terrified Bella.

It was strange to see her like that, the girl who wasn't afraid of vampires scared…of what? It was as clear as ever that money was tight. Nothing in that house was really new. The house itself was meticulous and well maintained, but it obviously hadn't seen any unnecessary upgrades since Bella had lived here with Charlie. Bella's laptop was ancient. Edward wanted to take care of her, of both of them. But Bella was as stubborn as ever about gifts. It was more than finances that scared Bella. The blatant fear on her face the day she'd brought Marietta to our house in a panic; her own distress while Carlisle explained what we were to her child; that wasn't about money. That was some sort of dread that made no earthly sense.

True, Marietta was a human and vulnerable – as vulnerable as Bella. I had no doubt why Bella hesitated to leave her alone while we went to Seattle for the night. It was more than that, but that I could help.

"Marietta, you have my cell number and Rosalie's, don't you?" I asked. She nodded in response. "If anything happens and you need us, you can call." I watched for Bella's reaction. Before she could say anything, I added, "And Bella, you can call Marietta to check on her as often as you like. Will that make you feel better?"

She smiled at me, grateful, and I winked back.

Marietta followed us to the door, staring wistfully as we climbed into the SUV. Everyone in the car was happy enough about something: Edward was happy about sitting with his arm around Bella, just as Bella was happy about being with him. Rosalie was happy Edward had abdicated the driving to her. Alice was just naturally happy and Jasper was as happy as I was that everyone else was happy. Probably happier, all things considered.

"So what exactly are we doing tonight?" Bella asked.

Rosalie glanced in the overhead mirror. "You know, I was wondering the same thing. They've all been so hush-hush about it. I can't figure out why. I mean, we're all wearing jeans. It can't be that special."

"It's a surprise, Rosalie," Alice hissed.

"A surprise for whom? You know. Emmett knows. Jasper knows. Edward knows. The only people who don't know are Bella and me. I'm driving and I have no idea what we're doing. All I know is where we're going. Or at least, where I'm supposed to park."

Edward cocked an eyebrow. "I don't know. They've managed to keep it a secret from me. Alice has been doing complex math in her head for the past week, and Emmett's been singing _Disco Duck_ constantly. Trust me, I'm trying to stay away from those thoughts."

From the back seat, Jasper coughed quietly. "I don't know, either. Alice never mentioned it."

Rosalie frowned. Edward's eyes flashed from me to Alice and then back again. The words to the song banged through my head. "All of a sudden I began to change. I was on the dance floor acting strange. Flapping my arms I began to cluck, 'Look at me… I'm the disco duck.'"

"Emmett, Alice, what's going on?" Edward demanded. "And stop singing that stupid song in your head."

"It's not a stupid song. It was number ninety-nine on the top one-hundred songs of 1976. It was in _Saturday Night Fever_, even though it didn't make it to the album. Rick Dees got gypped." Anything to keep him from figuring out the truth.

"And you can't figure out why I didn't like music in the seventies." He rolled his eyes and shuddered with revulsion, then pulled Bella closer to him.

"Disco, Disco Duck." Everyone in the car stared at me.

"It's one thing to sing that song in your head to keep Edward out of it," Rosalie said sternly. "It's another to sing it out loud. Stop singing, Emmett, or we're going to have an intervention."


	26. Underage

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Underage**_

by silly bella

I couldn't help giggling at Emmett singing. In his head or out loud, it was working, distracting Edward with high efficiency. Rosalie might not know what we were doing, but she was a fast driver, and we were headed down Broadway. "If you turn on Pike headed toward Harvard Avenue, there's a parking space about to open up. I don't believe we can get any closer." Parking is easier when you can see into the future.

Rosalie followed my directions, pulling deftly in beside the meter. Soon, we were headed to the club. Even in the gathering darkness, I could make out the black and red walls of Neumo's boxlike building. The band tonight was good, but unknown. At least, for now. They stood poised on the verge of unbelievable success. Within three years, at the latest. Edward, as always, would enjoy having seen them before their careers took off.

He chuckled. "That good, are they?"

"You'll like them," I assured him.

"Are you implying that all this secrecy is because of a band?" came his querulous response.

"I'm not _implying_ anything," I stated simply. Better to move on to other subjects.

We approached the door where a large man in a black jacket stood checking IDs. He looked at me with skepticism. Confidently, I handed him my driver's license. It was one of Jasper's best and stated unequivocally that I was 23. I smiled as he looked back and forth between the photograph and me, finally shrugging and moving aside. He didn't bother to check Jasper or Emmett's IDs, but he raised his eyebrows as he held out his hand for Rosalie's. With great disdain, she placed it in his hand. She'd used one from Alaska, and he seemed disappointed not to find a local address. He took both Edward and Bella's licenses, eyeing them both curiously before returning them without making an effort to hide his doubts. I glanced at Emmett. So far, everything was going as planned. As I had seen it.

It was early enough that we didn't have to fight for seating. Emmett led the way to a table near the front.

Bella glanced at Emmett, then to me, and finally back to Emmett. "So what's with all the secrecy? It's pretty obvious that you're hiding something and that the two of you cooked up the idea together and you didn't tell Jasper or Rosalie because with only two of you knowing there was less chance that Edward might hear it in your thoughts. Since you planned this a week ago, you've had to make a real effort to hide your plans from Edward."

Just as she finished speaking, a server interrupted to take orders. Emmett grinned and ordered beer for each of us. Specific beer for each of us. Mine was something Japanese. For someone who can't drink beer, Emmett sure seemed to know a lot about it. Apparently, I wasn't the only one who thought so.

"What?" he said, obviously insulted by the stares we all gave him. "Trust me. These are perfect for each of you."

"ID, please," the server stated firmly. Bella frowned, but pulled hers out along with the rest of us. The server looked at each of the IDs carefully, raising her eyebrows at mine and Edward's, which proclaimed us twenty-three and twenty-one, respectively. When she came to Bella's, she laughed. "You should go for something more believable, next time, honey. You're lucky that it's good enough I can't _prove_ it's a fake. We confiscate those and cut them up." She shook her head. "You don't have to say you're thirty-two when twenty-one's good enough."

Bella's mouth dropped open. I had to hold back a giggle, given that her license was the only one that was actually real. The server disappeared into the growing crowd.

"Would you like for me to make you an ID next time, Bella?" Jasper chuckled. "I'll let you pick the age." He shot me a sidewise look. He'd caught on. So had Edward, who scowled at me. I smiled innocently back and the server's return spared me his scathing comment.

"Could I have some water, too, please?" Bella asked politely.

The server seemed amused. "Any particular label?" She glanced at Emmett as if waiting for him to specify a brand of bottled water.

"Tap is just fine," Bella smiled as the waitress disappeared.

"Bella, why did you order water? You have beer. If you don't drink it, what are we going to do with it?" Maybe this hadn't been a good idea. And Bella was messing up the plan by making choices I hadn't counted on. "This isn't the school cafeteria. Somebody, at least the server, is going to notice."

"Alice, we all have beer. Did you expect me to drink eight bottles?" her eyes opened wider than I'd ever seen them. "Besides, I don't drink."

I felt confused. "But I've seen pictures of you drinking."

She lowered her head, nodding, and took a deep breath. "Those were some very old pictures, Alice. And some very bad times. I haven't had anything to drink in a little over fourteen years." She seemed somehow ashamed. "It's better if I don't."

Then I realized what she was saying. She must have turned to alcohol when we left. It must have been worse than I imagined if she was an alcoholic. Then again, that kind of abstention might help her with the bloodlust if Edward would ever change her. I saw Edward's knuckles tighten and turn even whiter as that thought crossed my mind. He shifted his arm from around her shoulders to take her hand in both of his.

The server interrupted again, setting Bella's glass of water on the table. Emmett held up his hand to catch the server's attention. "On second thought, we're going to try some of the bottled water. Why don't you bring us all something different?" He palmed what I knew was a good amount of money into the server's hand. Her expression made it clear that she thought he was crazy, but she took the money.

"Why didn't you see that, Alice?" Emmett hissed.

"I only looked as far as the IDs," I answered.

Bella realized then what we had planned. She just got it wrong. "So how much did you pay the server to card me and make that comment?" her cheeks flushed deeper every second.

"We didn't pay her to do that," I explained. "We just wanted to show you that the age difference really isn't as bad as you seem to think. Obviously, she thought you couldn't be thirty-two, so you must be under twenty-one and using a fake ID. It was easier for her to believe you were younger than to believe you were your real age." If Bella thought we'd paid for that, the whole plan was ruined.

She narrowed her eyes and focused on Emmett, "So what was that roll of money for?"

Emmett sputtered. "I did not pay her for commenting on your ID. I paid her because it's a little strange to order a round of beer, have no one drink any of it, and then order a round of water. Sometimes, the more money, the fewer questions. It was not because of you."

Bella glanced at Edward, who nodded. "It's true. They are both appalled that you think they paid someone to say you look younger than you are." He glared at Emmett, who apparently was thinking something else, too.

"Thanks for the effort," Bella mumbled, "but it doesn't really matter. I may look younger than I am now, but in a few years, no one is going to think I'm under twenty-one. And it's only going to get worse."

"Not if he changed you," Emmett muttered.

Edward let out a low growl. I elbowed him. "Shhhhh! We're already conspicuous enough. Quit growling."

"It's not just that, Emmett. There's Marietta," Bella protested.

I was surprised when Rosalie met her eyes and said, "We can take care of Marietta. She'll be fine." For someone originally so vehemently opposed to Bella's presence, she seemed shockingly accepting of Marietta.

Bella was clearly as amazed as I was. "And when her grandmothers want to visit?"

"She can visit them," Rosalie answered without missing a beat.

Emmett was the only one who didn't stare in disbelief. Edward met Rosalie's eyes briefly and sighed before looking away. Bella frowned, clearly confused, as unable to comprehend Rosalie's behavior as I was.

"This discussion is moot," Edward hissed. "At least Bella and I finally agree."

This wasn't turning out like it should have. I frowned at Emmett, who shrugged. We sat silently as the server returned with bottled water and glasses. Bella drank deeply from hers and Edward watched intently as she swallowed, the muscles of her throat moving rhythmically. So mesmerized by this simple evidence of her humanity, he didn't even look away when the band began to play.


	27. Marathon

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Marathon**_

by silly bella

This was a bad idea. Marietta's film festival with Rosalie and Emmett cut to the bone. Did Bella know that Marietta had brought home movies to share with my family while she visited with Charlie in Port Angeles? Rosalie and Emmett had both been surprised, but Rosalie was thoroughly enjoying watching Marietta grow up, even if it was digital. Emmett, as usual, found Bella entertaining. I watched, unable to tear my eyes away as I watched Bella's life without me. The life I wanted so much for her to live.

This was so much worse than any photo album. There was Bella, pregnant, her belly swollen, wearing the bikini from the pictures. A woman telling her she was brave to wear a bikini that far along. Bella laughing as she explained the only reason she was wearing it was because Tony bought it for her because he thought she was beautiful, even if she looked like a whale. But she didn't look like a whale. Tony was right: she was beautiful. Her hand gliding across her stomach as Marietta kicked and moved. Worse still, her hand guiding Tony's hand over another path as Marietta swam inside her. His expression of wonder. Bella smiling at his touch. Blushing at his whispered words, too low for human ears to hear, but clear enough for me to understand. "I love you. And I don't think you're beautiful. You _are_ beautiful."

Another snippet, Bella in a huge group of people, obviously Tony's family, on Christmas morning. She looked overwhelmed, her eyes large as she chewed on her lip. An older woman glaring at her, eyes hot and angry as Tony wrapped his arms protectively around her. I couldn't help noticing that no one but Tony actually spoke to her. How could his family not like her?

Then Bella and Tony returning home with newborn Marietta. It must have been Phil recording as a very pregnant Renée carried the baby and Tony carried Bella into a tiny almost empty apartment. He placed her carefully on what I thought at first was a bed, until I realized that it was a pull-out couch in an efficiency apartment. Of course – they were both college students. What did I expect?

The scenes changed rapidly: Marietta's christening; her first steps in a slightly nicer apartment; Bella walking through small, empty rooms of what must be their house; Tony washing a car in the driveway while Marietta sprayed the hose, Bella's laughter in the background. Scenes from a happy life. It made me want to take care of her, to give her everything Tony hadn't been able to give her. All the while knowing he had given her so much, things I could never hope to provide.

Disk after disk, Marietta eyed me maliciously. Surprisingly, she seemed to think that her grimace and the home movies were enough. She hadn't offered me any additional images of Tony with Bella. I wasn't sure I could take them from more than one source at a time.

But then came something worse: an image on the screen that shocked me. Bella on the couch with Tony, her hands fumbling with the buttons on his shirt, opening it, exposing his chest as he shrugged off the shirt and tossed it to the floor.

NO! Why on earth would Bella have something like this mixed in with family scenes?

She kissed him like she had never been able to kiss me.

NO! Please, not on a video. How could Marietta show us this? I wanted to shut my eyes and block it out. But I couldn't.

The others were just as stunned as I was. Then Tony looked directly into the camera. "The little devil," he muttered. Bella blushed as she realized Marietta was there. Tony shouted sternly, "Marietta, you turn that camera off right now!"

Emmett snorted as the screen went black.

Jasper rushed into the room. "What's wrong, Edward?"

I winced just before I felt a sudden calm settle over me. Images began to flicker across the screen again. "I'm fine, Jasper. Thanks."

Marietta grinned evilly at me, Jasper's response assuring her of my own reaction. She appeared quite pleased.

Jasper watched me, concerned, then glanced at the screen. _You're a glutton for punishment._ I grinned. I desperately wanted to know about Bella's life. Enough to endure this. _And she is enjoying every minute of this. She despises you, you know._

I nodded and turned my eyes to the screen once more. Marietta had put in a new disk. Bella had been happy. She had been loved. And I would remember every smile of it. At least, every smile that had been recorded.


	28. Ominous Beginnings

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Ominous Beginnings**_

by silly bella

Bella was a wreck. I didn't need to read her mind to understand that. Her garment bag had disappeared. That meant she had no dress for the wedding. Her shoes had also been in the lost luggage. She was in an honest-to-goodness frenzy. Marietta wasn't helping. Although she'd obviously enjoyed the first class accommodations, nothing else about me joining them for this trip made her happy.

_Maybe you will combust in the sun, Edward._ Marietta smiled at the thought. _Maybe it's just not bright enough in the north._

I decided to concentrate on Bella's distress. "You can buy a new dress. There may even be a shop in the hotel."

She stared at me. "Edward, I figured we'd be staying at a nice hotel. But it has dress shops in it? You've overdone it."

"Bella," I whispered, knowing that at least in this instance I could offer a good excuse, even if I was lying though my teeth, "I will be spending all of Sunday inside the hotel. Please allow me to spend the day somewhere comfortable, with a few options available. Especially if you want to go out."

"I'm not leaving you alone in a boring hotel room," she assured me.

Marietta rolled her eyes. "Could the two of you stop talking about hotel rooms? There are some things I'd rather not imagine." _Like my mother having sex with a teenager._

"It's not like that, Mari Alice," Bella sighed, blushing.

"You expect me to believe that?" Marietta sneered. "Mom, I know he spends every night at our house. He might as well move in. Although if it comes to that, can we move in with them? I like their house better." _I can get farther away from the two of you._

Bella batted the tears out of her eyes, but she couldn't speak.

"You're right, Marietta. I do stay at your house with Bella each night. But you're wrong, too. It isn't like you think." I paused, looking for the words to express such an uncomfortable truth. "Your mother and I can't have that kind of relationship. She's human and I'm a vampire. I'd really rather not kill her, and that's quite probably what would happen."

Marietta's mouth dropped open. "You don't –? You can't –? It would kill her?" she stammered, looking back and forth between us. Bella's cheeks still glowed hot and red, but the tears welling in her eyes had subsided.

"I can't be absolutely positive, but I'm certainly not willing to take that risk," I murmured.

"This just gets weirder and weirder." Marietta rolled her eyes and turned away, ignoring both of us, allowing me to focus on Bella's distress.

"We'll find a dress and anything else you need, Bella. Don't worry. Everything's going to be fine." Gently, I squeezed her hand. "Stay right here and I'll pick up the car."

For once, she listened. When I pulled up to the loading zone, Bella was waiting exactly where I left her. Marietta had found a bench a few feet a way and dozed against the back of it, but Bella stood, filled to the brim with anxiety.

"I think she's asleep. Do you mind carrying her to the car?" she asked, gesturing with her head in Marietta's direction.

Marietta didn't wake as I placed her in the back seat and buckled the safety belt around her. Bella tugged at one of the bags, but I shook my head. "I can get them all. Go ahead and sit in the car." I knew how tired she must be when she didn't argue. But I was surprised, when I finished loading the trunk, to find her in the driver's seat.

It must have shown on my face, because she raised her eyebrows and said, "I may be tired, but I know where we're going. And I'm not _that_ tired. I can drive." Her lips pulled together in a tight little line. I wished I could tell what she was thinking. I didn't want to argue, because I knew it would just make her feel even worse, so I climbed into the passenger side.

She drove carefully through the darkened streets. Humidity made the air palpable. The heat seemed to grasp her scent and multiply it a thousand times as the atmosphere of the car became more and more like some strange mingling of heaven and hell. But mostly heaven. I inhaled deeply.

"What are you doing?" Marietta stirred in the back seat. "Why are you breathing like that?" _I thought vampires didn't need to breathe._

I grinned sheepishly and explained, "Your mother smells good. The heat and humidity make her scent even stronger. More intoxicating."

She raised her eyebrows. "Intoxicating? Like it makes you drunk?" _A drunk vampire. That might be interesting._

"Something like that, I suppose," I sighed. "It doesn't change my perception or my reflexes, but it can be quite… distracting. Of course, my mind works differently."

"But basically, you're smelling my mother," she assessed with a degree of distaste. _That's disgusting._ She stared out the window, watching the houses as we passed by them.

"Yes, I am." I saw no reason to be dishonest. In the long run, she'd probably figure it out and only be angrier. I watched the houses, too. Bella had lived in one of them, for however short a time. I wanted to see it.

"Just when I think this can't get any weirder." She shook her head and settled into the back seat as Bella slowed the car and pulled to the curb.

Bella bit her lower lip and then spoke carefully. "Mari Alice, I'd prefer it if you didn't mention Edward to Renée."

"She knows you're bringing a guy," Marietta taunted.

"True," Bella nodded. "But she doesn't know it's Edward. She's met Edward, Mari Alice. She can't know it's him because we can't take the chance on her noticing that he hasn't changed. She's kind of oblivious to most things, but I think even she would notice that." She turned to me. "I think it's probably best if you waited here in the car."

I couldn't argue. It _was_ best. But I still didn't want to sit in the car. I did, though, listening intently to hear every word spoken as well as every thought from inside the house. It reminded me, in an odd sort of way, of my own home. I could hear the thoughts and comments of two boys playing some kind of electronic game; a girl tunelessly singing along with some music and thinking about a boy she hadn't seen since school got out; Phil, somewhat relieved that only Marietta was staying with them; and Renée evaluating every aspect of Bella and Marietta's appearance.

_She looks good. She's taken her rings off. It's about time. She's always held on to things for far too long._ "I can't imagine why you didn't just let us pick you up at the airport. It wouldn't have been any trouble."

"No trouble at all," stated a man's voice. _It would have been a pain in the a—._

"Dad, you promised we were gonna' get ice cream. Marietta's here. Can we go now?" one of the boys whined.

"Neil, let her put her things in her room. Or better yet, put them there for her," Renée chided. Neil must be one of Bella's half-brothers. "You help him, Philip."

Bella interrupted. "Mom, she doesn't have that much stuff."

"Are you sure you don't want to stay here, Bella?" Renée asked.

I heard it coming, but there was no way to warn her.

"She doesn't want to stay here, Gram Renée. She doesn't think you'll be happy about her date." The smugness was apparent in her voice. "She brought Edward."

"Edward?" Renée repeated my name absently. _Not Edward. Impossible. He doesn't live in Forks any more. It can't be. _"Do you mean you brought that boy who left you? He's back in Forks? Edward Cullen? That Edward?" I winced as she said my name.

Bella stayed calm, her voice unwavering. "Yes, Mom. That Edward."

"Are you sure that's a good idea? He left you once. You were a wreck," Renée shouted. "I had to come to Forks to get you."

Images passed through her mind. Things I'd never seen. Bella, still and quiet, unmoving on her bed. Staring at nothing. Bella, wan and lifeless on an airplane. Bella screaming in the night, then curled into a ball, sobbing. Bella, her eyes hidden in dark shadows and her cheeks hollow. I clenched my hands tightly, my knuckles straining as if they might pop out of my skin. What had I done to her?

"I can't believe you would take him back, Bella. Not after what he did!" Renée's agitation grew stronger.

_I've never seen Mom look like that. Or heard Gram Renée scream like that. Maybe I shouldn't have said anything after all._

A little too late, Marietta. It was everything I could do to keep myself in the car, but that was what Bella had asked. I would make myself stay.

"Is he in the car? Ashamed to come in? Worried that I'll give him the kind of reception he deserves even if you won't?" Renée continued her rampage.

The other children, Bella's half-brothers and sister, were shocked at Renée's outburst as well. Even Phil was stunned. _I'm glad she never got that mad at me._

I heard Bella sigh, and then she spoke. "Mom, I asked Edward to stay in the car. I also asked Mari Alice not to mention him because I wanted to avoid this very thing. You've no reason to scream at me. I'd just as soon he didn't see you like this." Her voice changed, suddenly becoming more authoritative. "And you, young lady. You and I will discuss this later. Edward and I will pick you up at Gram Marietta's on Sunday night."

Renée started to say something else, but Bella cut her off. "Don't, Mom. Enough is enough." In a moment, she was closing the door behind her, rushing across the tiny front porch and along the sidewalk to the car. She threw herself inside, started the car and drove away without speaking.

"That didn't go well," I whispered.

She slowed the car and stopped. "No. It didn't."

"Want to talk about it?"

"No, I don't," she said as she pulled the car to the curb. She breathed deeply and handed me the keys. "I have no idea where we're going. I don't really care, as long as it's away from Renée."

I was out of the car and on the driver's side pulling her into my arms before she began to cry. "Bella, Renée is right to hate me. I caused you so much pain. I saw what she remembered. How much you suffered. I'm so sorry, Bella. I'm so sorry. Truly, I never meant to hurt you."

"That fifteen years ago, Edward. Renée upset me tonight. And so did Mari Alice," she gasped.

"Marietta's sorry about that. I think she was a little scared of Renée's outburst." I tried to lighten things up a bit, but I didn't think it would work.

"She should be _more_ scared of me," Bella hissed. "She lives with me. And she did it deliberately."

I held her, letting her cry on my shoulder in the darkness. Regardless of what she said, it was my fault. Would I keep hurting her as long as she lived? It didn't seem like I could stop, no matter how hard I tried not to.

A porch light flashed on and a man stepped outside. "Everything all right there?" _This is a nice neighborhood. We don't need people causing trouble. Something seems wrong with that girl. Maybe I should call the police._

"We're fine. We've just traveled a long way and needed to switch drivers," I called back. "She's really tired, but she knows her way around here better than I do." I stood with Bella in my arms and carried her to the passenger side of the car, placing her gently in the seat. When I returned to the driver's side, I waved to the man before I climbed inside.

"Relax, Bella. I can find the way to the hotel." I grinned. "I did look at a map before we came." I ran my thumb along her jaw, and my touch seemed to sooth her.

She closed her eyes and sighed. I thought she might really be tired, but she simply asked, "Where are we staying?"

"I've heard good things about the Ritz-Carlton on Amelia Island. I thought that would be nice." I prepared myself for the resistance to follow.

"Edward," she said calmly, opening her eyes wide, "I knew that we weren't staying at a Motel 6, but the Ritz-Carlton? That's a resort. It's not even really in Jacksonville."

I sighed. There was only one way for this to work out. "I'm going to be inside all day on Sunday. I want to be comfortable." I wanted to make her comfortable. To wrap her in luxury.

She hung her head. "I'm sorry. That was selfish of me."

Now she was apologizing. Not what I'd intended.

"You might like it," I murmured. I hoped she would. "And they have a shop there on site where you can buy a dress. And some shoes. And anything else you might need to be ready for the wedding tomorrow."

Her lips formed a tight line. "They won't be open tonight. I couldn't afford to shop there, anyway. I know of a couple of department stores we can try tomorrow."

"Bella, if you wait until tomorrow you'll be rushed." I knew they would be open. I called the concierge from the airport. They would be ready for her as soon as we checked in. Now I just had to persuade her to use the hotel services. I didn't have much time for that, as we were almost there.

"Wouldn't you rest better if you knew you had a dress in the closet to wear tomorrow?" I knew she hated shopping. "This way, not only is it done, but you don't have to deal with crowds and going from store to store."

She stared at me. "Did you arrange for my bag to go missing?"

"I promise you I did nothing of the sort." I hadn't, but if I'd thought of it, I might have.

Just as we arrived at the hotel, she mumbled something about having a credit card with her. I didn't say a word, knowing full well that the concierge would be billing it to our room, as arranged. It was an argument for later. For now, I wanted Bella to appreciate the luxury, starting with the valet who opened the car door. I popped the trunk for the porter and gave the keys to the valet before offering Bella my arm.

"Mr. Cullen?" The gentleman at the desk must have assumed it was me because of the late arrival. I nodded and he continued. "Your suite is ready. All you need to do to check in is sign here." He pushed a piece of paper toward me. I scanned it quickly and signed.

"And the concierge?" I asked.

He nodded. "Gerard will be here in a moment. We appreciate you calling ahead about opening the boutique. He's arranged everything."

Bella caught the last statement and quirked one eyebrow.

"I called from the airport when I went to pick up the car," I explained, shrugging. "You need a dress. It was the best solution."

"We'll still have to go out tomorrow," she muttered under her breath. Her blush perplexed me until she finished her statement, "My underwear was in that bag, too."

Gerard motioned for us to follow him. "The service staff will take your luggage to your room. Have you eaten? We can arrange for a meal after you finish shopping."

I nodded. "I'm fine, but the lady will need something. Bella, a steak? Prime rib?"

She stared at me and asked with uncertainty, "A sandwich? Maybe a hamburger? And some fruit? Whatever's easiest. I'm sure the restaurant is closed."

"Not at all. We provide twenty-four-hour room service to guests in our suites." He stopped to unlock the door of the boutique. "We have a full line of designer wear, from La Perla undergarments to Vera Wang formal dresses. What exactly is it you need?"

Bella gasped and was utterly silent, so I answered him. "A cocktail dress. For a wedding."

He nodded and began to lead us to a section of the boutique filled with dresses. "Most of our Vera Wang dresses are formal. But we have several other options. We have a few Tadashi pieces, Ginger and Java and a nice selection of Nicole Miller. Are you looking for anything in particular?"

"Simple," Bella said, her face grave.

I caught her attention and asked in a low voice, "Would you consider something blue? For me?"

She opened her mouth to speak, then pressed her lips together and nodded.

"Blue and simple," Gerard repeated, his hands picking through the dresses. "This might work. It's a Nicole Miller. Silk."

For just a second, Bella looked at the dress and smiled. I could tell she liked it. But then she murmured, "I'm not sure. How much is it?"

Gerard raised his eyebrows and looked from Bella to me.

"Why don't you try it on?" I suggested. "See if you like it. I think it's a beautiful dress and would look even more so on you."

She frowned and disappeared into the fitting room.

I spoke to Gerard. "She's concerned about the price. I'm not, and I'm the one paying. I'd appreciate it if you simply didn't know exactly what anything costs. We're going to be needing shoes and undergarments as well. Although I suppose those will depend on the dress."

"What about a purse?" he asked quietly.

"She generally doesn't carry one. But I'll ask her, just in case," I said.

"Ask me what?"

She stood in the open floor space wearing the dress, and I knew it was perfect. The midnight blue set off her translucent skin. Her beauty seemed other-worldly. "You look magnificent," I whispered, unable to force more volume from my voice.

"The dress is beautiful, but I'm sure it's awfully expensive." She turned to look into the mirror, her expression wistful.

Gerard surprised me. "I think that may be one of the dresses that Britta was planning on marking down next week. I can make sure you get the sale price."

I smiled and nodded to him. "That would be very kind of you." For Bella, some distraction was in order. I walked to stand beside her and kissed her neck below her ear. "You know, Alice is going to be so jealous. I got to take you shopping." She laughed. "Now about the other things you need with that." She blushed furiously. "A chemise?"

"A what?" her eyebrows knitted in confusion.

"A chemise, to wear under the dress," I stated simply. Women still wore chemises, didn't they?

Bella laughed. "A slip. I don't think I need one. The dress has a lining in it. A built-in _chemise_." She emphasized the last word and grinned at me.

"But you do need stockings, shoes and undergarments?" I knew that would make her blush. It did, of course. She nodded without speaking, her cheeks growing redder. "Do you need a purse?" She rolled her eyes at my question. "I thought not. But I wanted to make sure." I kissed her again, this time making sure I breathed against her cheek. "Go. Change. I'll pick out everything but the shoes."

When she returned to the dressing room, I turned to Gerard. "You mentioned a La Perla collection?" he led me eagerly to the assortment of ladies' underclothing. I tried to imagine what she might prefer. I frowned at the thongs and G-strings. Neither of them seemed like something Bella would wear. Not that I had any idea what she wore. I closed my eyes for a moment, hoping to clear my brain, but instead, I was even more distracted by images of Bella wearing the items I'd seen. I found some briefs and some culottes and picked out several simple pairs that were still feminine, then searched for matching bras, finding two that seemed appropriate for the neckline of the dress.

"And stockings?" I asked.

Gerard coughed. "By stockings, would you mean traditional stockings, pantyhose or thigh highs?"

I tried to be practical. Stockings would need a belt. Pantyhose would add an extra layer in the heat. "Are there silk thigh highs?" That seemed to be the best compromise.

Nodding, Gerard led me to another section of the boutique. "We do carry one brand of silk thigh highs. Gazelle or Noire/Black?"

"How about a couple of each?" I wasn't sure what Bella would prefer, and as much as I enjoyed thinking about her wearing these purchases, I was growing more uncomfortable by the minute.

Gerard slipped each item into a shopping bag, carefully writing down what I'd chosen and making sure there were no indications of price on anything of the clothes. When Bella returned with the dress on a hanger, he took it from her carefully. "I'll have it steamed so it's fresh for you to wear tomorrow." He turned to me and asked, "May I send someone to pick up your formal wear to be steamed as well?"

"I would appreciate that." I sighed and smiled at Bella before suggesting we find some shoes.

We followed Gerard into the shoe boutique. "If I might be so bold as to suggest," he paused, "there is a pair of shoes here that would be lovely with particular dress."

"Please do," I assented. Bella sighed and looked nervously around the room and at the bag in my hand as Gerard disappeared for a moment, returning with a dainty shoe of dark blue linen embroidered with a floral pattern. Tiny pearls accented the flowers. The shoe was open-toed and secured with a ribbon on the heel. Gerard was right; they were perfect for the dress.

"They are beautiful," Bella murmured, "but perhaps something with a little less heel?"

I laughed softly. "I won't let you fall, Bella. Try them on."

Gerard asked for a shoe size and trotted away.

"You're not actually going to let me pay for any of this, are you?" Bella asked, frowning.

"We flew in late because of me. The late flight is probably why the luggage was mixed up or left behind. It seems to me that I owe you this," I argued.

"You don't owe me anything," Bella whispered angrily. Tears filled her eyes, partly from her temper, but exacerbated, I suspected, by exhaustion.

I wrapped her in my arms, shaking my head when Gerard appeared with the shoes. He stood back, professionally aloof, to give us a private moment. "It has been a horrible night for you, love. A dismal beginning for the weekend. Let me do this so you don't have to worry about anything else, so that we can spend the rest of the weekend enjoying each others' company."

Her arms circled around my back and she whispered into my chest, "But promise me, please, please, promise me: you won't buy me anything else this weekend."

"The shoes?" I asked.

She sighed. "I suppose. But nothing else."

"Meals?" I pressed.

This time she looked up at me and rolled her eyes. "And meals. But that's it. Really."

I smiled. I'd expected more of an argument. She really was tired.

Gerard saw me nod and brought the shoes for Bella to try. They fit perfectly. Efficiently, he added them to our purchases. "Will there be anything else I can help you with this evening?"

"Nothing besides dinner. It sounds like she wants a hamburger," I stated. "As soon as possible."

"I'll call room service myself," he assured me.

"Then I believe we're ready for directions to our suite." I kept my arm around Bella's waist and held the bags in my other hand as Gerard escorted us to the elevator. I hoped the less-than-auspicious start wouldn't color the whole weekend. I wanted Bella to relax and enjoy herself. And oddly enough, I was looking forward to meeting her friends, the people who had been part of her life for so long – even if it meant I had to hear about Tony. Surely none of them could say—or think—anything approximating the daily horrors to which Marietta subjected me.


	29. Storm Front

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

Also, I want to reference _Safe Harbor_, by Kissa and Cocoa (or Skipper-Pompeii on While I have always had this beach scene planned as part of the story, there are certain similarities between their story and mine. What can I say, I like rain on the water. If you've already read theirs, then you'll catch it quickly. If you haven't, then go read it so you'll know what I'm talking about.

_**Storm Front**_

by silly bella

I stared as the porter placed our bags in the bedroom and pointed out the amenities of our suite: the opulent living room, the dining room for six, the full kitchen, and all three balconies. I could tell from the sound of the ocean that we had a view of the beach, even though in the darkness, all I could see was my reflection against the night. "Will there be anything else I can do for you?" he asked.

"No, thank you," Edward said courteously and placed what I was sure must be a gigantic tip in the porter's hand.

"Your meal will be here momentarily," he added on his way out.

I stood in the immense living room. "Edward, this suite is too much. There has to be something less extravagant," I murmured.

He grinned. "I wanted you to feel at home. To be comfortable."

"My home would fit inside this suite with room to spare." I frowned and narrowed my eyes. "Besides, I thought you said you wanted to be comfortable."

A knock on the door interrupted his response. It was room service. The waiter set a place on the dining room table. It was the first time I'd ever had a hamburger served on real china, the kind people pass down in families and use on holidays. I'd wager from the heft of the knife I used to cut the burger in half that it was sterling silver, too.

Edward saw him out and returned to sit across from me. I felt self-conscious as he watched me eat. The food did make me feel better. I hadn't noticed how very hungry I was. I licked a wayward dab of mustard off the corner of my mouth and Edward laughed.

"Do you really find that so entertaining?" I asked as he observed me, noting the most minuscule of movements.

"Watching you?" He nodded gravely. "Absolutely. You fascinate me. Perhaps more so now than before. Although I wish I could tell what you're thinking. That still frustrates me."

"Right now I'm thinking I'd like to take a walk on that beach, if you wouldn't mind. The sound of the ocean is luring me in." Regardless of how tired I might be, I wanted to stretch my legs after spending the day cooped up in the plane.

Instantly, Edward was beside me, offering his arm. "I would be honored to accompany you." He walked me quietly to the elevator and we slipped out of the hotel into the night.

I stumbled in the sand, but Edward kept me from falling. He couldn't stop my shoe from wrenching off, though. After adding my other shoe and my socks to the pile, I took his hand and led him closer to the water. He'd left his shoes, too, and we ran into the cool spray together, dodging the edge of the water to keep our jeans from getting drenched.

The water reflected the darkness of the night, the emptiness of the sky. It felt like standing on the edge of the world, unknown, yet familiar. The air, so humid, closed in around me as Edward's cool hand offered welcome relief from the heat that lingered long after the sun had set. The waves drummed against the shore like a heartbeat, their rhythm so regular, so relaxing, the sound receded into silence.

He broke the stillness, whispering, "I've never been to Florida before."

"I imagine it's not among the preferred vacation destinations for people who sparkle in the sun." I laughed.

"Not really." He spoke softly, his voice just above the sound of the pounding water. "It's so warm. And quiet."

"Quiet?"

With a nod he explained, "It's an atmospheric effect of the heat and humidity. They absorb the sound. It's quite nice, really. But it doesn't affect the volume of people's thoughts."

We walked for a while in silence along the rim of wet sand. The steady wind blew my hair; the tangles would take hours to comb out. Every so often, Edward would pull me close, his cool lips grazing along my jaw or my neck. The contrast between his touch and the warm air sent more shivers than usual down my spine.

He must have sensed me tiring as I leaned against him. "Want to sit for a while?"

I nodded and we sank to the sand together. I inhaled the sharp, salty scent of the ocean air. "Alice's rain is coming in. You can smell the change in the weather."

"You can always count on Alice." He grinned and kissed my hand as the wind whipped up the waves.

"I was," I whispered.

He brushed a strand of hair behind my ear and watched me intently. "I've been thinking," he said quietly, taking my hand in his once more. He kissed my fingers and then my palm. "Bella, do you have any idea how much I love you? How much the thought of being away from you, even for a weekend, pains me? Just seeing you again was like a precious gift dropped in my lap," he paused, cupping my face in his free hand and gazing into my eyes, "but that was nothing compared to how I felt when you forgave me. When you told me that you still loved me." Exhaling slowly, he continued, "Bella, I _never_ want to be separated from you again. No, actually, what I _want _is to never to be separated from you again." He shook his head and turned suddenly so that he was on one knee, facing me. "Bella, please marry me."

My shock must have been obvious. I hadn't been expecting that at all. A flicker of sorrow crossed his face and he looked away when he saw my expression. I hadn't meant to hurt him. He anticipated a smiling, enthusiastic acceptance, not a furrowed brow and taut lips. By the time I recovered, he was talking to himself under his breath, his words much too fast for me to understand.

"Edward," I whispered, interrupting him. "Look at me." He turned, the anguish apparent on his face.

"I'm sorry. I deserved that," he stated simply.

"It's not about what you deserve," I shook my head. "There are so many complications. Not just the fact that one day – and that day is not so very far away – I will be old enough that people will think I'm your mother. I have Mari Alice to think about, too."

His brow furrowed. "Do you love me?"

"I never stopped loving you, and I never will."

"Then why isn't it that simple? At least tell me what things are so complicated." He had moved back, sitting there on the sand with his knees up in front of him, watching me carefully.

"For starters, there's Mari Alice," I began. "She has school. For that matter, so do I. How do I manage to keep a job when your family runs off in the middle of the night with hardly any notice? That isn't stable for a child. And what will her grandmothers think? Or are you counting on just writing them off? Because that isn't fair. As much as Tony's family is difficult for me, they love Mari Alice. They've lost him; I won't take Mari Alice away from them or them away from her."

He nodded thoughtfully before he responded. "Obviously, barring some disastrous situation, we would need to stay in one area until Marietta finishes high school. That's only five years. We've managed much longer than that before," he assured me. "And you don't need to worry about working. I want to take care of you, to provide for you, and I understand that means taking care of Marietta, too." He sighed, pausing for a few moments before he continued, "We'll find a way for her to see her grandmothers. It's a detail we can work out later. Bella, please, think about it. By some miracle of fate we found each other again." He cupped my face in his hand. "I can't loose you."

Slipping my fingers over his I whispered, "You sweet, beautiful boy."

"I am not a boy," he said, his voice low and hoarse. He met my gaze, his eyes pleading. "I haven't been a boy for a long time."

"Part of you will always be a boy."

"Is that one of the reasons?" Pain winced across his face.

"It's too late for me to move to Neverland," I sighed.

He frowned. "This is not some play for children. I love you, and if you love me, then nothing else matters." He pulled my hand away, gripping it in his.

"Everything matters, Edward." I could barely hear myself speak, but I knew he heard.

The wind blew more fiercely now, no longer a gentle breeze. It carried the first drops of rain with it. He lowered his head and kissed my hand. "Marry me, Bella. I exist in a world of impossibilities."

I shut my eyes, unable to answer and unable to bear the reproach in his eyes. I knew just how impossible his world was. But for me, it was more impossible than ever. I heard the rain before I felt it, a wall of water thundering in on the waves, pounding across the sand. Each drop stung as it pelted against me. Did it hide the tears?

Then I felt his mouth against mine, cool and smooth as marble. He kissed me, not just my lips, but my cheeks, my eyes, the hollow of my throat. And when he followed the curve of my neck up to my ear, he said, his voice soft but urgent, "I love you. I'll ask again and again until you say yes."


	30. Wedding Bells

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Wedding Bells**_

by silly bella

I don't go to weddings often. About once a decade Rosalie and Emmett get married again, but otherwise, I haven't been to a wedding in more than sixty years. If you didn't count any of my family, I hadn't been to a wedding in more than a hundred years. I had little to judge by, but this one seemed quite charming. That may have had more to do with who sat by my side than anything else. Bella looked stunning in her new dress. The simple cut and deep blue color accentuated her natural beauty. She wore her hair in an upsweep, exposing her elegant neck. A simple strand of pearls and single pearl earrings finished her classic look. I wanted to dress her in fine clothes like this all the time. To drape her in gems. To take care of her in every way. To make her life easier, if only she would allow it. She was so proud and independent.

As we left the church, another couple joined us. The woman hugged Bella and kissed her cheek, then the man did the same. Bella blushed and turned to me. "Edward, these are the Youngs, Carrie and John." She nodded to them and said, "This is Edward Cullen."

I could tell she was nervous by the way she bit her lower lip. I pressed my hand reassuringly to her back before I shook John's. "Nice to meet you both." Carrie and John. That would make him Tony's college roommate and fraternity brother. Carrie was the girl she had stayed with the night she met Tony. Marietta had called them Aunt Carrie and Uncle John. They seemed straightforward and truly fond of Bella.

_I'm so glad she came. And she looks so good. I was worried this might be difficult for her._

_Who is this guy? He looks awfully young. I hope he's not running some con on her. But Bella's pretty smart, I don't think she'd fall for something like that. He'd better not hurt her; she's been through enough with Tony's death and her father's illness._

So Carrie worried about her, and John felt protective of her. Tony's family might not have liked Bella, but clearly, his friends did. I liked them already. They offered us a ride to the reception, but Bella just smiled and told them, "We have a car."

We found them immediately when we arrived at the banquet hall, as we were seated at the same table. John made small talk with me while Carrie whispered to Bella, "We were so worried when Gary came back from Washington. I can understand sending him packing, but when he told us that you were still wearing your rings and had told him that you didn't think there would ever be enough time for you to be ready to date, we were truly concerned."

Bella laughed. "Is _that_ what he said?" Carrie nodded. Bella added, "He left out an important part of that statement: the last word. It was 'you' and referred specifically to Gary."

Carrie's brow furrowed for a moment, then a smile spread across her face. "That sounds like Gary. I'm relieved. And you seem to have found someone… interesting."

I enjoyed Bella's blush and couldn't resist taking her hand in mine. Carrie noticed and proceeded to ask, "How old is he? Do his parents know he's here?"

"He's older than he looks," Bella grinned, dodging the question with absolute honesty. "And I'm pretty certain his parents know he's here. His family is very close."

"What does he do?" Carrie was full of questions.

Bella hesitated, and I interrupted. "Would you care to dance?" She seemed relieved and anxious at the same time, but gripping my hand, followed me onto the dance floor. Apparently that was the lesser of two evils.

I could hear Carrie's thoughts as she watched us. _He dances, too. And he got Bella to dance. How did he manage that? She never dances. At least, I've never seen her._ I breathed in Bella's scent and imagined, briefly, that we were dancing alone, just the two of us. But Carrie's thoughts intruded again, rising above the general clamor of the crowd. _I wonder what he does? Bella seemed really uncomfortable when I asked. I hope he's not a stripper or something, but that would explain her reaction._

"She's going to ask you again, you know," I whispered.

"Ask what?" Bella murmured, leaning against me.

"What I do. For a living." I smiled at the irony of the words. "We should tell her something so she'll stop wondering. She thinks I might be a stripper and John is worried that I'm some sort of con man."

Bella groaned quietly. "What do we tell them?"

"We have several options, all of them true, to a certain extent," I pointed out.

"We do?" Bella seemed surprised.

I grinned. "I do keep busy, you know. We can tell her I'm a doctor. Technically, I am, although I've never practiced. There's also the musician/composer alternative, although I'm not certain that would reassure Carrie about my character. Musicians have a certain 'bad boy' reputation." Bella grinned. Apparently, the idea of me as a bad boy musician amused her. "Or we can just tell her that I'm independently wealthy. Which do you think she'd appreciate most?"

"Hmmmm," Bella chewed her lip as she debated the choices. "I'm not sure she'll believe that you're a doctor. She might think we're trying to hide something, which we are, but not what she'd think we're trying to hide." I nodded, waiting for her to continue. I thought the doctor option made me sound most reliable, but Bella knew her friends. She frowned. "But you're right; they won't think a musician is dependable. And if we tell them that you're independently wealthy without adding some occupation, they'll just think you're some kind of playboy."

The music switched to a Latin rhythm and Bella gripped my hands more tightly. "It's fine," I whispered. "It's all in the leading. Trust me." She relaxed a bit and swayed with me as we danced. "So, let me see if I have this right. Carrie will think we're lying if we say I'm a doctor, and she'll think we're trying to hide something worse than being a vampire. She might believe the musician story, but that would make me suspect financially and might imply that I'm a rebel of some sort. And while I'd be financially sound as an independently wealthy but idle individual, that would make me seem like a potentially fickle playboy."

"That about sums it up. What are we going to tell her?" Bella apparently trusted me to make the decision.

"Why don't we combine two of them? I'm independently wealthy, which allows me to pursue my music and composition without worrying about such details as earning money. At least I won't be idle or a starving artist. Do you think they'd go for that?" I wished I'd thought about this before we arrived. Of course her friends would want to know what kind of job I had. It was a normal thing to ask humans.

Bella seemed to agree with my suggestion, and when the song finished, we returned to the table. To my surprise, one more couple had joined us. I fought to keep my face blank.

_I have got to keep from laughing. I wish I'd thought to look at the place cards and switch them to a different table._

I liked the way Carrie thought.

_I hope Bella realizes we kept him as far away from her as possible._

Good move, John. You have no idea what a good move that was.

I focused on pulling Bella's chair out for her to sit down. Then I turned to face him, nodding stiffly. "Gary." I did not offer to shake his hand. I was too tempted to break it, and that was only the beginning of what I wanted to do to him.

_It's that kid. She was so desperate for a date, she brought her daughter's boyfriend? Maybe there's hope, after all. But I'll make the most of my escort service for the night. Play a little hard to get._ Gary grinned. I wanted to crawl across the table and choke him. No wonder he needed an escort service. I felt sorry for the poor woman.

_Why is it never the ones like him who need an escort? I mean, who cares if he can carry a conversation? I could look at him all night. _

Not so sorry.

_This joker I'm with will probably confuse 'escort' with 'call girl'. He's already grabbed my butt three times. In a church!_

All right, sorry.

_And check her out. That looks like a Nicole Miller dress. Dupioni silk. Maybe Betsey Johnson. Definitely Christian Louboutin shoes. But fake pearls. Expensive, new ensemble; cheap, old jewelry. Interesting._

When Gary didn't bother to introduce his 'date' I decided to take care of that myself. "I'm Edward Cullen, and this is Bella Baldovino." I put my arm around her as I said her name.

"Tara Reed. It's very nice to meet you both."

Before she could say anything else, Gary interrupted. "So where's Marietta?"

"Marietta is at Renée's. Unless Renée already took her to Tony's mom." Bella glanced at me. "Edward and I are staying at a hotel. You know Renée." She rolled her eyes.

"But I thought –"

"I know what you thought," Bella said, her cheeks red with anger. "It isn't my fault you made an incorrect assumption. Or several of them."

_This is going to be a more interesting evening than I thought._ Tara glanced at me and settled back in her chair. _I hope this guy lets him have it. I'm going to have a front row seat._

Carrie and John watched silently. I decided that if I couldn't strangle him, I'd make him wish I had. "Bella and I had a bit of a misunderstanding before you arrived in Washington. She hadn't expected me for dinner that night, but I wanted to stop by and see if the flowers I sent had made any difference."

Carrie pursed her lips and stared at me. She knew exactly what I was doing. She was enjoying it, too. _Wonder what he did? And what kind of flowers did he send? You can tell a lot about a man by the flowers he picks._

"_All_ those flowers were from you?" Gary opened his eyes wide. Bella laughed.

"All those flowers? How many did he send?" Carrie asked

_Flowers are expensive. At least nice ones._ John evaluated me carefully, still concerned about Bella.

Bella glanced at me and blushed. "The house looked like a florist."

_Must have been something bad. Maybe he's not as perfect as he looks. _Tara was re-evaluating her opinion of me.

"There weren't enough flowers in the world to show her how truly sorry I was. It's lucky for me that Bella is forgiving above all logical reasoning." I smiled at Bella and held her hand in mine, placing them on the table.

Gary stared. John stared. Carrie stared. Tara watched all of them and smiled. _This is better than a soap opera. _

_So flowers is what it takes._ Gary raised his eyebrows. _Maybe I should make her think about what he did. I'd like to know, too. I'll have to be subtle though._ "I can't imagine what someone could do that needed all of those flowers to fix it." That was his idea of subtle? He turned to face John. "Flowers all over her house. Even in the bathroom. And her bedroom."

Her bedroom? I forced a growl down my throat. I struggled to remain still. Carrie and John stared, clearly unable to believe even Gary could be so crass. Bella's face flushed hot with anger. Her hand tensed in mine. "And pray tell, when, exactly, did you _see_ my _bedroom_?"

_This is fun. But the guy is so rude. What if I were a real date?_ _I think I'll act like one. _"I'd like to know that, too, Gary." She frowned at him.

John shook his head. _Typical Gary. No wonder he's still single. And Tara seems nice. I'll bet she'll never go out with him again._

Carrie eyed me warily. _He has a temper, that one. The look in his eyes says he wants to rip Gary's head off, but he's hiding it well. Everything else about him is so controlled._

She had no idea.

"Well?" Bella pushed for an answer.

Unrepentant, Gary shrugged. "I went upstairs to use the bathroom. I took a look around."

"You went into my _bedroom_?" Bella's voice rang with righteous indignation, although she remained calm.

Gary frowned. "Come on, it's not a big deal." He rolled his eyes.

"It's a big enough deal," Bella stared at him, her eyes angry and accusing.

That was when the waiter appeared, diffusing the situation as he removed the uneaten tossed salads and replaced them with plates of food. I stared at the chicken Cordon Bleu in front of me. I wondered if I could cut it into small pieces and hurl them across the room into the garbage can without anyone noticing. The cutting and throwing wouldn't be a problem, but someone might notice the chicken as it slowed for the descent into the trash. I smiled at Bella. She grinned back and blushed. They could put a whole chicken on my plate if she kept that up.

"This swordfish looks delicious," Tara murmured.

I found myself amazed when Gary whined, "I wanted the swordfish." What a cretin.

Tara offered to switch, but the waiter interrupted. "I think we can probably find an extra seafood selection." He turned to me. "Would you like swordfish as well, sir?"

"I'm fine with the chicken," I assured him. Bella giggled.

Carrie gave her a puzzled look. "What's so funny?"

Bella's eyes widened. She had no idea what to say. I answered cautiously, "I'm allergic to seafood. I'm afraid it wouldn't be pretty." Bella coughed to hide her laughter this time.

The waiter returned with a plate of swordfish for Gary, and everyone began to eat. Carrie took a few bites, and, as I predicted earlier, repeated her question, only directing it to me this time. "Edward, what do you do?"

Bella didn't look up from her food, but her heart thudded at an anxious pace. I smiled at Carrie and said, "I compose music."

Carrie frowned. _How can he afford flowers like that if he's a musician? _

_Maybe he is running some con._ That was John. He might have doubts about me, but I couldn't help but appreciate his continued concern for Bella.

_That's it. I need to take up an instrument. I wonder what's the easiest thing to learn to play?_ Gary smiled at Bella. No, leered at her. "So Bella's got a thing for the boys in the band. I had no idea." Bella's lips formed a tight line at his words.

What on earth was he talking about? And why had Bella reacted that way?

Then Gary turned to me. "So what kind of band are you in, Edward?"

Bella laughed. "He didn't say he was in a band." She seemed particularly happy to point this out to Gary, whose brow furrowed in confusion.

Carrie picked up on this. "What exactly do you mean compose music? Do you mean you write advertising jingles or something?"

Laughing harder, Bella covered her mouth with her hand.

"Are you not good enough to be in a band?" Gary sneered. _Maybe he's a bad musician._

Now Bella wiped tears from her eyes. She was still giggling, so I assumed that was why she was crying.

I addressed Carrie first, "I do not write advertising jingles. I compose music for the piano." Then to Gary I said, "And I have never wished to be in a band. Although I do enjoy listening to bands. In fact, I enjoy most music." Beside me, Bella managed to calm herself by taking deep breaths. "What exactly did you mean about Bella and the boys in the band?" Because if he was saying something out of line, I _would_ kill him. I'd had enough of his boorish behavior at her expense.

"Just that Bella seems to like musicians. Tony could play anything. All you had to do was hand him an instrument. Remember, John? That time we saw that television show where some woman played _Amazing Grace_ on a saw? And we made a bet that he couldn't figure out how to play one?" Gary chuckled, for the first time sounding like a normal human being instead of a jerk.

John nodded and finished the story. "Big mistake. He borrowed a violin from the music department so he could use the bow, went to the hardware store and bought a saw, fooled around with the damn thing for a few minutes and played the song. He probably sounded better than that woman on TV." He shook his head. "I lost a hundred dollars that day. How much did you lose, Gary? You always bet more than the rest of us."

"More than I care to admit. He was good." Gary grinned. "I always wondered why he didn't take the music route. He could sing, play the guitar and piano, even the drums. He'd have had women throwing themselves at him. He could have gotten so many girls."

I expected that comment to bother Bella, but instead she simply lowered her head and covered her face with her hands. It wasn't enough to hide her burning blush. John coughed uncomfortably.

Gary actually seemed to realize what he'd said. "I know you didn't have to throw yourself at him, Bella. I heard him talking about you. He was hooked from the minute he saw you." _If he hadn't taken one look at her and said, 'I'm going to marry that girl,' I'd have been after her myself. But Tony saw her first._ "The whole night, he was too shy to talk to you until you were ready to leave. If anything, he threw himself at you."

This time, Bella shot John a mortified glance. John winked. _I'll never tell._

Carrie caught the exchange. "What? Are we missing something?" she glared angrily at John. _No keeping secrets. Even if he doesn't want to say it in front of Edward. Or Gary. I'll make him tell me when we get home._

John raised his eyebrows with nonchalance, but didn't reply. _Poor Bella, she's still embarrassed about that._ Carrie looked from one to the other impatiently.

"I did kind of throw myself at him, once," Bella murmured. Her cheeks turned a deep crimson color. "And John was sort of my accomplice, so he knows about it." She met my eyes nervously. I remembered the story she'd told Marietta. She was talking about the night she stopped drinking.

Carrie laughed. "I'd have liked to have seen that. I've never known anyone less likely to throw herself at anyone." She turned to her husband, smacking him good-naturedly across the back of his neck. "And you never told me?"

"I still haven't. I will carry the story with me to the grave," John stated, turning his hand in front of his lips as if he were locking something with a key.

"Such a gentleman," Bella grinned.

"I'm still not going to get to hear that story, am I?" Carrie complained.

He put his arm around her and grinned, "Not unless Bella tells you. But I assure you, my assistance was minimal." He winked at Bella. "She may have thrown herself at him, but obviously, Tony caught her. Of course, that's what he was trying to do all along." John laughed. He glanced at me. _Poor guy. This must be a horrible conversation for him. Awkward._

I liked this couple more and more. They were good friends and clearly had Bella's best interests at heart. They had helped Bella be happy. I was eternally grateful to them for that. And the focus of the conversation had allowed me to play with the food on my plate enough that they might think I'd eaten something while no one was paying attention.

John coughed and brought the subject back around to me. "You were telling us about your work, Edward. You compose music for the piano? Anything we might recognize?"

"Probably not." Absolutely not, actually.

"He wrote a song for me," Bella said demurely.

I rubbed my hand in a circle on her back.

John noticed. He watched Bella carefully. _She seems comfortable with him touching her. Still kind of sketchy about what he does._ He eyed me again. "Is writing music a stable job? Or do you have a fall-back career? I had a friend who was an artist, painted portraits, mostly. But he was licensed as a mortician because he said it was steady work if his art didn't pan out. Everybody eventually needs a funeral."

Bella caught the irony and started coughing furiously as if she had choked. Thank goodness she hadn't been drinking anything when he said that. If she had, I think the whole table would have been covered in it. I patted her back and offered her some water. She grinned at me. "No, really, I'm fine."

"You were asking me something, John?" I really wanted to get the conversation focused away from me and employment.

"Do you have another occupation if writing music doesn't work out?" John had finally reached the point where he was blunt, although still perfectly polite.

I would be, too. "Actually, I've never worried about that. My parents died when I was young. Bella knows my adoptive parents. My biological father was a lawyer and made several excellent investments, which my adoptive father and I have continued to expand and diversify, with the help of my sister, who has unerring talent when it comes to investment counseling." I glanced at Bella, hoping she hadn't begun to laugh. She merely smiled at me, clearly appreciating my description of Alice. It _was_ accurate. "I really have never worried much, at least, not financially. I've been blessed when it comes to both sets of parents in more important ways, as well."

_He seems quite family oriented. He just looks so young. But if age doesn't bother him and it doesn't bother Bella, then it's none of my business. He seems to make her happy._ John smiled at me. _Wonder how he's dealing with Marietta? She's always been such a daddy's girl. Even if she likes him, it can't be easy for either one of them._

If he only knew.

The waiter slipped in to remove our plates as another one wheeled in a cart with the wedding cake, stationing it near the wedding party's table. The bride and groom cut a piece together, and for some inexplicable reason, smashed bits of it into each others' faces. The waiters, in a flurry, distributed cake and champagne to the guests. Bella seemed to enjoy her cake, and I traded our plates so she could have mine, too. The best man, apparently the groom's brother, stood to toast the couple. It was sweet, really. "I never thought the day would come when my brother would tell me I wasn't his best friend anymore. Of course, if I had to choose between me or Anna, I'd pick Anna, too." Everyone laughed as he paused. "But truly, everyone should be so lucky. Anna, Derrick, may you always be best friends."

I noticed that Bella raised her glass but sat it back on the table without sipping from it. I placed mine, untouched, beside it, and twined my fingers around hers before she could move her hand.

_He's so sweet with her. I can't help but like him._ Carrie scrutinized every move I made. It reminded me of the way Jessica had watched me with Bella in high school, only Carrie clearly had better intentions. "They're going to throw the garter next." _Wonder if he'll try to catch it._

"That's such a barbaric custom," I muttered.

Bella grinned. "It's one of the reasons I'm glad I eloped."

"Why do you say it's barbaric?" Tara asked.

"It's a French tradition that dates back to the fourteenth century. A piece of the bride's clothes was considered good luck, so as the bride and groom left, people would try to tear off pieces of her clothing. Someone had the bright idea of tossing a garter to distract people. Somewhere along the line, the tradition changed to the belief that if a man gave his beloved a bride's garter, it guaranteed fidelity."

"And now it's who's going to be the next to get married," Carrie sighed. "I love weddings." She watched Bella's expression carefully. _I wonder if there might be another one?_

"I guess it's come full circle," Gary laughed.

Nodding, I agreed with him. "I suppose it's just a more specific type of good luck than it used to be."

"No, I meant it's bad luck – for the poor guy." Gary seemed to think he was funny.

"That wouldn't be a full circle, Gary. A full circle brings you back to the beginning. You're talking more like one-hundred-and-eighty degrees." Tara pointed out. _Thank goodness I'm not a real date. This guy is such a loser. I hope he wouldn't talk like this around someone he wasn't paying to go out with him._

"Come on, you guys. They're ready," Carrie urged us to join in.

"Not on your life," Gary stated. He nodded to me, "Solidarity, right?"

I glanced at Bella and squeezed her hand. "No. I'm in." I smiled as I left the table.

_He wants to marry her!_ Carrie's thoughts came through like she was screaming. "Bella, he is adorable. Why didn't you tell me about him before? And the way he looks at you. I think he worships the ground you walk on."

"So, do you think he'll really try to catch it, or is this to make a good show? You know, to be romantic so he can score." Gary had no idea what a train wreck he was socially. Or how much he annoyed Bella. Maybe I would strangle him with the garter after I caught it. I watched Bella's responses as I listened to them talk.

"Not everyone thinks the way you do, Gary," John pointed out.

"I'd do it if I wanted to score." One thing about Gary, he wasn't ashamed about being a jerk. "I'll bet you're staying somewhere nice, too." _Expensive hotel, a little room service…_

_Where are they staying? Bella didn't mention it. I wonder if they're near the beach? _Carrie gushed, "Oh, you are! Where?"

"The Ritz-Carlton," Bella mumbled quietly. "And he didn't pick it out so that he could score. I promise you that." Her cheeks blazed with anger.

"On Amelia Island? I'll bet the rooms are gorgeous," Carrie exclaimed. "What's it like?" _He must have a lot of money._

Bella seemed a little embarrassed, but said, "It's quite nice."

_Why is she so red?_ As she recognized the reluctance in Bella's voice, Carrie's eyes widened. "You aren't staying in a room, are you? He got a suite."

"How much money does he have, Bella?" John wanted to know.

She shrugged. "I'm not sure. I don't really want to know. He spends too much on me, anyway."

"You didn't ask, but I'm offering a word of advice, anyway," Tara said quietly. "When a man has a lot of money, spending a little of it isn't that big of a deal. You should enjoy it instead of being embarrassed about it. He obviously enjoys spending it on you. Maybe he just wants to see you happy."

"Did he slide you a tip under the table to get you to say that?" Bella laughed. She shot me a reproachful look.

"Really, he doesn't act like so many wealthy guys. He didn't brag about buying you anything. Yes, he mentioned sending you flowers, but it was Gary who talked about how many flowers the guy sent. Apparently, Edward felt the need to be quite apologetic. Whatever he did, he's dreadfully sorry. And he watches every move you make like you're going to breathe, and he might miss it." Tara sighed. "He's probably making a show of trying to catch the garter because he has a ring in his pocket and plans to propose already."

Ever observant, Carrie noticed Bella's glance in my direction and interrupted Tara. "I saw that, Bella. He's proposed already, hasn't he? What did you say? You did say yes, didn't you? How did he ask? I'll bet it was romantic. He seems like a real romantic." _I can't wait to hear this._

_He proposed? _Gary stared at me.

Bella ignored her questions and turned to watch as Derrick tossed the garter into the air toward the crowd of men. I stood on the fringe near the front. If anyone had ever told me I'd be jostling with a bunch of sweaty humans to catch a tacky scrap of lace, I'd have never believed it. But right now, none of the other guys stood a chance. As ridiculous as this tradition was, something about it was romantic today. I planned on bringing that garter back to the table. I calculated the trajectory and planted myself in the garter's path. Derrick might as well have thrown it right to me.

I grinned triumphantly as I returned to the table. Bella shook her head and rolled her eyes, blushing a deep red. Slipping my fingers through hers, I leaned in to whisper, "I won't give up."

John glanced at Carrie, who beamed as she watched us. _I'm so glad she's happy. _

_I think I'll scare Gary._ Smiling, Tara stood. "Come on, Bella. They're getting ready to throw the bouquet." She winked at me as she tugged on Bella's arm.

"I don't think so," Bella demurred. "That's for people who've never been married."

"Nonsense," Carrie laughed, prodding Bella to join Tara. "It's for any woman who's single."

I watched, amused, as Bella staggered behind Tara. She glanced nervously back at me, and I hoped she didn't fall.

"It's the age thing, isn't it?" Carrie asked softly. _Bella's so stubborn. I hope this guy doesn't give up easily._

"Pardon me?" I said, surprised that she had voiced that thought.

"The age difference. She's uncomfortable with it. I could tell when she avoided my question when I asked how old you are."

She was more right than she could imagine.

"So how old are you?"

I sighed. "Old enough to know that I'm in love with her."

"Give her time. She'll come around," Carrie assured me.

But time was part of the problem.

I watched as the bouquet arced through the air. Bella had positioned herself out of the way, far to the right. She hadn't counted on the bride being left handed. The flowers hurtled directly toward Bella as she stared in shock. By the time she put up her hands to protect her face, the bouquet had smacked into her. Instead of shielding herself, she had trapped the flowers against her head. I chuckled. Only my Bella.

"See. It's an omen," Carrie whispered.

_My wife the matchmaker._

As she returned to the table, Bella stumbled. Thankfully, it was close enough for me to catch her without arousing any suspicions.

"That's so perfect. Edward caught the garter and you caught the bouquet!" Carrie gushed, excited, as Bella sat and placed the flowers on the table.

John laughed, partly at his wife, but also at Gary, who rolled his eyes. I pressed a quick kiss on Bella's cheek, mostly because I wanted to kiss her, although I also enjoyed Gary's reaction. He curled his lip back and wrinkled his nose, oozing resentment. I draped on arm possessively over her shoulder, nuzzled her neck and wrapped my other hand around hers, intertwining our fingers. Bella's heart raced; that sound never ceased to thrill me.

A photographer approached us. "Let's get a picture of the two of you. Why don't you hold the bouquet?"

I hadn't thought about that. I couldn't pose for a photo. "I don't like to have my picture taken," I murmured, glancing at Bella. She had grabbed the flowers. A smile crossed her face. What was she smiling about? She knew I couldn't leave something like that around as evidence.

"Just one," the photographer insisted. "Ready?"

Just as he took the picture, Bella held the flowers toward the camera and kissed me. The photographer scowled and angled the camera for another shot. "Just one, you said," Bella scolded. "That was your one." She winked at me. I turned to the photographer and shrugged. He sighed unhappily as he walked away.

_He really didn't want his picture taken. What's up with that?_ So Gary wasn't totally unobservant. _Why would someone be that nervous about a photograph? Maybe he's a criminal and he thought someone might recognize him. His brother did kind of look like a thug. Maybe all that money is illegal. Wonder if Bella has any idea?_

It was a struggle not to laugh. I'd have to be certain to tell Emmett what Gary thought of him. Although, technically, he was right; I was a criminal. I'd committed murder, arson, theft, forgery, breaking and entering, and probably a few other offenses.

The dancing had begun again, first the bride and groom alone, then the parents, then other members of the wedding party before the guests joined them. "Come dance with me," I murmured in Bella's ear. Reluctantly, she joined me.

"John and Carrie have decided I meet their approval. They were concerned at first, but now Carrie's imagining what _our_ wedding would be like." Her vision of Bella in a wedding dress made me smile. "She sees you as a luminous bride."

"Edward," Bella chastised me. "We can't get married."

I kissed her forehead and breathed in her scent, heaven and hell at the same time. "I told you I wasn't going to give up. I love you, Bella. And you love me. That's all that matters."


	31. Tension

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Tension**_

by silly bella

As usual, Edward planned ahead. "I have a surprise for you," he whispered as he ushered me into the hotel elevator. I raised my eyebrows warily as we rode up to our floor. I wanted to relax with a hot shower. Edward might have made a hit with John and Carrie, but the whole day still left me exhausted. I couldn't believe that I'd caught the bouquet. If Edward hadn't sworn that he'd had nothing what-so-ever to do with it, I'd have been certain that he had dropped it right between my face and my hands. And him catching the garter. I sighed. Carrie was waiting for a wedding invitation from me.

The elevator bell rang quietly and the doors slid open. When we stepped into the corridor, I noticed a woman waiting outside the door to our suite with something that looked like a card table leaning against the wall. She also carried a large rolling suitcase that appeared to be made of wood. "Mr. Cullen?"

Edward nodded, his arm around me as we walked to the doorway. The woman stared at him, transfixed, as he took the keycard from his pocket. She smiled, as if anticipating something pleasant. Edward laughed under his breath.

"If you'll give us a moment," he murmured to the woman, gesturing to the enormous living room before leading me into the bedroom.

Still uncertain what he had in mind, I followed meekly. Once again, I felt too tired to argue. All I really wanted was a hot shower before falling asleep in his arms. I sat, drooping, on the bed, and he whispered, "Wait here."

He disappeared suddenly, and I heard water roaring in the bathroom. It sounded like a rapids in the spring. Almost instantly, he rematerialized. "I think they liked me," he grinned as he sat beside me and wrapped me in his arms.

"You should know how they felt. You can read minds." I couldn't read minds and I knew _exactly_ how they felt. They did like him, even if it had taken a little while for them to warm up to him.

"Still, it worried you." He rubbed his hand, gently, in a circle along the small of my back. "I can still feel the tension." He rolled his eyes. "And Scary Gary didn't help."

"_Scary_ Gary?" Where did that come from? "You think he's scary?"

"That's what Marietta calls him. I think she hates him even more than she hates me. And for once, we agree on something."

I stared incredulously. "You've actually talked to her about him?"

"Maybe I should. It might give us something to bond over." He kissed my cheek and added, "I read her mind that night he came to dinner."

"I should have known he'd be there. I didn't even think about it." I laughed, remembering the startled, deer-in-the-headlights look on Gary's face when he realized that Edward was with me. "That poor girl with him tonight. Tara. I'll bet she never goes out with him again."

"Actually, I believe the whole situation amused her. She wasn't really his date, you know. She's with an escort service."

Insane giggles erupted from my throat. "I'll still bet she never goes out with him again. No matter what he's willing to pay."

He laughed with me for a moment then became abruptly serious. "Still," he whispered, "You've had a stressful day. I thought it might be, so I arranged for a masseuse. There's a hot bubble bath running in the tub. When you finish, she'll be set up in here."

"Edward—"

He shook his head. "I'd give you a massage myself, but I might break you. This is safer."

His eyes smoldered, dazzling me. I didn't have much where-with-all to resist. My body ached, every tense muscle on the brink of ripping apart. Just the bath would feel good, even though I usually took showers. I sighed, simply too tired to argue, and stepped into the steam-filled bathroom.

By the time I'd undressed, the tub was full. I sank into the water, the heat instantly soothing my tired body. I flicked the switch to start the whirlpool. It felt heavenly as the bubbles frothed around me. If I kept this up long, it would end up like an old _I Love Lucy_ show, with suds spilling out onto the floor.

My body relaxed, allowing my mind to wander. They accepted the age difference. It bothered them at first, but they accepted it. I couldn't figure out how, but it proved Alice and Emmett right. At least, for now. But it wouldn't take much time to change that. Each year it would become more and more difficult to explain. Still, Alice had to be doing a little dance of glee if she'd had visions of how tonight had played out.

Sighing, I let the foam cover me until I had no other option and turned the switch off, enjoying the heat of the water and letting go of every thought that tried to pierce my consciousness. Only when the water began to cool did I pull myself up from the froth.

Wrapped in a towel the size of most sheets, I stepped, a little dizzy, into the bedroom. The masseuse waited patiently, although she appeared the tiniest bit disappointed. I dawned on me that when she spied Edward in the hallway, she'd looked forward to massaging him. The idea brought a smile to my face. Good luck relaxing granite.

"I'm Melinda. Is there any part of your body that needs special attention today?" she asked.

How was I supposed to answer that? I'd never had a massage before. Not a professional one, at least. I shrugged. "I don't think so."

"Then if you'll make yourself comfortable on the table, lying on your back, we can start with a facial massage." She gestured to a tall, wooden cot that I recognized, on second glance, as the "suitcase" she'd carried in the hall.

I climbed onto the surprisingly warm bedding and covered myself with the sheet while Melinda turned on a recording of ocean waves. Or maybe she just opened the balcony doors. She cleaned, steamed and massaged my face and head before moving on to my arms and legs. Unwilling to dwell on what might come to mind and too exhausted to think, anyway, I concentrated on how it felt to have the tensions squeezed out. Barely conscious when she asked me to turn over, I drifted off while she soothed the knots in my neck and shoulders.

Finally, after making sure I was awake, she spoke to me in a soft, low voice. "Relax here as long as you like. When you're ready, stand slowly and take a hot shower. Don't go to bed before you do that. I'll get my things when I hear the water."

I nodded and mumbled some response, hoping that she wouldn't have to wake me. My body felt like spaghetti. I stood as soon as I could, scared that I would slip into solid slumber. Walking between the table and the shower in the dim light felt like stumbling through molasses. Probably because on some level, my body felt relaxed enough to think it was asleep. Even the steamy water pelting against my skin didn't truly wake me, although I found myself a bit more alert.

Realizing that I hadn't brought anything to wear into the bathroom with me, I wrapped myself in another of the huge towels. On a chair near the bathroom door lay a pair of dark blue silk pajamas and a cold bottle of water. Apparently, Edward had been shopping again.

I took the water with me as I searched both the closet and the drawers for my own nightclothes without any luck. Tempted to test Edward's reaction to me sleeping naked instead of wearing this latest extravagance, I decided not try it because I was too sleepy to really enjoy the results. I dressed and slipped between the soft covers on the bed.

Almost instantly, Edward appeared, his cool lips pressed against my cheek. "Feel better?" he whispered between kisses.

"Uh-hmm."

"Sleep, Bella, love, sleep," he murmured in my ear. I settled against him and in the loving circle of his arms, fell deeply asleep.


	32. Heart to Heart

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

And YES, I plan to finish this story. Sometimes it just takes longer to get a chapter ready to post.

_**Heart to Heart**_

by silly bella

The irresistible smell of bacon wafted through the air. Suddenly, I was starving. I opened my eyes to find Edward sitting at the foot of the bed. The doors to the balcony stood open, a soft breeze flowing through the room. Edward had pulled the drapes open, as well, and in the bright morning sunlight, his hands and face sparkled.

"I didn't mean to wake you," Edward whispered. "You seemed to be stirring about a half-an-hour ago, and I thought I'd order breakfast so you didn't have to wait." A crooked smile crept over his face. "Do you have any idea how beautiful you look when you wake up in the morning?"

Beautiful was not the adjective I would have chosen. I rubbed the sleep out of my eyes and brushed a hand through my hair. "You have a thing for the bed-head look?"

"On you, I do."

I glanced at the tray of food. "Are we expecting company for breakfast?" Had he invited Carrie and John to join us while I was in the bathroom or something? Carrie _was_ interested in what the suites looked like.

Edward chuckled. "No. I just wasn't sure what you might want to eat."

"So you ordered everything on the menu?" It did look good. I smelled it again. Bacon, an omelet, hashed browns, biscuits, French toast, fresh fruit, pastries, three kinds of juice, coffee and a tea. And oddly, a small box of cereal. I reached for the orange juice; absolutely certain it was fresh squeezed. He placed it in my hand and scrutinized me drinking like I was a concert violinist playing a difficult solo.

"Strawberry?" he asked, and before I could speak, his graceful fingers held one near my mouth. It was huge and awkward for me to bite, but the fruit was luscious and sweet. He watched, transfixed as I chewed. "Bacon?"

"How did you know?"

He shrugged. "You looked at it longer than you looked at the other things."

This time, the strip of bacon appeared before my mouth. Not quite as romantic as a strawberry, but tasty just the same. As I chewed, he dropped his hand for a clear view of my face. "Are you planning on hand-feeding me everything on that tray?"

"If you want me to."

I laughed, imagining him trying to feed me scrambled eggs—or worse, grits—with his fingers. "I think I'll go with a fork."

He moved the tray to give me better access, and I began to eat. His eyes followed every movement I made, but otherwise, he remained still and silent. He'd always watched me that way, fascinated by the smallest, most mundane things. As usual, it made me blush.

"I meant it, you know," he said when he finally spoke, his face solemn.

"Meant what?" I asked, placing my fork on the plate and pushing the tray across the bed. I knew I needed to listen, not eat.

"That I'll keep asking you to marry me."

I frowned. "Exactly how would marriage change our relationship? Explain that to me. It would never be a real marriage. You're too afraid of hurting me."

He winced. "Marriage isn't solely about sex, Bella."

"You're right; it isn't. But sexuality is an _important_ part of a marriage. And it's something you won't even think about."

"Oh, I think about it," he assured me as he lowered his eyes, refusing to look at me.

That was interesting. "So you _think_ about having sex with me?" I felt uncertain about how to interpret his statement. It made sense. He was seventeen, at least on some level, even if he'd been seventeen for more than a hundred years. It occurred to me, suddenly, that he was still a virgin. Could it be more than worry for my safety that held him back? "You just won't _do_ anything about it. Are you scared—"

"Bella, you know why we can't—"

"No. No, I don't know. And neither do you." I sighed, frustrated in more ways than one.

He looked away, staring out the window to the sunny beach. "I envy Tony so much. The things he could give you."

"What could he give me that you can't? Or just won't?"

He turned back to face me and lifted my hand gently, stroking my fingers with his own. "He could love you with abandon while I must constantly restrain myself. He could give you children."

"I never really wanted children. That's why Mari Alice is an only child." That got his attention. "Don't misunderstand me," I explained. "I love Mari Alice. I can't imagine my life without her, now. But I did _not_ want children. At least not then. I might have changed my mind later."

He narrowed his eyes, confused. "You really didn't want children? I knew that it wasn't a planned pregnancy with Marietta, but I had no idea."

I shook my head. "I didn't even really want to get married, Edward. But Tony asked, and I was scared. Afraid that if I said no, he'd end things. Leave me. I knew that I couldn't survive that. I loved him, but more than that, I needed him. Some days he was the only thing that held me together. I had to marry him. To make sure he didn't leave."

"He gave you an ultimatum?" His eyes flashed, dark as I'd ever seen them.

"No. He just asked me to marry him. I know _now_ that he'd have waited, but I didn't know it then. He really let me make the decisions. I wanted to elope. The idea of a big, formal wedding terrified me, even though it appealed to him. And he was fine when I said I didn't want any more kids, even though I think he probably would have liked some. He made life easy for me."

"And I complicate things," he whispered, his voice so faint I could barely hear him. He drew his hand away from mine and stared over the terrace again.

"More than you can imagine."

He shut his eyes, his lashes like dark lace over his pale skin. "Was it so complicated yesterday at the wedding? I know Carrie and John asked a great many questions, but other than that, did it feel complicated?"

I sighed. I knew he saw the wedding as a test. "Not as complicated as I thought."

"The age difference didn't matter to them any more than it does to me." He opened his eyes, looking over the ocean again before turning to me. "But it matters so much to you."

"It does matter to me. And I've told you before; the age difference will only grow worse." We'd gone over this so many times, and it looked like we wouldn't manage to drop the topic any time soon.

"And I am _not_ scared."

"Are you sure about that? There's nothing wrong with being scared," I said quietly. "You were angry on the beach when I called you a boy. But you are, Edward. At least in many ways."

He started to protest, but I placed a finger against his lips.

"You are innocent, Edward. For all your years, utterly innocent. Maybe even more innocent than I was at seventeen. Probably." I took a deep breath. "I've thought about it often, you know. From a different point of view. The mother in me says that we were so wrong. You may have looked seventeen, but you were more than a hundred years old and I was seventeen. But you were innocent. As innocent as a real teenager. That's what made it okay, that we were _both_ innocent."

I could see the anger in his eyes, flashing black. I don't believe he'd ever been angry at me before.

Gently, he pulled my hand away from his mouth. "You think I'm _innocent_? Bella, how do you just ignore the fact that I'm a vampire? That I've _killed_ people?"

How could I make him understand? "There are different types of innocence," I whispered as I slipped my fingers through his. I leaned forward, ignoring the rattle of the dishes as the mattress shifted. With his hand still clasped to mine, I kissed the lower joint of his thumb before I ran my tongue along his knuckles. He gasped. I climbed over the bed to his lap and kissed his jaw and along his neck. "Remember when you used to do this to me?"

His eyes were wide as he nodded, unable to speak as my lips closed on the lobe of his ear. He leaned against the bedpost.

With my free hand, I unbuttoned his shirt and stroked his chest before I pressed my cheek against his skin. I pushed the shirt off his body and pulled the sleeves inside-out until they trapped his arms. He trembled as I kissed him, my lips trailing over his body and finally, back to his face. When my lips brushed against his, I breathed, "Innocent."

Then he ripped the shirt so he could take me in his arms. His lips pressed against my cheek and then down my neck. He inhaled my scent and whispered, "Not so innocent," and leaned me back until I rested on the bed. "Not innocent at all."


	33. Family

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers. Also, thanks to my friend Stefano for the Italian translations. Stefano, if you ever read this, know that you are wonderful! Grazie. You should be able to get the gist of the Italian in the story, but you'll find translations at the end of the chapter.

_**Family**_

by silly bella

I followed Bella's directions through the maze of streets, preparing myself for Marietta's mental onslaught. And, I have to admit, I wanted to meet Tony's family. To stare down the people who had never allowed Bella to feel welcome.

Still, that probably would not come close to the most unnerving part of my day. No, that had come earlier, when we left the hotel. Reluctantly, Bella had expressed her desire to visit Tony's grave. I understood. She lived across the country now. Returning to Jacksonville was not a trip she could make frequently. He had been her husband. It was only natural that she would want to visit his grave. And that she would feel uncomfortable about telling me.

We decided to leave the hotel just before sunset, in time to visit the grave before the cemetery closed at dusk. I drove, the dark windows of the sedan concealing my nature from public view. But once we arrived, I had to wait in the car, clenching my teeth. I wouldn't have fared any better if I had stayed at the hotel. I would have only paced the floor the whole time she was gone. I wondered what this felt like for her. My parents were buried in Chicago. I had been to their graves. But it is expected that parents will die before their children do. Bella thought she would grow old with the man buried here. I breathed, trying to still my anger. Not at her. Never at her. Not even at him. At my own jealousy. Even now, as I tried to control one of the basest emotions, I should have concentrated instead on how she felt.

I watched her, holding my breath and trying not to break the steering wheel off its rack. She crouched, leveling herself with the stone, and reached out to touch it. Or maybe to balance herself. I breathed deeply, finally admitting that she craved the physical contact with the granite. Something to anchor her to him. Her lips moved, and I tried to hear her words, but only the soft brush of air and her heartbeat registered. She knew I could hear what she was saying, so she was mouthing the words without speaking. I tried to read her lips, a skill I had never attempted to master, since I could read everyone else's thoughts.

The grave was beautiful, a trellis bowered with trumpet vines and clematis on the back, a mix of iris and lilies at the front and sides, and behind it all, a brilliant sunset casting radiant beams that made Bella seem like an angel, a halo around her entire body.

I read the engraving. 'Anthony Pietro Baldovino. Beloved.' It stunned me a bit. I had never even thought about Tony being a nickname for Anthony. My middle name. And such an achingly simple expression of emotion. Beloved. So filled with meaning, Bella had needed no other words to express how she felt.

Then she stood, kissed her hand and touched it to the stone before walking slowly to the car.

Once inside the car, she shook her head and laughed. "I can't look at that stone without thinking of the arguments it caused."

"Arguments?"

She nodded as we drove away in the hastening darkness. "I had planned to put 'Beloved Husband and Father' on it. But his mother insisted that it also read 'Son' and then his sisters wanted 'Brother' added. I thought 'Beloved Husband, Father, Son and Brother' was just a little over the top. I figured just putting 'Beloved' would work for everyone. It didn't go over well with his mother. I halfway suspected that she might have had 'Son' added after I moved."

I wasn't sure whether or not she was serious, so I didn't comment. I just reached for her hand and held it tightly while I listened to her directions to the Baldovino home, hoping to sooth some of her tension. I wondered what fresh hell Marietta might have in mind for me.

The non-descript bungalow sat close to the road. A worn patina declared its use through multiple generations of family. I could hear a mix of thoughts and voices—in English and Italian—that made the identification easy, and I pulled into the drive without waiting for Bella's cue.

"How did you know that was the house?" Her hand clenched mine tightly, an instinctive response to stress.

"Marietta is inside. I can hear her."

Bella sighed and seemed to collect herself before letting go of my hand. I met her as she opened the car door. "You shouldn't come," she whispered hoarsely.

"Whether I should or not, I am. They have not been kind to you in the past. I will not allow you walk in there alone." In contrast to Bella's friends, I didn't much care what Tony's family thought about me. Maybe I could even draw some of the heat. I took Bella's hand in mine. "Come on. Let's do this," I whispered, kissing her neck just below her ear. Her heart beat madly, but this time, I knew it wasn't just my kiss. She dreaded walking into that house.

She breathed deeply again, then led me up the walk. She knocked on the door and we waited for someone to answer.

It surprised me when a young man, probably only a couple of years older than Marietta answered the door. "Aunt Bella. Come in." He glanced nervously at me. "Gram," he called out, "Aunt Bella's here."

Aunt Bella. Of course Tony's siblings had children. I had not even thought about that.

I followed Bella inside. The living room teemed with people of all ages. Most of them, with the exception of the children, dwarfed Bella. I smelled the remnants of dinner: something with chicken and tomato sauce.

A woman in an apron stepped through a doorway in the back of the room. She glared at Bella. "Quella puttana scopa bambini e'spompata dal fine settimana a letto col ragazzino. Che disone per mio figlio."

A few of the other people in the room, I suspected the ones who spoke Italian, shot each other sharp looks.

_Well,_ s_he __**is**__ cradle-robbing._

_She should be a better example for Marietta._

_Is he one of her students?_

I met Gram Marietta's gaze and held back the acid in my voice as I responded, "Grazie per l'affettuosa acconglienza" I could be polite even though I didn't much feel like it. The others stared at me. "Le posso assicurare che sembro molto piu'giovane di quanto sono."

_He speaks Italian._

_He understood that._

_If looks could kill, half of the people in this room would be dead._

Marietta Baldovino the elder narrowed her eyes at me. _He's a baby. She's corrupting him the way she corrupted my son. _

Marietta Baldovino the younger observed the whole interaction, frowning. _He better not have been rude to my Gram Marietta._

I smiled at her and nodded to the others in the room. "Bella didn't get a chance to introduce me. I'm Edward Cullen." Then I let go of Bella's hand and wrapped my arm around her. I could feel her trembling.

Nervous chatter filled the room and a couple of people stepped up to introduce themselves or to speak to Bella. Marietta wound her way through the crowd to reach my other side. "What did you say to my Gram Marietta?" Her voice stung with accusation. "I saw how everyone reacted. It must have been bad."

"Quite the contrary," I explained. "I thanked her for welcoming us into her home and let her know that I'm not as young as I look."

"Is that what she said to you? Welcome?"

I didn't think Bella would appreciate me translating the vulgar Italian. "Perhaps you should ask your grandmother what she said to your mother."

"Why won't you tell me what she said?" Marietta positively fumed.

"Because I refuse to use that kind of language around a young lady. Or around your mother. Or around your grandmother, even if she did use it first." The words clipped out of my mouth more sharply than I intended.

Her brow furrowed as she contemplated that. Slowly, she turned her gaze to her grandmother. _I still hate you Edward, but if she really cussed at Mom, then I'm ready to leave._ She pursed her lips, still uncertain._ Did she really say something bad?_ She turned back to me.

I nodded.

_I can't believe I'm about to do this. _

Marietta ducked under my free arm and smiled up at me. "I hope you and Mom had a good time at the wedding. I missed you." _This may be your one chance to play happy family. Don't blow it. And don't get any ideas. This is for Mom. I never realized before how much Daddy used to protect her around his family. Now it's my turn._

It was all I could do to keep from stammering when I spoke. "We missed you, too."

_Okay, Edward, get us out of here. Now. I don't know how long I can keep this up. And if Mom acts too confused, it'll ruin everything. I don't want to have all this effort to be for nothing._

"When does the plane leave?" she prodded.

"Soon. We're actually running a little late and should get on the road. We stopped by the cemetery on the way." I hoped adding that last bit wasn't a mistake.

When Marietta shot me a sly grin, I knew it wasn't. _Nice touch, but don't overdo it._

"Need me to carry your bag to the car?" I asked, hoping to move things along.

"It's right there." She pointed to the landing at the bottom of the stairs. "Bye, Gram Marietta. Everybody." She waved and blew her grandmother a kiss. "C'mon, Mom. We better get going," she added as she turned and led a stunned Bella to the car.

"So nice to meet you all," I said to no one in particular as we made our abrupt exit. Then I followed Bella and Marietta out to the car, suitcase in hand. They climbed into the car as I stashed the luggage in the trunk.

"What was that about?" Bella asked as I slid behind the steering wheel.

I figured Marietta could answer that.

She caught my eye in the rear-view mirror. "Now. Tell me. What did she say? Because if you don't tell me, I'll ask Emmett."

"He won't tell you for the same reason I won't."

Marietta pursed her lips and crossed her arms over her chest. It was a perfect image of Bella in the same insistent mood. Stubborn. Fearless. "Then I'll ask Rosalie."

I thought about that. Rosalie didn't need to hear just how bad things were with Bella's in-laws.

"I'd like to know, too," Bella said, her voice low and emotionless.

The two of them waited in silence. Finally, I broke. "Your grandmother called your mother a prostitute who makes a living teaching young boys about sex." The woman had impeccable timing, after I had spent the day giving my paltry best to persuade Bella that I wasn't some innocent boy no matter how old I looked. I knew more than most people did about sex long before Bella was born. I had been privy to the most lurid thoughts and graphic mental images in every hotel, airplane, even restaurant, for more than a hundred years. I had told Bella what I wanted to do to her. With her. Every detail of how I would worship her body if only I could. She had blushed crimson at my words, but insisted that no matter what I thought, what I said, it was what I did or didn't do that made me innocent. And I could never do what she wanted. Not without killing her. "Your grandmother made a nasty comment implying her assumptions about how your mother and I spent the weekend. Then she said that your mother was unfaithful to your father because of me. She thought some nasty things, too. That your mother was corrupting me and that she had corrupted your father."

Bella hung her head and sighed. "I figured it was something like that."

"She didn't say it like you did, though, did she?" Marietta asked.

I pressed my lips together and tried to hide my anger. "No. She didn't."

Marietta chewed her lower lip, pensive. Then once again, her eyes met mine in the mirror. "Thank you for getting us out of there fast, then. Mom shouldn't have to listen to that, even if she can't understand it. Most of them _can_, and none of them spoke a word in her defense."

I nodded, afraid to negate this tenuous connection by saying the wrong thing. Bella remained quiet, but perceptive as ever. She seemed to intuitively understand the groundbreaking nature of this discussion.

"She's gotten worse since Daddy died, hasn't she?"

Bella sighed, obviously looking for the diplomatic answer. "Children aren't supposed to die before their parents do, Mari Alice. I can't imagine how that would feel, and I wouldn't want to. I think she's angry because he's gone. To a certain extent, it's like he left her."

"It's not like it was your fault," Marietta blurted.

"It's not anybody's fault, sweetie. But she'd rather be angry at me than at your father."

That didn't satisfy Marietta. "That isn't fair, Mom."

"Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair." Bella teased.

I couldn't help grinning as my thoughts flashed back to Bella saying those exact words to me.

"What are you smirking about?" Marietta spat.

"Actually, I was remembering your mother telling me that life isn't fair."

Bella narrowed her eyes and stared at me, curious.

"In biology. The first day after I came back from Alaska. When you explained to me why you came to live in Forks, even though it made you unhappy." Her sacrifice for her mother's happiness.

"Why did you go to Forks, Mom?"

"Phil was on the road with the baseball team. Renée missed him." Bella paused. "They had just married. I moved to Forks to live with Charlie so they could be together."

"You _chose_ to live in Forks?" Marietta couldn't hide her disbelief. Not that she wanted to. "Why on earth?"

"It made a lot of people happy. And eventually, it made me happy, too."

Until I left her. I tightened my grip on the steering wheel.

Bella reached for my hand as if she knew what I'd just thought. Reassuring me, just as she had tried to ease Marietta's mind earlier. Just as she always did. I wondered if she would ever put herself first.

_Translations_

The first comment is rather vulgar, while the second and third comments are stiffly formal and old-fashioned usage.

_Quella puttana scopa bambini e'spompata dal fine settimana a letto col ragazzino. Che disone per mio figlio._ That cradle-robbing whore is worn out from her weekend of corrupting that boy. She is cheating on my son.

_Grazie per l'affettuosa acconglienza._ Thank you for welcoming us into your home.

_Le posso assicurare che sembro molto piu'giovane di quanto sono._ And I assure you, I'm not as young as I look.


	34. Soul Searching

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

_**Soul Searching**_

by silly bella

Mari Alice had fallen soundly asleep in the row ahead of us, her cheek flat against the plane window. A few lights around the cabin glowed dimly, but most people had turned them off. One thing about a late flight: people slept.

I wished I could.

Edward sat silently beside me. I don't believe I've ever been so glad that he couldn't read my mind. But tonight, he could probably guess, just as he'd managed to figure out I didn't want to talk. Instead, he simply held my hand, his cool fingers gently pressed against mine.

He wanted me to marry him. I couldn't figure out why that seemed so important to him. He didn't plan on changing me into a vampire. Even if he wanted to, that wouldn't work. Not with Mari Alice. I couldn't figure out any tangible way our relationship would change just because of some ceremony. I wouldn't feel any different about him. He already loved me enough to want to marry me, so I didn't figure his feelings would change much, either. He'd made it clear earlier today the possible extent of our physical relationship. At least, his idea of the possibilities. He hadn't convinced me there yet. At least now I knew that he _thought_ about sex. But like his other appetites, he kept a tight reign on those desires.

Then there was Marietta. Although she'd behaved reasonably tonight, I couldn't count on it in the future. She'd made it clear, and fairly often, that she hated Edward. To a certain extent, I found her vehemence amusing, given her earlier infatuation with him. She would probably feel the same way about anyone I dated.

She played mind-games on him; that I knew. I didn't want to imagine what kind of messages she sent him in her thoughts. Both of them hid it, but neither of them did a good job of it. Mari Alice would give him a Medusa stare, and he inevitably turned utterly still, like a statue.

I did love him. I finally accepted that would never change.

But that brought me back to the simple logistics of loving him. Any day, people might notice the Cullens and wonder how they'd managed to remain unchanged for the past fifteen years. Miraculously, no one had detected that they had returned to the big white house on the river, probably because it was so far out. Emmett and Rosalie had rigged up a generator for electricity. They didn't need a telephone, since they each had state-of-the-art cell phones. I had no idea how they got water, but I felt reasonably certain it wasn't from any municipal source. But if they stayed much longer, someone was sure to discover them.

They needed to leave. Soon. But I couldn't go with them. In less than a month, school would start. I had a job. Responsibilities. Mari Alice. I couldn't just leave.

Which meant I had to face losing Edward once again.

He must have seen something in my expression, because his lips formed a severe line. "Why do I get the feeling that I wouldn't like what you're thinking if I could hear it?"

I laughed, certain that he wouldn't like it all.

"You aren't going to tell me, either, are you?"

"Not right now," I whispered and squeezed his hand. I'd have to tell him eventually. Unless…

What if I did marry him? Mari Alice would hate that, but she'd love the chance to call Emmett and Rosalie family.

And Charlie. What could I do about Charlie? I shut my eyes, seeing myself like my father. Old. Feeble. Mentally altered. Edward beside me, unchanged. This was so much worse than the dream I'd had so long ago. But was it worse than living the rest of my life without him?

I sighed, so tired I could barely move, and settled my body against Edward. I barely heard him ask the flight attendant for some blankets and floated between sleep and waking while he wrapped me in them. The last thing I remembered was his cool lips brushing against mine.


	35. Round Midnight

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers.

'_**Round Midnight**_

by silly bella

Bella breathed deeply as she slept, tired after the plane ride home. She murmured, "I love you," and the words, as always, thrilled me to the core. After twisting a strand of her hair behind her ear, I inhaled her scent. It was still difficult for me to believe I'd survived so long without her.

"What on earth are you doing?" Marietta hissed.

I jerked up. I'd heard Marietta wandering through the house, but hadn't realized she was headed to Bella's room. Obviously, I needed to pay more attention. I wasn't quite sure what to say.

She shook her head and eyed me with disgust. "I thought you might have been lying, you know. That you just didn't want to tell me that you were sleeping together."

I wasn't sure what suddenly made her decide to believe the truth. Apparently, something she saw made things clear.

As if _she_ could read _my_ mind, she spoke. "You're not even under the covers. I mean, that's weird."

"No, it's practical. It's warmer for your mother that way," I shrugged.

Bella murmured something unintelligible and pressed against me. For a moment, I thought we might have awakened her, but she settled, her breathing slowing to a steady pace.

Marietta waited to see if her mother would wake before she whispered, "I never thought about that." She frowned and leaned against the doorframe, sliding down to the floor. "I really thought –" Her voice faded into nothing. It surprised me how openly she was speaking. There were no underlying thoughts, no anger. She wasn't hiding anything.

"You thought you'd just surprise us and see what we were doing?" I couldn't help smiling. It was ridiculous.

Her face pinched together. "I didn't think of it that way." As if she suddenly remembered something, she tiled her head and asked, "You were smelling her again, weren't you? Like in the car. What does she smell like? Flowers?"

"That's not so far off." I glanced at Bella. "She smells like flowers to me. Freesia, actually."

"That's just so wrong." She narrowed her eyes. "What about if she's all sweaty or something? Do you still like the way she smells?" She wrinkled her nose.

"She always smells good to me because I smell her blood. It's a strong scent, particularly for me."

Marietta stared at the wall as if trying to avoid looking at me—or us. "What else do you do? Rosalie told me that you don't sleep. Do you just lie there all night—sniffing her up?"

Sniffing her up? I chuckled quietly. "I listen to her breathe. Or her heartbeat. Sometimes she talks in her sleep. I like that part."

"What does she say? In her sleep, I mean?" she asked.

"It depends on what she's dreaming about," I murmured quietly.

Her eyebrows knit together. "Can't you tell? You _can_ read minds."

Bella sighed. Had we awakened her? Her hand groped along the pillow, and finding mine, stilled. She sighed contentedly in her sleep. I returned my attention to Marietta. "Not hers. Rosalie didn't tell you that?" Now that surprised me. Rosalie seemed to like telling Marietta about things that annoyed me.

She faced me again. "I never thought to ask. She just told me that you can read minds."

"You just asked her out of the blue if I could hear other people's thoughts?" I couldn't help laughing softly.

"No," Marietta frowned. "I asked her what would irritate you. She suggested I think about annoying things because you could read minds. I had no idea that you couldn't read Mom's mind. That must drive you crazy."

"More than you can imagine," I nodded.

She was silent for a while, her mind strangely blank. I assumed she was simply exhausted from the plane ride home. I thought she might fall asleep there on the floor, but then she spoke again. "Gram Renée hates you."

That wasn't exactly a surprise. After all, I'd heard Renée's thoughts and her angry words when we'd dropped Marietta off.

"But she's not as bad as Gram Marietta. She's never liked Mom much, anyway. But when I told her about you, it was different. She acted like Mom killed Daddy or something so she could be with you. " Marietta closed her eyes and swallowed.

I could hear her grandmother's words echoing in her mind. They were ugly.

She chewed her lip. It was a habit she must have picked up from Bella. "Thank you again for getting us away from Gram Marietta. I never understood why she didn't seem to like Mom, but now I wonder if Gram Marietta feels about Mom the way I feel about you."

"That's quite possible." I wasn't sure what else to say, but it sounded like a reasonable comparison.

"I told her it wasn't like that. The things she said. I told her that you didn't sleep together. That's why I came in here. I wanted to be sure that I wasn't lying." She closed her eyes tightly and I could see, even in the darkness, the tears on her lashes. "It's just that… that you touch her all the time."

I waited. I didn't want to interrupt her.

Tears spilled over her eyes and her voice quivered as she spoke. "It's like you're trying to take his place." _Damn it. Damn it. Damn it. Why did I have to cry in front of him?_ Her openness had cost her.

"Marietta," I whispered her name softly, unsure of the best way to respond. The wrong words could destroy her tenuous trust. "I can't take his place."

"But you want to," she accused.

It was something I had to think about. How could I explain this to her? Make her believe that there was no way I could ever hope to take her father's place? I sighed and began, "I'm quite jealous of your father for so many reasons."

She stared at me, unbelieving, blinking her tears away. "I don't understand."

"When I left your mother, I wanted her to be happy. Your father made her happy. He gave her a life that I could never have given her. Never will be able to give her." I thought about all the things I wanted to do for Bella, and knew they paled in comparison to her life with Tony.

"You can give her anything. You and your family have more money than God," she laughed bitterly.

"I don't think God has a bank account, Marietta," I said, hoping to at least make her smile. "And the things your father gave Bella are things no amount of money can buy."

She rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. "Like what?"

"Like you," I whispered. One thing for certain I could never give Bella: a child. "And she depended on him. You do know she's terrified that she's going to mess up with you now that he's gone."

"What do you mean?" She didn't seem to understand.

Maybe I shouldn't have said anything. It was too late now, as Marietta waited impatiently for an answer. "Your mother is scared of being a bad parent. She says that your father did the hard parenting, and she's not sure what to do without him."

"But that isn't true," Marietta sputtered. "Mom has always been the tough one. The one who made the rules. She made sure everything was… right. Daddy was more fun. He _was_ better when I hurt myself. A skinned knee could make Mom pass out. But the rest of the time she was calm. She worried about things, but she was never frantic. I think that's one reason Gram Marietta has been so angry at her since Daddy died. Mom was so calm, almost like nothing had happened. But I heard her, one night, crying alone. I think she just didn't want me to see how hard it was for her."

I nodded. "That sounds like your mother. She worries about other people more than she does herself. She always has. And she's always reacted to rather frightening things with an unnerving coolness. She worried about what might happen to me and my family if I couldn't control myself around her and didn't bring her home. And when she met my family, she wasn't afraid because they were vampires; she was afraid that they might not like her." I laughed at the memory of how nervous she was that night.

"I think the only time I've ever really seen Mom flip out was when I found that stuff under the floorboard." She rolled her eyes at me. "Like I said, she worries, but she doesn't flip out."

"She was pretty upset that day." I remembered her panic. "She'd been trying to figure out a way to tell you, you know. She had no idea how to do it without hurting you."

"Why didn't she just take me to Carlisle to begin with?" Sometimes Marietta was almost as practical as Bella.

"That would have been easier, but your mother wanted to be the one to tell you. She just didn't know what to say." Bella stirred in her sleep once more, mouthing something but making no sound. I wanted to trace her lips with my fingers and feel her warm breath on my hand. But I restrained myself. Marietta seemed to have called a truce and I didn't want to spoil it.

She nodded, accepting what I had said. "Earlier, you said when you left you wanted her to be happy. But why did you leave? She was happy with you, wasn't she?"

"I was dangerous for her."

Her brow furrowed and she tilted her head, evaluating what I'd said. "Dangerous? You mean because you wanted her blood?"

"That was certainly part of it. But it wasn't just me. My family works very hard to maintain our 'vegetarian' diet. One way we do that is by avoiding constant contact with humans. By bringing your mother into my world, I placed her in danger. Not just from enemies, but even from my own family." I remembered my terror, as Jasper strained against Emmett and Rosalie to reach Bella.

Marietta nodded thoughtfully. "So what about you? Mom had Daddy. Was there anyone you loved?"

I shook my head. "I will never love anyone but your mother."

"Mom says it's possible to love two people. That loving you doesn't mean she loved Daddy less."

"It's different for vampires. I will always love her, and nothing can change that. There will never be anyone else for me." I kept my voice steady. Marietta didn't need to hear the deep longing I had for her mother. Or the sadness that filled me at the thought of losing Bella one final time to death. My life would be over then, as well.

"You never loved anyone before Mom?" Marietta seemed shocked.

"Never." I remembered when I first realized that I loved her. "It surprised me, the intensity of the emotions I felt for the first time. Romantic love. Jealousy. It was overwhelming."

Marietta nodded. "But still, you left."

"Yes." I could barely speak.

"What did you do? While you were apart, I mean," she asked with hesitation, as if she wasn't sure she wanted to hear my answer.

How could I explain the emptiness without seeming melodramatic? "For a while I tried tracking a vampire. The mate of the vampire who hunted your mother. I wasn't very good at that." Should I tell her the rest? "I ended up in Rio, curled up in an attic. But Alice saw me in a vision and sent Emmett after me." Her ears perked up at the mention of Emmett. "He was careful, worried that I might hear his thoughts and know he was coming. But I wasn't hearing individual voices anymore. Everything had become a blur of noise. I hadn't fed for a long time, which disappointed Emmett. He was looking forward to a bit of a challenge, but I had no fight in me."

"That's hard to imagine. All of you are so strong," she whispered. "What happened after Emmett brought you home?"

"For a while, I just lay there. I'd just exchanged that attic in Rio for my bedroom. I wasn't even sure where we were at first. But Esme worried so much. I had to make it easier for her. For everyone. Jasper helped me check on your mother." Should I tell her? "I thought about finding her, going to her and begging her forgiveness. But by then she was married to your father. She'd moved on, like I wanted. She was happy. I didn't want to know any more."

Then Marietta surprised me. "What if she hadn't been happy? What if my father had been some horrible man instead? Someone who hurt her?"

"I believe that Alice would have seen it if something traumatic happened." I tried to convince myself. But what if she hadn't been able to? What if Tony had been a different sort of man? I found myself even more grateful that the man I envied so much had been a part of Bella's life.

"Why do you always call her 'your mother' when you talk about her?" She watched me intently, waiting for my answer.

"It seems to bother you less when I do that instead of using her name."

Marietta nodded. "It's all right for you to call her Bella."

I smiled, wondering to what I owed this largess.

Once more, Bella moved, murmuring in her sleep. This time, both Marietta and I could hear what she said. "I love you, Edward."

"I think I'm going to be sick." Marietta rolled her eyes. "I'm going to bed now. I hope this doesn't give me nightmares."

Our truce was over.


	36. Blood in the Water

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Alphie, Be My Escape and Bronzehairedgirl for their help and patience with this story. They were all so much more than beta readers. And another nod to BHG… while this is an alternate reality and not really related to her canon-based series, **Meet the McCartys**, where Emmett is such a wonderful uncle, I couldn't resist playing with that idea. If you haven't read her story, here's a link: /twilight/viewstory.php?sid413.

And, just so you know when you get there, since Emmett won't be available to explain it to you, a heifer is a young cow who has never given birth.

Also, because I know some of you are going to ask: No, this is not the end of the story. I am having some trouble with the next part, though. And fair warning: BHG said that even though she knows how the rest of the story goes, this part made her cry. You may want to have some tissues handy.

_**Blood in the Water**_

by silly bella

He meant what he said. Every day, at least once a day, Edward asked me to marry him. He was determined. And romantic. And creative. And even persuasive. He couldn't understand why I continued to refuse.

Alice joined in the campaign. It quickly became an obsession with her. "He has something wonderful planned for today. You really should say yes." She frowned and sighed, disappointed. "But you won't."

On the other hand, Emmett saw the whole thing as inevitable and a source of endless humor. "Just imagine it. Edward as a stepfather. Do you think I could get Marietta to call him Pop? I can see his face now. I could teach her Lewis Carroll's 'You Are Old, Father William' and change it to 'You Are Old, Father Edward.' You have to admit, it would be funny. And I'd be Uncle Emmett. I was a good uncle when I was human. I liked it, too. I'd enjoy being an uncle again."

I wasn't so sure that even Emmett would be able to convince Mari Alice to call Edward anything remotely related to father. It was purely theoretical, anyway. My answer would remain a solid 'no' when it came to Edward's proposals. The image of me at sixty and him as a perpetual teenager assured that. I had absolutely no intention of looking like my husband's grandmother.

Still, I wondered what he had in mind today?

He'd tried simple and straightforward. Recited poetry. Composed music. He asked formally. He even asked casually, probably a difficult thing for him to do.

Aside from saying no, I spent a good deal of time trying to figure how to stop him from this awkward course of action.

At least he and Mari Alice had come to some sort of ceasefire agreement. Well, Mari Alice had. Edward had never offered much fight in that battle.

Emmett called it "salting the calf to get to the cow" and teased him about it. I felt pretty certain I should take that comment as an insult. "It's a metaphor!" Emmett insisted. "I am _not_ calling you a cow or Marietta a heifer." Then he had to explain what a heifer was.

A knock at the front door spun me out of my reverie.

Marietta lifted her head from the book she was reading and smirked. "Why doesn't he just come in? He practically lives here." She might tolerate Edward, but she couldn't resist a jab now and then.

When I answered the door, Edward smiled without speaking and took my hand as he followed me into the house. Marietta passed us on the way to the stairs.

"I'll give you a little privacy," she murmured.

"That's new," I whispered as I watched her disappear.

Edward chuckled. "Don't let her fool you. She just doesn't want to be around me."

"Non-verbal sparring?" I asked as we sat on the couch.

He shook his head. "No. She didn't have any intention of being rude. I just can't help hearing her thoughts. She only wanted to get away."

"So, how are you planning on proposing today?"

"Bella, if I just told you it would ruin any possibility of romance." He sighed. "Maybe I should revise my game plan. Go a few days without asking. Build the suspense. Would you be more likely to say 'yes' if I did that?

"No."

He lifted my hand to his mouth and kissed each of my knuckles, then my palm and finally, my wrist. My heart stuttered, and he caught my eye. "I heard that," he whispered before he kissed me again, my pulse beating against his lips.

Suddenly, his head whipped up as if he expected the shriek that followed. I heard a thud and Marietta's footsteps as she ran down the stairs.

"What's wrong, Marietta?" I called out, but it was obvious as soon as she stepped into the room, her shirt stained with blood and a tissue to her nose.

"It looks like I've lost a gallon of blood. And I've ruined this shirt. I like this shirt," she complained.

If the worst she had to complain about was bleeding on a shirt, she was fine.

"Do you feel dizzy? Faint? Does your head ache?" Edward asked in quick succession, taking control of the situation.

Marietta stared at him like he'd grown an extra head. And while she might not feel faint, with all that blood, I surely did.

"You should lean your head forward so you don't swallow the blood. It might make you sick, otherwise," Edward instructed. "And pinch your nose. That will help it stop."

To me he added, "Her heart and respiration rates are normal. She'll be fine. I'll get a cold-pack." Suddenly he held out a baggie filled with ice.

"I know I'll be fine," Marietta shrugged. "And Daddy taught me what to do when I have a nosebleed. I just came downstairs for some ice. If I don't go back upstairs, Mom's going to pass out. You can take care of her if you want to play EMT."

Edward turned to face me, placing one of his cool hands on my cheek. He sighed, his breath shallow. Then I realized: he hadn't been breathing. He'd stopped just before Marietta screamed. The blood. A chill settled over my heart. Suddenly I understood everything.

"Her blood smells different, too, doesn't it?"

He nodded gravely. "Not quite as appealing as yours, but better than the average person."

"Was it difficult for you, just now?" It scared me, asking, but I had to know.

"It wasn't anything like when you've bled around me. But it's always a challenge for a vampire to be around blood," he said, his voice barely above a whisper, his face solemn.

What if we'd been at the Cullens'? Would Jasper have reacted the same way to Marietta bleeding as he had to me? Had I placed her in danger? I lowered my head. I'd never thought twice about spending time with Edward and his family. Never feared them. Never worried about my safety from them, not even after my birthday. It was a risk I was willing to take. But was I willing to risk my daughter?

"This was how you felt, wasn't it? Worried about me. About the danger."

Silently, Edward nodded.

"Why you left to protect me." My voice faded away, and I took a deep breath. "I never imagined how difficult it must have been, to make that choice."

"I wanted to die," he whispered. "The only thing that kept me going was the thought of you, safe and happy."

How had he done it? How had he managed to just walk away? How could I do it?

When I spoke, my voice quivered. "Edward I can't marry you. I can't ever marry you." I gasped, dragging air into my lungs. "I can't do this. It's one thing for me to make that kind of choice for myself. I'm an adult. Even before, I was old enough to make that decision. You know I wanted you to change me. I never hid that. But Marietta. She's too young to change. And the risk."

He stared at me, his face a mask.

"How could I have been so stupid? So selfish?" I wrapped my arms around myself, trying to hold myself together, to keep breathing. "Edward, you have to go."

He kissed me, his lips trailing, cool, over my cheek and down my jaw, ending on my neck just above the collarbone. "I'll come back tomorrow."

I shook my head. "No, Edward. You have to _go_. I can't leave Forks, not with Charlie in the nursing home. And you have to go. All of you, you have to leave. Again." I breathed deeply, forcing the words out. "I'm so sorry, Edward. I'm so sorry, but I can't take a chance with her safety."

He shut his eyes and dropped his chin to his chest, his body shuddering. Then he raised his head and looked at me, his eyes burning into mine. "I love you, Bella. I will always love you."

Then he was gone.


	37. Tatters

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Bronzehairedgirl for her help and patience with this story. Also, thanks to sullencullen AKA muckymuckerson, who made me want to finish this story.

_**Tatters**_

by silly bella

The swirl of emotions nearly made me stagger. I glanced at Alice as she descended the steps. Anger. Anger squared, actually, because she and Edward were fighting. Make it anger cubed. I'd forgotten about Rosalie.

"He's still wearing those awful clothes. Where did he get them? He's worn them since we left Forks," she complained.

Alice flashed her a dirty look. More anger frothed up inside me. "I can't believe that he's up there suicidal, and you're complaining about what he's wearing."

"I know why he's wearing them," Emmett said, his voice unusually quiet. We all watched him, waiting for him to explain. "That's what he was wearing when we had that knock-down drag-out fight. You know, before he came home half-naked." Emmett smiled and shrugged, "Well, more than _half_-naked. They got torn up in the fight and Bella mended them. He may wear them until they disintegrate."

I could taste his frustration mingling with the anger that filled the room and the despair that flowed non-stop from Edward.

Rosalie shook her head. "Somebody has to do something. And he might actually feel better if he changed clothes."

She and Edward acted like they despised each other, but underneath everything else, I sensed the flavor of their love. They were family, and they knew it, just as I knew that right this moment Rosalie would be happy to see Edward dressed in a potato sack if that would actually help him. Of course, she'd rather be torn to pieces and burned than let the others know that.

"I think we're just going to have to wait it out, like last time," I whispered.

Alice reached for my hand as she sat beside me. She recognized the dread in my voice. The last time, I'd been in Alaska when everyone left. All I had to face were my own emotions. At least for a while. But here, now, I felt overwhelmed. I was like Atlas, holding the world on my shoulders as I tried to help Edward and sooth the pain we all shared. It was too much for me, but it would be worse for everyone if I left, even though every cell of my being wanted to run away from the furor of feeling the agony of seven people. At least we were living in the middle of nowhere, so I didn't have to worry about what anyone outside my family was feeling. The closest town in this desolate Canadian wilderness was Yellowknife, and it was miles away.

"I've tried," Emmett sighed. "It's pointless. He's determined when it comes to wallowing. I'd rather deal with a dead pig on a hot afternoon than with Edward when he gets like this."

Rosalie nodded in agreement. "He's so stubborn. At least we didn't have to send Emmett out to find him this time."

Alice grinned at the irony of Rosalie calling Edward stubborn. I clung to the glimmer of joy that sprang from her humor.

If it had been just Edward, I might have found a way to manage the emotional strain. He'd always been moody and angry. But the rest of the family felt broken, too. Carlisle handled it the best, allowing himself to focus on his work. When he came home from the hospital, I filled myself with all the compassion and the happiness in his heart, from the sense of satisfaction that his healing brought. It sprang fresh and new each day, but ebbed away as he mourned for Edward.

Esme's heart had broken along with Edward's. Worry consumed her. She worried about Edward. She worried about Bella. She worried about how the whole situation affected the rest of us. She worried about Marrietta. And she felt the most overwhelming grief.

Not that the rest of us didn't. We missed Bella, too. This time, there'd been no doubt that she and Marietta were family. It hurt to lose both of them. But we couldn't argue with her reasoning like we had with Edward fifteen years ago. Marietta was far too young to change. It frustrated Alice and Edward to face an eternity of adolescence. How would it feel to bee stuck in the body of a thirteen-year-old for an unending lifetime? And without changing her, there was no way we could truly assure Bella that Marietta was safe.

If we changed Bella without changing Marietta, Bella wouldn't be able to see her daughter for at least a year. Probably longer. Rosalie and Esme felt sure that maternal instinct would keep Bella from feeding on her own daughter, but even they didn't want to chance it. We certainly couldn't blame Bella for feeling the same way.

And if we waited until Marietta was old enough to make her own choice, Bella was right. In five years, maybe even less, Bella might not be convincing as a Cullen sibling. Maybe it would have been better not to see her again.

I nearly doubled over, the emotional agony almost a physical pain. Edward hadn't liked that last thought one bit.

Alice reached for me, and as her skin brushed against mine, I felt her love, burning and pure. It sustained me, easing the effects of Edward's misery and the mourning the rest of my family felt. Thank God for Alice. I could never survive this anguish if not for Alice.


	38. Blame

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the authors. No money is being made from this work. No copyright infringement is intended.

This story takes place in an alternate universe and begins almost fifteen years after chapter three of _New Moon_. When Charlie called Renée to come to Forks, Bella went back to Jacksonville with Renée.

Thanks to Bronzehairedgirl for her help and patience with this story. Also, thanks to sullencullen AKA muckymuckerson for making me finally want to finish this story.

_**Blame **_

by silly bella

There was no one to hold me together this time, yet I had to keep going. For Mari Alice. She deserved a mother who could function. There was Charlie to think about, too. And school. School would start in a couple of weeks. And I needed to go fix breakfast.

But I didn't want to get out of bed.

Mari Alice slipped into the room carrying a tray of food. I hadn't heard her in the kitchen. I hadn't smelled the eggs and bacon. Maybe I was losing my mind.

She placed the tray in front of me and sat at the foot of the bed. "Why did they go, Mom?"

I took a bite of the eggs and chewed carefully. It was still hard to swallow. "They just had to go, sweetheart. And it really was for the best." I couldn't expect her to understand. I hadn't been able when it was me in danger.

"I can't believe he left you again. What did he say this time? How could he hurt you like that?" Her words spewed out in a rush of anger.

"It's not his fault, baby." It's mine. All mine. I have only myself to blame.

She glowered in my direction. "He's gone, isn't he? How is that not his fault?"

I didn't want to tell her, but I had to. "It's not his fault." I shook my head. "It really isn't." I glanced away, unable to look into her eyes as I whispered, "I told him to go. I told them all to go."

"You _what_?"

Enraged, she waited for me to answer.

What could I say? I knew from my own experience that it wouldn't be enough for me to tell her that I was protecting her. I sighed and launched into a weak explanation. "They couldn't stay here forever, sweetie. You know that. Someone was bound to recognize one of them eventually."

"We could have gone with them," she challenged.

"How could we have done that? What about Charlie?"

She rolled her eyes. "Mom, Charlie could have come, too. What would it matter if he'd recognized them? Half the time he thinks I'm you and you're in high school. Do you really think that even if he did recognize them and catch on to the fact that they hadn't aged that he could persuade someone to believe him? He has Alzheimer's, Mom. No one would think twice about it."

"We couldn't do that to Charlie – we couldn't take him away from Forks. Away from everybody he knows."

"Everybody he knows? Mom, most of the people he 'knows' are dead. You know as well as I do that Billy Black was his last good friend, and Billy died almost three years ago. We _are_ everybody he knows. _When_ he knows us." She closed her eyes and clenched her jaw. "I just can't believe you _told_ them to go."

She stood abruptly and shook her head as she thrust her hand up, palm out, making it clear she didn't want to hear any more. She slammed the bedroom door behind her.


End file.
